suddenly...

I just wanna say bye to this blog again.

Tada... Thanks for the memories.
I wanna be secretive for a sec... but oh well, no one cares. (:

Bye spotthespellingmistake again.
You have been good to me.

Nobody else..

For nobody else
But Jesus only You

Never want to forget this first love, the reason why i am standing here...

Was reading the new book i bought, "Elijah". One line caught me,
"Those who find comfort in the court of Ahab can never bring themselves to stand in the gap with Elijah."
Never want to find comfort in things He doesn't like, never want to stray away even when i don't feel it anymore, but i want to be like Elijah, i want to stand in the gap even when it means i'm alone.

Moving to Suntec already, and it means, a new level.
I don't want to find comfort in this place, but i want to move forward, stepping out.

As Year 3 of poly is approaching, it only means that I am growing older, and i should be thinking in a different way. No longer the younger days thoughts but new thoughts.

Growing up and out.

This is just random... but I realise..
Everyone is growing up & growing out of the fleshy nature.

The old man got to go....
Was running just now, and i realise i lost my stamina... Now i guess i got to run more to get it back... to head for my goal. Got so many things... so many many things i wanna say, but nah.

Likewise, running is like our capacity to do things... the more you dont run, the more you wont run & the more you don't do anything, the more your capacity won't grow. Thus, RUN. Even if it is tiring. EXPAND even though it is tough.

INCREASE YOUR STAMINA XY!
Looking forward to my time tmr. hohoho.

& some things got to be cleared out.
Clearing my comp again. (:

getaway day

Tmr shall be my getaway day, alone, not gonna reply any smses, calls, tweet and anything.

& tmr's the start of my official not using computer, cept for my love buffet. hahaha. 

After my HRC meeting at school, im heading out to a place where no one can find me, i pray... And do the thing that i want to do and supposedly according to my goal card, it should happen every once a month. but oh well, not too late to start. 

If i don't reply your sms, it's not that i'm dao. It's just that, i need a space to catch up. (: 

Jy asked, why do you like to go out alone? 

So many answers to this questions, but one i could be sure of. I feel more me... :D

And Lord, we want to thank You for the works You've done in our lives

Just that night, Jingying and I were like flipping our primary school songbook, and today during service, we sang one song and it's just so familar...

Thankful tt even though like i'm not a Christian when i was young, mum somehow put in into St Hilda's. & there, i met Him.

Times that i will look out of the window and just sing a random song i decided to just sing. I used to thought i'm a weird kid, but now.. i know i'm specially made, by Him.

& now as i look back, i know, it is planned. It is destined, that i am meant to be here where i am now, doing things i am doing.

Guess this season, i'm bought back to the younger days... .
& i know He wants me to continue my walk. From SHPS, even though i can move on to better schools, i moved on to SHSS w morning devotions again. & Sec 4, Dearest Jasmin bought me to church and somehow i agreed to her invitation and rejected others, and now i am here. & i know i am meant to be planted here, my family.

Amazing how i am here today, but i thank You.
Moving on to greater heights, moving in closer.
But, i dont want to just move on just like this, i want Your presence to move, before i move in. I don't want to move to places You're not at. I dont want to be the one who thinks i know it all.

I trust in You.
& I just want to flow w You just like how i did the past 13 years of my life..

And Lord we want to lift Your Name on high,
And Lord we want to thank you
for the works You’ve done in our lives.
And Lord we trust in Your unfailing love
For you alone are God eternal,
Throughout earth and heaven above.

fridge spoil

I'm up and actually i'm sleepy and wanna sleep..
But my fridge's spoiled and mum asked me to stay up for the first time in my life and look after the fridge incase it explodes cause it's vibrating very violent, EH TALKING BOUT VIBRATING, IT'S DIDNT VIBRATE FOR 20 MINS!!! HOHOHO! okay continue staying up.

The fridge have weird frequency~

Exam's over and im free but somehow i dont have the free feeling. maybe after i get my results..
Okay the fridge just vibrated violently at 3.18.... :(

Waiting and waiting.
It seems like a process. But like what Kelvin said ytd, if i have to wait, so be it. If i am to be cut, so be it... That is the word for me. If i can't wait for a small little to come, i won't be able to wait for my dream to pass. Waiting seems difficult and long, but i pray i will never lose hope. (: I will trust.

I'm still thinking.. oh ya, let me understand my thoughts soon..


Totally forgot how much i love 張韶涵 last time. My favourite favourite singerrr!
She's still so power! 娛樂百分百 lets me catch up w my old time favourites! woooo~

Happy Birthday @happydose

好朋友！ 生日快乐！
这个博客文章有一点点的晚，但是我想说，感谢你这几年来的友情！
感谢上帝我有你这个朋友！
今年会是一个非常棒的一年，你心里想要的东西会慢慢地实现！还有不管发生什么事，我一定会在这里提你撑腰！

我在拼什么~
你在拼一个更美好，更开心，更充满爱的生命！加油！ 我爱你哦！

Be lifted up

Had a very good meeting, a refreshing one.

He was there with me ever since my bus trip down. till EDB studying alone. Meeting was really awesome, maybe it's just me or something today, i think if i have a big measuring cup to measure my tears, i would measured up to the 2nd maximum measure in my life, but just feel thankful. (:

When i was saying to myself something today, God totally changed the thing 180 degree around.

Being not me recently, maybe cuz of the lack of communication w humans except w ppl at home, but i came to myself more, i think i need to be at peace w myself more. peace..

But thank God for the meeting today.

You're the potter, i'm the clay.
I cannot do anything, but wait for you to move even more. Throw me, slam me, hit me and do whatever you want, but i pray... i  pray for Your grace, give me the grace to endure all. Your grace is all i need.

Just One touch... & i will wait.

Just realise the whole big saga was one year ago, and it re-acted today. But it was better this year. much better, but i pray next year, NO MORE. & i will be stronger.


Mold me & make me,
This is what i pray...

爱

爱和喜欢被需要的感觉是不一样的。。。

I think taiwan dramas will never happen in real life especially in Singapore.. hahaha.
Just finish watching my Love Buffet to reward myself abit. hahaha. (: So much for no using computer huh xy... shall start next week, with concessions to watch my Love Buffet (:

So in the midst, i learned something too. hahahha.

你不应该压抑自己的感觉， 这会让自己变得没有价值。。
我们都要学会面对自己，， 找到自己的价值，这样才会真正的幸福。。

By suppressing our own feeling, we're devaluing ourselves.. But as long as we are at peace with ourselves, and find our own worth and value, we can find our own happiness..

Not only for love relationship in the show, but normally...
Never devalue your worth, but know you are of value... You are good. (:
Be at peace with yourself, be at peace.

不凋零的花

我总是怕 我失去我自己
像摔坏的玩具 该怎么缝补空洞的眼睛
想哭 找不到理由哭
呼吸已经麻痹 一百个谎言是我的面具

我不想孤独面对我自己
救我 脱离一切

但，终于我找到了你。
谢谢你。。

Jieying was telling how amazing Chinese is, that one character can actually can show the whole picture...

I can find myself in You.
If I cannot be a friend standing beside You, I rather be a follower following behind, till I catch up w You.

In You, I find me.

1000th post!

I'm gonna ban myself from using the comp from tmr onwards, which is 12am onwards. & it means no drama... Thinking if I should avoid dearest twitter and fb too..

New plan, new lifestyle.
No sleeping aft 12am, tt means I must be on my bed at 11.30 at least every night.. Unless I come home late which is a no no too.

Little foxes be remove from my life!
Oh best thing, I twisted my ankle, thank God it's not very serious.. But I don't care alrdy. Still gonna run. Was visualising awesome things it'd and it's gonna come to past.

So many little foxes in my life, and I'm not gonna grow them to foxes or some foxes is taking their place alrdy, but I'm gonna change them!!!

2 more paper and I'm free to do whatever I like for 1 month!
Jiayou xy!!

Oh Lord I hunger, for more of You. Rise up within me, let me know You're true..

Father of life draw me closer
Lord my heart is set on you,
Let me run the race of time,
With your life enfolding mine,
And let the peace of God,
Let it reign.

Oh Holy spirit, Lord my comfort
Strengthen me, hold my head up high
And I'll stand upon your truth,
Bringing glory unto you,
And let the peace of God, let it reign.

Oh Lord I hunger, for more of you.
Rise up within me, let me know your true.
Oh Holy Spirit, saturate my soul.
And let the life of God, fill me now,
Let your healing power,
Bring life and make me whole.
And let the peace of God, let it reign.


4 words...
i. need. to. know. something.
3 words
peace. of. God.

Above song is one song i sang in primary school and almost forgot the tune until i flipped the page again, and somehow the melody rang in my head.. my season song i guess.

Can't imagine how i sang all these songs happily when i was young. & i think i said before on my blog somewhere, when a friend of mine asked, "eh you not christian sing so loud?!" i thought she attitude me, but i nv knew, this fact that she asked me bounce back to me today.. Being young and not knowing the song's meaning at all, and now grown up, knowing a bit more of the meaning of the song and singing it. He was there all along.. He was, He is, He will...

It's just so amazing to look at worship leaders lead the congregation. the connection when they lead and connect w Him. The connection.. Lord i hunger...

&  no matter how hard i try to prove myself everything's alright sometimes, i got to face the truth and know it is not alright. and i have to change things. Peace of God come i pray..

Let me run the race of time, With Your life unfolding mine.

Was singing SHPS hymm book w Jy just now...
The young days when we dk what we're singing, and the thing is that we kept it till now. like im 19, and primary school was 7 years ago.

Okay, nothing much, but visiting the days of youth.
Miss being young, but im old.
okay, maybe when im much older and i look back, i will be like wooooo.

Running the race of time...
Positively having this thought, looking forward to the days when i'm done w Earth and go whenever i am going after this. hahaha. (:

old days

if i could go back to old days..
i will be slimmer...
i will still have some things i love alot...
some stuff wont change..
and more and more...

but i wont be who i am today and have the things i love now.
So not gonna look back, and look forward and treasure the things i have now and not lose more things...
I kinda miss secondary school days... But oh well, everyone's getting on with their life. (:

[edit]
I CONCLUDE: I NEED TO LOSE FATS ON MY FACE AND EVERYWHERE.
I need to look like i belong somewhere, other than the family of fats.

& the reason why i dont look like jy and jy dont look like me is because im fat. :(
okay to comfort myself, i ran today. and to decomfort myself, my running kinda failed. 2.5km only, HOWWWW?! okay. i got to stop ranting here. okay, to comfort myself, not alot of people are reading this blog. so YAY :D

somehow

i think i got a very young face...
but somehow.. i got a mature looking face.

okay maybe when my face is fatter i got a baby face, then when i abit thinner i abit mature-er, i look more mature. oh gosh... sometimes i feel my face is so misplaced, like i dont belong here and dont belong there. like you know group of frieds then suddenly this face pop out and looks weird in it? okay maybe it's because of other factors alrdy. hohoho ignore this random face thingy. NEED MY FACE TO SLIM DOWN and first step is to sleep early, BUT IT'S 2.40AM NOW.

AHHHHHH xy go sleep!
&&&& short tongue people like me, CANNOT pierce tongue. Can you imagine, short tongue then got one stud. Cannot talk properly alrdy, still pierce.. I'm thinking of random things in the middle of the night. Gosh, feel so high now..

kkkk stop. BYE :D

Wondering..

Sometimes i wonder..
Is this One Thing enough for me?
Is it what i really want?
Is it something that i really need now?
Is it really so impt?
And on and on...

Most of you may feel its a faith crisis, but i think its a heart check.. We can't keep believing on something that we don't understand. Head-faith & heart-faith... I wanna believe w my heart, not just my head.

We need heart checks, to prevent faith crisis..

Shall list out my answers to my questions today. (:

:D

Spending my awesome Vday at home watching my taiwan dramas..
oh man... it's like wooohoooo. :D

Can't wait for my next esp of Love Buffet! :D
Hohohohoho.

As i read thru my blog tt day, i realise there's many seasons i spotted in it. or rather than spotting the spelling mistakes, it's spotting the seasons! niceeeee.
So important to know my season, but of cuz my season now is not just watching taiwan dramas. i got to prioritize it well! :D

I still like Ah Yi!! even though da ye very the nice.

Know my season well xy! :D
& when i know it well, i know what i can do, the best out of it. Living it well!

[edit]
NEWS OF THE DAY!


CONGRATS RAYVIN & JIEYING ON UR ENGAGEMENT!!

I AM SO SO SO SO HAPPY FOR BOTH OF YOU! :D

Happy Vday to you

A very special day to all the couples all there!

Finished my date w HRIS lab test alrdy, kinda sian tt my system was a little argh but all is well. Definitely a pass.

Was thinking why people celebrate vday and came up w this, cuz its a day of significance. Rmb those days where i will spend alot of money to prepare gifts in secondary school esp sec 4, with the spastics. Preparing gifts for bandmates, 4E, spastics and special ones.. Those were the days..

Oh well, since then till now i havent found a purpose to give gifts during vday. Since im out of secondary school, MAYBE I SHOULD START A NEW TREND somewhere...  Hahaha.

& i have a date today...
With my dearest mummy and jy at Ion ltr on! Loving my mum.. Thanks for sending me to school at 9.35am when my test is at 10am just cuz i woke up late.

What more can i ask when i have a loving mum. (: Thank You Daddy God..

& to KAR!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I know Abba Father have a very great plan for you this year! Have a very awesome year girl! (: i love you! Thanks for being a joy to many & meee!


Ohhhh my favourite word is now:
Rahhhhhhh.
Okay byeee! :D

SHUAI!

My new love (:
HEEHEEE.

会唱歌，会弹琴，会吹长笛...
hohohoho. shuai!

said this so so so many times but i wont get tired of it,
i love people who can sing!! :D

Here is love

Here is Love
Pour out so freely
Here is Love
That captivated all of me on calvary

Here is Love, here is Love and here is Love... My Love is here, the love i have been looking for, covering and following me everywhere i go..

I may ignore the existance of this Love, but i cannot deny the fact that the Love is w me..

Thank You for the love. (:

i just want you

I Just want you & Take all of me just played on the playlist..

Really irritated by this thing that has been happening, and after being irritated for going 2 weeks, i shall just give in to it and bear with it. & overcome it. I shall be an overcomer than keep running away from it. 

Had this weird dream just now... Some weird demonic creatures chasing after me. Not that it's the first time, but this time i feel a little stronger and braver.. & then it's in SP campus, then there's this forest, and then Joshua joined me.. then i went into class to study.. then all of a sudden, im out of that forest, and i see 2 cute little kids a little lost, 1 girl and 1 boy but the girl was older. Maybe she's 3 4 years old, but the boy 2 years old? got onto this van where idk where the uncle previously assessed by a devil, but maybe a little better, bringing us to idk where. just wanted to get out of that weird scary place, especially w 2 innocent young kids with me, and i was hugging them tight. & i woke up to study my UCCD. 

Having weird dreams.. always do.. maybe it means something, esp w things happening around, or maybe i think too much.. one day i need a dram interpreter.. Daniel or Joseph in the bible, come back alive and interpret my dreams! or okay, i dont need them, i just need God.

Maybe i know, it's a hint to be stronger..

One thing that i need..
is You. Let me never let you go...

End of year 2 tmr

Time flies like boomz.
Tmr's the last day of Year 2 in SP. and soon, we're all heading to intern and then woohooo, end of my SP life.

i actually like the idea of ending my SP life, but maybe i will miss my classmates.
Having UCCD paper tmr, and im feeling sleepy. should i sleep first, then wake up to study like later on? okay shall do that. my brains works better when im more awake.

4 more test to the end of everything..
UCCD, FM, HRIS lab test, RM.

Praying that i will do well... esp RM, i dont wanna forward anything pls...
okay. that's all. go to sleep and study afterwards! (:

感谢你

曾经以为我自己只有我自己
回头才发现你并排的脚印
感谢你在我身边属于我
我也想还你一样的感动

Hohoho. I think all projects are over? i guess so... NCM is like the last project. RM is completed.. T&D presentation is over.. Wow.. Thank God. (:

Sometimes it seems so scary and real.. But maybe it's like a psychological thing.. Maybe one day i should go to the psychologist to check out, hahaha. But oh well... maybe it's just a test i need to go thru.

Been chionging shows like Si Shen Shao Nu and Love buffet recently.. haha a little bad ah.. But i ran today, at least im happy bout tt. having withdrawal symptoms from twitter.. maybe one day from this blog too. This is so seasonal again. hahaha, but till im happy w myself and twitter, then i will twit more. for now, let's blog.. (:

感谢你在我身边属于我..

This Vday is gonna be just me and my HR lab test, and... God. 

I don't need a valentine honestly. I don't need to prove anyone a valentine is what i need, i just need to be myself. Enjoy Valentines people, with your special valentine (; Vday is one day where singles will be envious and look at couples and say, "go be happy w your other half, while i enjoy it alone". But there's another group of singles, "Enjoy this day while i enjoy it another way.." & yeah.. im just gonna be happy w myself and w God... :D 

Seasons...
Some seasons may not be the season you want, but what can you do? Just get the best out of it. (: & you can find joy..

You chose to..

You chose the cross
You chose me
Though i did not deserve
You chose me..

Many things are by our choice. We meet this certain situation, we have choices to choose from. We can do A or we can do B, and it is up to us. But different choices leads us to different outcome.

He chose us, because He loved.
He made this decision purposely, because He knows the outcome.

Finally i come to this place where i realise why people do things they wanna do.. But my word, my bond. People been there, done it, but i don't wanna be the same. i wanna emerge over it, but my choice on what to do next...

Make your right choice..
Am i willing to make my decision purposely?

core

Even if you keep building up, but your core is not strong enough.. you will fall.
Build up your core...

But what will you do when you know your core is weak?

But another thing..
Even if your core is well built, you still got to keep maintaining it well, or it will fall too..

Life is a building process...
We can fall easily if we dont maintain or do the right things.. Be careful and guard your life..

也許

Vday is coming yo!
but this is the first time i don't feel anything about vday even though im helping out at the HR Vday thingy.. haha, but it's fun to help people! Sitting infront of MLT12 means i can people-watch(HAHAHA) and i can meet all my friends in SB! awesome.

Another season of my life... Got reminded by Kelvin, God have a great plan for me. last 2 words hit me, "remember that". Always remember....

Just read Exodus, most of it mentioned about pure gold.
"Gold, the most malleable and ductile of all metals."


okay, thinking if i should go school early tmr to help w the HR booth.
Sleepy now, watch my love buffet and sleep soon.
nights all~

誤會

像一顆星 以為戰勝黑暗
像一陣風 以為站在雲端
就像你我之間那些深的淺的期待
也許 全都是誤會

也許陽光 沒想過要慷慨
也許雨水 只為自己灌溉
就像你我之間那麼精彩的遺憾
也許 全都是誤會

///////

After watching 爱似百汇, hoho i got different criteria of the future.
Ah Yi is like super nice in the show... so far la, but oh well. i dont need someone to be so loud and popular and happy all the time. but someone always there. tt's all! Pure love and not so complicated!1

I likely the show alot! Yan ya lun my favourite person now! hahaha i feel like some retarded secondary school girls chasing after fei lun hai.. but im not k!

Nice show, i suggest you people to go watch it! :D
I will rewatch the show again! hoho! :D

cny

nope this is not a recent pic but a very old picture... hahah. during 2008.
Oh gosh when i'm still skinnier than now. when jy is fatter than me cuz she's eating butter. hahahhaa.
okay, time to go on my plan DEFG plan! plus one more, sleep early... it's proven, if you sleep late, you get fat easily. and tt's what's happening to me. oh gosh.


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

have a great new year ahead..
and the best thing about this season, visitation and spending time w my family.
yeahhh~ gonna be awesome tmr... and i think i will hear comments of, "xinying, ni fei leeeee..."
Okay, so xy go lose weight pls. thanks alot.

PROJECT TIME! :D
byeeee

How are you?

Just so random, on the train and i was thinking... Iszit it nice if someone smses you everyday and ask "Hey!!! How are you?"

Okay but guys dont this to girls everyday cuz its wrong, randomly can la. But yeah, its good to have friends around who cares...

How are you friend, the one in front of this screen now? (: