Found out the problem to my "everything"

This time I'm gonna work hard and change everything. & by the grace of God I can do it!

Recently this line had been appearing again and again. "as you walk thru the fire, you will be refined..." I believe in this, and I know if I still feel tt I am being put in the fire, it means I am not "pure" enough to be taken out of it. Yeah.

Went for a steambath at my old childhood place w mum and dad. Enjoyed tt kind of solitude where I get to sit alone, thinking of nothing, just enjoying myself and pampering myself. Life shld be like this. No more stressing and keeping myself from enjoyment. Everyone deserves a break at times! So every forenight, mum's heading there and I'm gonna follow. Hahaha. Gonna enjoy life but it's a different kind of enjoyment.

Being happy at all the changes yet getting refined every moment. I am so thankful and grateful now. This life I have is not my own.

He's the focus of my love ^^

Extrovert to Introvert

They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing .... On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates."

http://typelogic.com/infj.html

Just for self reference..
So i realise.. i may be an introvert for the longest time i ever know myself. hahaha.

Today's the 6th day.
Got to be stronger in everything i do.

Just spoken to a dear friend on the phone, some stuff is so hard to comprehend and tough to go thru especially when it's related to something close to your heart. Thank God for friends who are willing to share, people who are willing to tell something that's hindering them and release themselves from their hurts. Always admire such people like these... God bless them!

Maybe today, it's time to cut off these nails and restring my dear guitar and write my song. yay to guitar. Bye long nails. Havent left you so long since idk when.

Something about clouds tt i really love...
Simplicity and peacefulness....

Waitinggg

Let Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, be upon us, in proportion to our waiting and hoping for You. Psalm 33:22(AMP)

Wow... Amazing verse.
Let God's mercy and loving kindness be upon us in proportion to our waiting and hoping for Him.
The longer we wait, the much mercy and loving kindess will be upon us.. God is good, He will never ever let us wait in vain!

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength..

Ps 33:12(AMP) says "Blessed (HAPPY, fortunate, to be ENVIED) is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He has chosen as His heritage."
& blessed and happy whose Lord is God.

I am a HAPPY GIRL!! :D
JIAYOU TO THOSE READING THIS SPACE!
God's mercy and loving kindness is upon YOU! :D

Accidentally in Love

one of my favourite song.
old times....

Remember us

During pledging just now, just felt led to up the amount again.
To be honest.. i wanted to down it in the morning, but i decided to stay that amount. but when we started to sing again, i up-ed it.

Believing and believing.
Many of us sow in tear, but im believing that we will all reap in joy.
Something will change this season, as i start building and giving, He will build me to be a better and cleaner vessel. I trust in You....

Light of the World..

Light of the World

You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes, let me see

Beauty that made this heart adore you

Hope of a life spent with you

Here I am to worship

Here I am to bow down

Here I am to say that your my God

Your alltogether Lovely

alltogether worthy

alltogether wonderfull to me

King of all days

oh so highly exalted

Glorious in heaven above

Humbly you came to this earth you created

All for loves sake became poor

Ill never know how much it cost

to see my sin upon that cross

Light of the world who stepped into the darkness, to penetrate the dark.
Darkness is the absence of light, and He came.

In this dark period, His light will shine. I know He will shine so brightly. Idk how, but i trust..

Arise and Build

These 4 months is gonna be tough, or maybe the following 11months cause of BF and SOT.

But i trust God..
The amount might not be very big to other people, but to me, it is a very big amount, esp when my internship pay really is terrible ttm. An amount spoken to me ever since Pst talked about it, an amount that appeared in my dream.. The amount that was repeatedly in my head... I will trust and obey, when's there no other way!

Trusting God, Trusting my promiser instead of my promise.
Arise and Build here i come.

When God wants to build His church, the gates of hell shall not prevail.
My house is a house of worship. As i sacrifice and stretch myself this period, God will show Himself so real to me, i believe. My season. I believe, i believe...

Being secured

I guess i am really very very temperamental.. But guess i will come back here once in a while. :D

Was brought back to a book that i read 2 years back.
About being secured in Christ and knowing my position. Was thinking bout the same story about John the baptise and his disciples few days ago and Jieying shared it w me ytd.

Half a year.
I rebuilding and building it up. but the higher i go, the deeper the foundation. Back to the basics. Back to the ancient landmarks. Back to simplicity...

private

People who wants to find out what you're doing will go the extra mile to ask you "how you're doing". 

More than just tweeting, or facebooking and all... i really think social media is destroying this generation of communications. Yes it's good, but im gonna cut down and not relying on it so much. 

More than just typing it out, im putting all of it in actions. 

Showing love in a different way, and something more real... 

Doing something that i would like rather than something i dont like. 

This blog will once again be abandoned by me. ^^ 

Not that im emoing, but i dont trust social media. hahahaha. bye.

One year wiser.. w wisdom tooth

So true of the saying which goes,
"One year older,
One year wiser."

My wisdom tooth is coming out this year, IN MY BIRTHDAY WEEK.
So...
Wisdom tooth coming out -> Gum swollen -> face swollen -> affects eating -> Very hungry even with the most delicious food infront of me -> lose weight? i pray..

K so maybe i actually asked God that on my week i am gonna lose weight, so nv knew it would be like this.
So so so painful.

Just wanna blog this up. hahaha.
k bye!

Lights will guide you home

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones...

Today while washing clothes, okay my routine for 1 month plus... God spoke and said tell Mum i want to go SOT. and guess what, i was hesitating until mum said "if you keep on wait and wait and wait, you will never do it." Like woah, even God is speaking thru her somehow.

So.... i told her. "Mum i wanna go some course next year and i will pay it myself can?"
mum: what course?
me: some course ;)
mum: k i know what course it is alrdy.

Even though she didnt agree on the spot, she didnt reject me too. she just asked me to talk to my brother. somehow, i know i am so going there next year. God answers prayers. and for SOT, i've been praying since 2 years back. even without telling mum what course it was, she knew what i was asking for. This prayer will be answered!

This birthday present is coming true... I pray and i pray...
5 more days.... and im receiving my best birthday present ever. ^^

Embracing

If i dont embrace myself, 
Who will then embrace me for me? 

Start loving yourself.

New every morning...

Had avery rough day ytd cuz of miscommunications at work and kena got "chastening" at work. but the thing that my boss, Prof could actually smile at me after everything and say you need to work on communicating. Kinda encouraging aft feeling tt way, like she's encouraging me yet I was self-condemning myself. Thank God for grace...

Managed to surprise Jieying cuz is her birthday and yay we succeeded. and it brightens up my bad day. :D 

SOT for my Birthday present is more than enough!!
Working these 3 days, I handled more than enough cash(patient paying the doctor) that are able to pay for my SOT fees and I just realised today. I am gonna have more than enough $ for my sot! At least I have $340+ for this month's pay. Plus my internship and all, all will be good! I pray I have more than enough for SOT.

Still confessing for SOT!!!

Oh and goooood day spent w Angel.making me ready for SOT! Yeahhh.

Donkey

Was feeling so so extremely depressed over something today.
and i went on FB and read the story about the donkey shaking the sand off him and climbing out of the well.

If a donkey can actually be so smart and not depressed over being buried alive and thought of a better way of using those sands tt are supposed to kill it into something that bring makes it survive, xy can do it too.

WO KE YI. TADA.
suprisingly, this year im not even counting down to my bday. haha!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LEADER JIEYING. ;)

Instrument of God

Just like how a guitar is created to make music,
I am created to serve God.

Okay so tt was a sub-point of the whole thing i was gonna say.
Somehow or another, i became a cg guitarist. it's like a thing He spoke when cg multiplied like i could help out.. but nv do i know, when joshie go into army i got to take over praise as well. Like amazing how He moves..  Just practised the guitar for 2 hours to 3 just now thus, so late and im still awake.. But wherever God leads i will go..

2nd pt of the day...

Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Whenever new trials come, He starts removing the stones in our heart and slowly put back the flesh that the stones had been taking up in the space of our hearts. & with this, our heart gets even more fleshy and even newer that can be closer to the Spirit.. and new visions come becuz of the new Spirit.

But removing of stones is the painful part. But still i will hold on becuz of Gal 6:9.

So tired so tired nowadays, but I'm clinging on to the promise.
Bird-day in another 14 days? and this year the presents i want is not something money-ish wise. 3 wishes.
1) ____________ (Secret)
2) Family salvation
3) Go SOT next year w Mum's permission.

So anyone can bless me w SOT school fees that's good too ;)
$300/$3000 ---> saved 10% alrdy. Not bad for a start though. JIAYOU XY!

Okay.... No more reading & Let's see the very messy hair me.

 Sorry getting quite zilian nowadays. time to sleeeeeeep. NIGHTS :D

tired max but still alive and breathing

This week is housechores + going out + work +running bedok reservoir 3 times a week = deadbeat
i think im becoming more and more aunty. but oh well, i think i dont look like one.

NEED TO SLIM DOWN DESPERATELY.
oh well, slowly but surely if i continue running. Oh gosh then someone tell me why am i gaining weight. okay going on diet! yay

and i dont understand why im still alive here typing at 2.35am when im gonna go run at 8 ltr. gosh.

Just got to say God is so good to keep me alive.
and im so blessed! to keep receiving blessing in terms of financials. PTL! :D
keep it going, SOT im running to you.
Speak to my mountain and it shall be STILL. so you can stop running about and i can go there next year!

Brings life

1 Samuel 2:6-8

God brings death and God brings life,
brings down to the grave and raises up.


God brings poverty and God brings wealth;
he lowers, he also lifts up.

He puts poor people on their feet again;
he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope,
Restoring dignity and respect to their lives—
a place in the sun!
For the very structures of earth are God's;
he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation.

Words are set by Him. Structures that are being built by His Word that He had spoken. The Word that lays out His firm foundation and made operation taken place. He speaks, the earth comes forth.

If its the earth that is form by His words is such an wonderful creation, what's more for my life?

Brought down to the grave i may be, but i know i will be made alive with rekindled fire that burns my hope with passion again.

This is my season.
and the key to the breakthru of the next door is in my pocket.
The season of life coming alive!

Please remember

One day.... When you cut off your social network w/o any updates about your life and all it's left is just your phone, those people who really bother to give you calls and shorts messages are really truly the people who care..

PTL! Bro got the job! and it's quite good! With 20 days of annual leave per year, for those who study HR, it is way above the Employment Act. Happy for him.

& my grandpa actually told me this, "If you didnt go to church, i would actually love you alot."
hahaha yay, there is actually improvement after like coldness to me for years.. & i managed to talk to grandma more too. Aft she told me about her philosophy of going to church, i just decided to tell her something and i think it really made her think.

So God answered 2 of my prayers ytd, Bro got his job, and it didnt rained in the morning. :D

& This song had been ringing in my head since last week.
I really love Leann Rimes, old singer but i really think the older singers actually have more substances.



Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together

And at the end of the day, even if all else forgotten about you, He is just singing... "Please remember, please remember. I was there and always there... Please remember the time we are together."

Keep holding on...

So............ my 2nd new maid ran away again.
This time she ran because she thought a sardine fish which has red gavy and in red colour is some bloody bloody animal that we keep and cooked, and she thought the sea cucumber was some snake... o.m.g.

oh yeah, best part! i havent seen her face yet, and i went running in the morning, and she's gone. why the 2 maids run when i go running. i dont mind they go run with me so they wont run away..

okay, so time to update my life so i remember.
HOUSECHORES. + feeding jiejie cilla's cat, smokey and she bit me on the first day i took care of her. :/

Seriously house chores are very tiring... but oh well.
im holding on~ if you want to make a small chat with me, ask me how am i and i will tell you, im doing house chores everyday. BIG CHAT, you can talk to me about house chores and i will talk to you like an aunty. JUST joking. or you dont want to talk to me, it's fine!

Life is fine. Guess everyone's busy with their stuff and moving on.
I think i move on too fast. 18 --------> 45.
Wooots just joking.

At least i run 3 times every week.
I pray, dont let it rain tmr, and bro gets the job he is applying. Thank God he passed the first interview. Oh and woah, my mum actually asked me to pray for korkor to get the job. wooahhh. ^^

Please remember...
Cause I remember...