Nothing much

When life goes gaga, i want to haha.

[edit]
Had been a grumpy week and i have to admit my attitude is the worse this week and i hate this week. mark down this week xy and never do it again.

Sorry to everyone, those i haven't been nice to.
That's not me, that's the bad xy. I'm returning to the nice xy with better attitude.
Change starts w self-humbling. Changes starts w me.

God, help me...
[/edit]

be true

Be true to yourself...
It's where all things begins...

pure love

When everything is just so simple and perfect.
& when all bad things seem so far away..

I want that kind of simplicity.

care to get me eeyore?

Eeyore is hardly ever happy and when he is, he's still sardonic and a bit cynical. Ironically, he seems to enjoy being gloomy to some extent, but nevertheless, he seems genuinely appreciative of the efforts of his friends to cheer him up, for example, when Pooh and Piglet build The House at Pooh Corner for him, or when they give him birthday presents of a honey jar (empty) and a balloon (accidentally burst). His grumpiness might be attributed to the fact that his tail is affixed to his behind using a pushpin and has a tendency to fall off.
Eeyore is generally quite a reliable character; a person you can lean on in times of trouble. He can sometimes be quite insightful - in Winnie the Pooh's Most Grand Adventure, he was the first to understand that the group didn't have to go on a long and dangerous journey to become strong, smart or brave - they had it inside them all along.
Favourite quote: Thanks for noticin' me.

Not just of the cute looks, but the character he has.
What a weird comparison but, i kinda see the eeyore inside of me sometimes, maybe not the good points but the cynical part all tt..

I love eeyore. Anyone care to give me one, cause i gave it to my angel REYNA today!

My covenant with you

Here i am bowing down before You
Give my life to follow You Lord
Here i am reaching for Your presence
Clinging to that One thing
Even though all fades away..


And i will sing, of the promises You made to me
And i will keep the joy that You have given to me
Surrendering all my fears to You
Living to be closer to You Lord
Here i am

The last week of Jan and this whole Jan had been exciting.
Sum up everything and put everything into one song.
Havent been on one for a long time, cause a song have to be from one's heart, and this is from mine...

Have a break

I shall take a break... (:

You're the best thing that has happened to me

You say You want all of me
I wouldnt have it any other way
I've got a Saviour and He's living in me
I wana know, I wana know You today
And You're the best thing that has happened to me
And the world will never take
The world will never take You away

Had a weird night yesterday.. but thank God all is well.
Went for LM tonight and heard PK spoke w his heart. So thankful for him and Sun, and thankful that i have the privilege to even join in LM since 2008. Thank God for all... & looking forward to a greater 2011.

Whenever something bigger happens in the spirit realm, i know another breakthrough is coming and i'm believing in it. and now i thank God mum believes me too. Bigger breakthrough in a certain area. idk what it is but i know i will know it soon.

"I shall not fear, for the Lord my God is with me'
Had been on repeat mode since last night.

Formal presentation tt day:

Above all

My body clock is abit screwed.. :(

Studying till now. Blame it on me, burning midnight oil.
I must study harder alrdy la. no slacking.. if i wanna get in uni.

Still, REMAIN POSITIVE.
Future seems so far yet it's actually just one year later where i have to decide if i wanna go uni or not. Leaving all in His hands, but of course i need to put in my effort too.

Shall wake up and study later on.
I pray it will be fruitful.
Mum's like back from work and i'm awake.
haha time to sleep. 2hours of nap just now and off to lalaland now for a while.

Poly life is not easy, who say it was?!
hahaha. sofa my bestfriend tonight!

more than enough

Seriously I'm treasuring all the moments spent with my family, my father, my mum, brother, sister and jy.

Spent my whole day in school doing project just now, not really whole day but since 4pm to like 8 plus? still.. like my whole day. hahaha. if im weren't in school, i will be slacking at home.  but oh well.. Why am i online? cause of presentation tmr.. :/ doing my script and just done w the ppt! jiayou xy!

But at least i spent the rest of my day w dearest family. (:

Heard this BEST NEWS of the year just now, and i pray it is true. only when it is true then i will blog it up and shout hallelujah! hohoho something tt i prayed so hard for, and really i pray it is true! :D

Just thinking, it's gonna be my very 3rd year in church this coming march/april. and we're moving to suntec, omg ya! like the exact day... weeee sounds good! no wonder it's special!

John 16:21-23
"When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it (THAT'S MEANS YOU GOT TO GO THRU IT!). But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain. The sadness you have right now is similar to that pain, but the coming joy is also similar. When I see you again, you'll be full of joy, and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You'll no longer be so full of questions.

MY JOY~
Oh joy and joy...
Thinking more on the word "joy" recently..
It's never about the things happening around that makes us tired, but the condition of our heart. I'm gonna be JOYful! and it comes from within!

New "Xinying" with the new "joy" shall birth forth i pray! :D
The happiness thing is to be happy!

JOY

这喜乐也没有人能夺去。。。

My joy.. The joy can NEVER take away.
Soaking myself in the wine of the HS (:

smile

Sometimes i feel that people around us deserves a smile more often..

With all they are facing, just one smile could actually brighten their day. (:
Gonna smile more and face life w a SMILE :D


:D

this is my love story~

I think the good thing about what i have is really only my eyes. hoho. minus the eye bags. (:
(K this is random!)

"Let go of all" was what God spoke during worship today. Straight after service and fellowship, i was like super amaze by how God can change things.

Thoughts from this week:
"Getting tired of worrying, cuz i dont recognise tt it's of God. Cuz if i know He's in control, i dont have to worry." was what i blogged on Jan 21's post,
& Friday i was just thinking, what if i'm getting tired of fighting everything that's going on in my life, all the conflicts, politics and burdens and more..

& Today i got my answer...
God will fight for me.
He will and will never stop.

Read this verse ytd and tweeted it,
The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace. (Exodus 14:14 )
Nothing's too hard 4 Him! Dont complain, dont doubt but BELIEVE!
& today God threw it back into my face. hahaha.

2 words to sum up my week, "Worrying week" and Pst Phil's word was so timely...
& when i learn to stop worrying, i receive news! Breakthru for next week. :D
Whenever i recognise things are not mine but of God's, He will come and do something.
I surrender ALL.

I thank God in all things, good or bad, He's in control.
Lord of my life.

Things happens when you BELIEVE.
i reject myself from all unbelief! :D

/////////
& i shouldn't get myself a iphone4 or a 4gen itouch, if not i will just camwhore everyday and post up zilian pictures which i havent been doing for a long time until the 4gen itouch and iphone4 had been appearing around me recently. FB all spammed w them! hahah.

Proj tmr in school, what a way to spend my sunday, but yeahhh. All is well. I had my deserved fun and rest today already! :D

GOD IS GOOD.
& i shall trust and believe even more.
Believing in the basic things, and simplest things actually is difficult sometimes when you just think about it. but nevertheless, i dont want to be lazy and tired of believing the simple truth. (:

what happens when i have itouch 4gen around..

Dearest Bizhew and Manwei are like my dearest friends in SP.
Okay no doubt conflicts happen, but i guess this may be the thing i will miss in poly.
At least, i thank God for them, for them to be there in poly w me.

Gonna be the last few weeks of Year 2, and lotsa projects. T&D have to be completed next week and ahhh, tight tight... I pray all goes well. Thank Mr Albert let us hand up our UCCD proj slightly later. (: He's nice.. & after not running for ages, i ran today, to hand up report and print report. tt feeling is actually quite good, at least you're running for a good cause. hahaha!

Life's good.

Cgm's good. Wanna be faithful. Faithfulness...
In where i am placed.

REAL

Somehow nowadays, i prefer to be the REAL me instead of hiding.
If i want to be retarded, i will do it. If i want to be quiet, i will do it. I want to say something, i will say it.
Maybe it's just the environment training me to be what im thinking nowadays..

But whatever i dare to do, i dare to account it.
I want the world to know the REAL me, instead of someone whom i'm trying to become.
Why should i care to be the someone others wants me to be?
I'm happy being who i am, and i don't have to care.

Attitude sia this post.
But main point, be who YOU TRULY ARE, rather than being someone whom you or others want you to be. You will be happier that way. (:

My position is secure in CHRIST, rather than who people tell or look at me.
& i rather be who He wants me to be, than what others wants me to be.

Sensitive

Everyone have this senstive area in their life about them that they don't want you to touch at all. & maybe, if you touch it, the gift of assess is gone.

Not saying this because of sch! (cuz u may think this is typed during school period. )

Always be sensitive to others, if not the friendship/relationship might be brolen very easily.

In another light, if you wanna touch on your friend's sensitive area, have wisdom on how to go w it. Have the right word built on it.. Or else, words do hurt. (:

CGM later on!! :D

Be like You

I sing a love song to You Lord
Everyday, every night
Tell of You goodness and mercy

Was reading Exodus tt day, & it pop out to me, Moses. God asked what is in his hands, and he said "a rod"..

& aft a few passages later, Moses recognises the rod as the "rod of God". He surrendered the only thing he had on his hands & thru tt rod, miracles happened and even the best magicians could not beat God's rod.

God i surrender. Not mine, but Yours.
Whatever in my hands, in my head, the talents, the thoughts and little details, Father God, all to You.

Getting tired of worrying, cuz i dont recognise tt it's of God. Cuz if i know He's in control, i dont have to worry.

Graceeeee.

you need a channel

Sometimes when you have no channels to let out everything,
you end up crying.

All of us need a channel.

i am who i am

When the stage is bare tonight
There's no one else
Just You and me
When the curtains close behind
There's no pretense
I'm on my knees

Sometimes i don't understand why things can move so fast in one second and then tada, it changes.
Not that it's not good. but yeahh..

One place where i can truly be me..
There's no pretense.. One place where i can be who i truly am, where no one sees.
No one... except for Him alone.

Make me whole God.. (:
Maybe it's time to pick up a guitar and write a new song.


[edit]

Thinking.... that my life shouldn't be base on a few things..
but on ONE thing.


[/edited]


[edit again]


i shall be me


[/edit again]

pictures recent spam

Zhizhar just now!

Awesome member Kelvin!

Spastic sister

Muso Outing! The dye hair group of ppl!

Awesome cindy!

Awesome Leejie!!

Awesome Shar!! :D

Loving my life just the way it is.
Watched "Tan/Dan qing shou an" and i cried just now. So touching and sad when silimei and kingsley were not together. :/ but yay, they reconciled! :D

Thinking so much bout things around, and i'm getting peh chek sometimes. pehchek w my thoughts.. but all is well, cause i know my God is w me.

New thoughts, new conclusions, new revelations. (:

mother's love

These few weeks, okay past 2 weeks, i have been sick.
But to think about it, i'm not very sad about getting sick actually. Okay even though i scolded myself for running under the rain even when i'm sick and made me extra sick. But it's alright. Haha.

Even thought mum loves scolding me also, deep down i know, Mum cared for me. (":
2 weeks ago, when i thought she's gonna throw me at polyclinic again, she appear infront me w soya milk and bread, knowing i haven't ate my breakfast. & cause the queue was too long, she said she rather spend more money than wait for this polyclinic. At tt moment even though i didnt show it, i was super touched within.

& today and ytd, she actually 'scolded' me, to come home early, to take care, not to eat chips and so and so. Fierce yet deep inside a love.

Actually deep within everyone's heart, lies a little kid who wants their mum or dad to love. Even though they don't show their love 24/7, i know that there is some obvious signs that they still love the kid, and mum loves me. At the side of their eyes when they are scolding me words that hurt me, they feel bad(i believe so..) and signs of aging, the wrinkles beside their eyes cause they worry too much.

& i'm just tt little kid who wants mum and dad to love me.

& to end off,
I love my dad and mum.
& i thank God for them. :D

glory in the power of the cross

Behind every man, there's his vulnerable moments. & it is what he does during those moment that makes him even stronger. (:

Kinda addicted to this song, "In Christ alone", thanks to Jingying. Thanks girl. (:

Not everyone is strong all the time, and i dont know if i blogged this before, but the strongest man is actually the weakest man. Weak cause he had went through so many vunerable moments that is able to break him. Imagine the tears he cried, times when he thought of giving up and thinking that death is the best solution, but he didn't.

Strength don't come from how well you can fight physically, but mentally.
Every one can get tired someday, when fighting 20 people, and you see another 100 coming in to attack, your flesh may fail you. But if you have the right spirit and mentality you want to go through it, you will eventually.

Your determination is the greatest strength. & usually the place we draw our strength is very crucial, it determines whether we stand or fall & if the source of our strength suddenly fails, we will fail and fall.
So i pray i stand on the right source of strength.

People might fail me, friends may fall away, but one won't.
& i trust on this... On Christ i stand.

Anyone could say, "hey look at tt person, always so happy and smiling, bet he didn't have anything happened to him before.", but hey, you didn't see his vulnerable side before. So next time before you do that, maybe you can stop and see if there's any 'obvious scars' on him. Tiredness, the way he speaks and all. (if you wanna do this deep thought thing. haha)

That's why i look up to PK. (:


In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

But why,
cause of His grace....
which i can do more.

On a lighter note,
I slept alot today, fever is gone, headache is gone. Flu still here, but will be gone soon.
Thanks for the prayer guys! Heading back to school tmr, and i cannot afford to miss school anymore, cause i have HR chapter, redhill survey thingy. I need to be healed asap and i claim tt promise too! yay! :D

In Christ alone

In Christ alone,
I place my trust,
And find my glory in the power of the cross

I forgot the top part of the song.
In Christ alone, i place my trust...

Putting down everything, at the foot of the cross. (:

First 2 weeks of 2011 had been interesting, like what i told my 2 dear friends, i found the true focus of this year already.
& may i fix my eyes on them. (:

Am committed to my 3 STARS that i opened ytd.
I CLAIM this 3 promises He given me. (:

My source of strength

My source of strength
My source of hope
In Christ alone...

Jy sang this just now.. On the way home aft a day of supposingly 'shopping' to fellowship.. Okay & ended up, i think im having fever. :/

Feeling a little confuse right now, about certain stuff and now im just waiting for a reply to let it all out. I pray...

Great msg from PK ytd, thought of my STAR are His promises campaign ehich i started for myself last year, & i decided to take 3 out ytd, & just nice, 3 of them were prayers not answered & something In my heart tt i wanna focus alot this year & God reassured me..

Challenges will come,
But on His promises i will stand.

Being set apart... 3 words im gonna think more about. To be at this place where im standing today, i have to do something tt i usually wouldnt do, to give up things. So i pray, may i continue to do the right things...

& be guided...

Thanks for fellowship today! Denise, Kenrick, Gouwei, Weisiang, Dylan & dearest Jingying. I love you all <3

Here I am

HERE I AM

3 words that Abraham said..
3 words that Isaac said..
3 words that Jacob said...

when God called their name... & God blessed them and caused them to be fruitful and multiply.. and make them a great nation. (:

3 words can make a difference...

friends

Thought to self, isn't it very awesome to have like-minded people around you? that your topics never ever end and you can go on forever forever?

Had one of the longest talk on msn w Sarah and it's one of the longest and ongoing one ever since im super inactive in msn nowadays. random stuff but something tt both of us was thinking inside and we go on and on and on.

Read this on twitter one day, when silence is comfortable with this friend, it shows that he/she is your true friend. Quite true right? like silence is usually awkward at times, but it's difference when u feel a diff atmosphere in tt silence.. Just enjoying each other's presence even in silence.

One thing that i'm thinking about recently,
FRIENDS. 

What's the role of a friend and what's the role to play?
& today while talking to jy on the train, i realise something..

Friends, do not have to sms everyday
Friends, do not have to talk everyday
Friends, do not have to spend everyday tgt
Friends, do not have to meet up everyday

But a friend who is there everytime when we need them,
W a spirit that flows with you, who knows what you want and meets ur needs....
W a heart of love, acceptance and not condemnation when you're having a bad day and having the worse attitude ever, and all the differences between both of you.

& most imptly, cares more about the friendship, rather than their own 'face' when you and him/her gets into the fight and says sorry first.

& actually there's more to being a friend... and i'm praying that i can learn to be a better friend.
Just like learning to be a lover, a parent, a daughter/son and all, we're not born perfect to be a person, but we all learn to be a better someone to another person.

When we start to give, we start to receive.
You want love, give love.

But now.... on my way to learn to be a better friend.
Thankful for all the friends placed around me.
Friends i havent been spending time w, friends who made me who i am today, friends who love me just the way i am. Thank you guys.

& most imptly, thankful for my Best Friend.
But still time is very impt to build relationship! not saying dont dont spend time at all k!!!
Time to spend time w my favourite Person. (:

faithful

Had a very good time of worship w @happydose.
Like it when we just waited on Him, in guitar strums, in voices. Peace just started to reign over the place.
As we're worshiping and praying, it seems like He was sitting in with us, praying w us also.

Had a good time (:
& i remembered what Pst Mark preached last week, transformation.
Simon -> Simon Peter -> Peter
Jacob -> Israel

He had an image for us. & for Jacob, it took 3 chapters for him to be officially called Israel. During tt 3 chapters, aft getting the new name aft wrestling w God, after tt, reconciled w Esau, disappointment w his daughter and sons, returning to House of God(Bethel) and lastly, his wife he loved most, Rachel died. & after letting go and burying his wife, finally he was called Israel, he had his transformation & breakthru.

Rachel wasn't a very good person i realized. Gen 31:19, she stole her father's household idols, Gen 31:34-35, she lied to her father about stealing. & she's a jealous wife.

Spending alot of time on one stuff doesn't mean it's the best. Jacob spent 14 years to marry Rachel, but in the end, it just seems like Rachel was one of the hindrance to his transformation/breakthru when he gt his breakthru aft she passed away.

Sometimes the hardest thing in the walk, is just letting go the things we treasure the most. 

But all of us got to realize, that the things we used to treasure most, might not be the most important thing.

Let us not be blind to see the things God wants us to have, but open your eyes and see. (:

Place to bury our hindrance, the house of God (Gen 35:19).

Place to bury our past, the house of God, where everything can start afresh again :D

Just one of my thoughts... 

May i not be blinded to things i shouldn't be fixing my eyes on.

that's why you go

i llikey Maroon 5! Brings back many memories.

Makes me wonder, Won't go home without you and moreee.
Have been so outdated with the music in the recent years. But doesn't matter anyway too cause the recent music havent been like super nice. & i love Micheal learns to rock. Awesome much!


& Westlifeeee! Awesome tooo!

Heard Westlife in Mango w Sarah & Jasmin that dayn and sarah and i just sing along only. Awesome, i need to go back to my sec school days where all the nice good music is still around. hohoho.

I LIKE OLD SONGS. & i think this is random, but my wedding songs will be filled with old songs. hohoho.
okay im gonna go home and pay off my sleep debt later on. headache and pimples and eyebags. :/
All be gone plsss. thanks!

Keeping my eyes focus, fixing my eyes. jiayou xy! :D

random thoughts

Sometimes i wonder what is it like to read my blog if i'm just another random person like you reading this page here.

I was thinking if i should create a formspring so people can ask questions, but base on old history that happened to me, i decided not. Many times i wonder how people think of me, that's why i usually get quite paranoid when jingying decides to tell other people about me and what i'm doing. Like if anything have the factor 'me' inside, i will go 'omg what that person say bout me?!' 

Heyyy that's why most of us who have siblings dont like our siblings to be friends with people we know. RIGHT?!?!? So our personal unglam ugly side wont be known to the social circle of ours! ADMIT IT NOW! hahahaha!

So this shows i'm still a very 'care about opinion/sensitives' person and want to know what other people says bout me. But in recent years, i came to realise actually this factor of me kinda dropped a lot even though it's still there. Can you imagine, in P6 days when people say 'hey xinying you so fat', i cried the next moment? hahaha!

Still working on the way that this opinions thingy doesn't matter so much to me, so that when i hear negative things about me, i can filter it out. 

K this is just a type-on random thought. 

Another random thought, God is in control of everything. 

Ever since last year till now, i think im super trained up for this certain area for my life, thrash hole high ttm. But other than making this thrash hole high, i need to train up the response of this thrash hole. So that i can just stop building up this thrash hole, and change the thing making my thrash hole higher. 

Turn things around, and make the imperfect perfect. 

God gives grace to the imperfect. (:

PS: I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY EYEBAGS!
okay maybe sleep early sounds good? i think...

bu zhi de

Like like this song alot since young.
never knew the meaning of the song till today.

& it seems like this for everyone.
we like this song so much, but after very long we listen to it again, then we will realise the deep meaning of the song. hohoh.

& i realise the meaning of this song, is tt that someone dont deserve of the singer's affection for tt someone. NOT WORTH IT. HOHO. niceeee. who's tt someone or something who don't deserve your feelings and love? move and change to somewhere else so your heart won't be broken!

okay, im not posting this just to move down the old ugly pics of me and jasmin, but i just came across this song i likey~ wanted to post this first but jasmin gave me the idea of posting old pics! hahaha.

dedicated to jasmin ng

All the way from 2007,

Just laugh. fat face!

irritating face

concerts

better looking face

impressions, my skinnest moment but still fat

first time in church event

first cgm @ boon's hs

first fellowship

first whole dyed hair

the 4 cgcs in w459!

appreciation 2009

somewhere in 2009

beginning of 2010

april 2010

somewhere in 2010

april 2010

weeeeeeeeeee, thru the years we grow, from fat to skinny to fat.
till you're skinny and im still fat, (okay words shapes my life, im not fat amen.)
You were there. Thanks for so many many.
I'm proud to say we grew up together, and from glory to GLORY.

& no matter what decision you make,
i support you till the end!
I love love you Jasmin ng.

LAUGH AT THE PICS K! yay. :D