Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you
Thinking of ways to phrase my words.
But everytime i try to type something, it doesn't seem right.
What happens when you have a very very heavy heart, and you just wanna smash it into million smaller pieces so it will just become lighter? dont like this feeling...
Going into a phrase of life and being shown new things doesn't mean God have changed. It just means, God is a good God and He wants to bring us to a brand new level.
Believing in this.
MOVE ON XY. MOVE ON.....
but before this..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It's really not about the quantity of time that we have then we are able to be productive, but it is the quality..
24 hours in the day and we find ourselves being limited. We can have lesser sleep to have more time but that's not the main point. the point is, what are we doing with our time that we have, is it quality-ly used.
& it's not about how long you known someone, but how much time you quality-ly used to know someone.
& it's not about how long you have been in church, then it means you are of a "good quality"
What determines a relationship is not about the quantity of time spent tgt, but quality time..
Quality = how many percent you put your effort in
Quality is not Quantity.
Feels like its back to business studying about some organisation.
but really, everyone dont have alot of time.. but i really want to make full use of my time, quality-ly.
quality-ly = a new word i made.
There's a fire that burns in me..
Back to quality time with You.
Making full use of the time that's passing by so quick..
Dont wanna waste it anymore.
Sometimes i wonder why rainbow doesn't have purple... but i realise actually indigo and violet is somewhat purple, but its not purple. but i still like the shades of it. So its quite confusing to actually differentiate purple indigo and violet.
SOT's ending in another 2 more months, and i want it to end but dont really want it to end.
Soaking everyday in the presence of God, but yet somedays feeling so tired in class.
Friends i made them, but yet things i got to go through.. Balance... not bad not bad.
Weeks ago, Dr AR Bernard was just saying, we cannot say no one understands, because really He's our support system, He understands...
Breaking of this bottle, breaking of the oil. breaking of this stone, of this heart. sometimes i just wanna go thru all at once, but dont think i am that strong to go thru all at once. But seriously, its time to end SOT to head out to the world and do something greater.
SOT's really not the end, its just the beginning. Really cant wait yet reluctant...
Gosh, it's just a here and there thingy. something i want, yet i dont want.
GOT TO BE DECISIVE YO.
But above all...
I know He have a greater plan. (:
Okay, better leave office soon.
Give me hope Give me Your hand Lead me to the highest rock...
Very very nice song i heard while working in the Finance Dept.
& now sitting at new dept, having my own space, own personal time. Just so peaceful and nice..
Haven't been alone for a long time, sitting down, just thinking and breathing..
Just to breathe and catch up with my thought... makes me feel happier.
What you may see on the surface, might not be how it is.
Time to really catch up with myself.
& it may sound stupid, but it's true some of us can forget spending time with ourself and we get so caught up in doing things that we forgot what we truly want. & if we're too busy to even catch up with ourself, what makes you think you're catching up with God.
Time to catch up with myself, and catch up with God.. Back to walking with You. Not just standing or sitting, but to continue walking..
Tug of war starts, both parties starts pulling.
Worse case scenario: the rope's too vulnerable/thin and suddenly it snaps and both parties fall and injure themselves.
Feels like it's a "tug of war" now.
Okay back to sermons..
PREPARE SERMONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
10 sermons 10 sermons and im still stuck at 1. O-N-E.
ONE.
Your Love is not superficial..
A Love that is true, not fake, not hypocritical, and one that i wont run away from.
Not being flakey, but Thank You Jesus..
Time to fill my head w stuff, time to continue this journey.
Preaching test, book reviews, 10 sermons.
& 3 more months of SOT, time's passing too quickly, dont really want it to go away so fast. Time please stay...
1 more week,
His grace is sufficient for me.
Time to breakthru...
What love is this, That You gave your life for me And made a way for me to know You And I confess You're always enough for me You're all I need
Finally found the song im looking for!
As i look back, i never ever regretted coming to CHC.
Persecutions came but this is the place where i spent my happiest times, finding who God is in my life, my purpose, my friends and more and changed me from someone i wouldn't want to be to someone i am now. I can't imagine where and what I'm doing if I'm not here. This is my family. Despite what the world chooses to say against us, there's this sense of unity and i am thankful that i am with this group of people and the love they have. The love that truly overwhelm when you step into the House...
& im just so blessed to be in SOT every single day esp this period of the whole saga.
I know He's more than enough for us, & all i wanna say, i will be here till the day i go to Heaven.
People may say we're foolish, stupid, useless, but tt's right!
God uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise and im so thankful He is here for us. Be glorified in the midst of all this happenings!
& I am thankful for this family too, W524 i love you!
JUST FOR LAUGH
In braces & HAHAHAHAHHAAH JINGYING
This is what we rlly call, from glory to glory...
So i was looking back on blog posts and i found this on the first time i went to join W459
"service and everything else was good. the workshipping part also! but still... mum objects us to go church. now daddy goes church and mummy dont like. but i dont know if he's still going la. but still, if i go church, my grandma, my aunt and everyone who is helping my mum will object and cfm alot of scolding. okay, i shall wait till i grow up. 20, when i have my freedom! hoho."
So much for waiting till im 20, im 20 now and im changed. :) Blessed to actually look back on things like this.
Today i say a prayer Come and make me whole When I'm overwhelm Your Love reaches me..
So thankful for Pst Mike Connell this whole week.
Being set free and being able to pray for other people in SOT, felt a breakthru somewhere within, and i pray... Let the breakthrus for this whole season start.
Time really flies in SOT, i really dont want SOT to end so fast, because it's really a season where im so busy yet, i am happy in what im doing.
Time to truly truly embrace this whole season and treasure the time left. How i wish SOT could last forever, but time still moves on.. but Xy, dont get too busy till you forget what you're busy for...
& I am just so thankful to be able to head down to e beach (FINALLYYYY) just to spend time w the cg and get tan. Free blusher for the next few days, yay. no need for make up. & PC show w bro & jy, and dinner. happy me :D
Gonna be a busy month of chionging bible reading and book reviews and preaching test and camp and exam and lots of thing, BUT by His Grace, all things are possible.
Beneath my feet was once a valley, BUT NOW I Stand...
Romans 12:1-2
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking"
The only way to deal with your character problems, or troubles is not to overcome but have victory over it.
Reading Romans, and it talks so much about "Embracing".
Time to embrace what God is doing, and Him taking over. :)
And i will never run away, even if im the worse person on the world.
Sin vs Grace, grace wins hands down.
Thankful for this very fact. :)
& Liang Wen Yin's a very good singer. :D
Sometimes i just feel chinese songs have more emotions than english songs.
So thankful to be able to go to LWY & CWQ's music concert with Team 10. The fellowship and talks, thankful to be in Team 10! :D
So i will sing,
i love You God,
I worship You...
You never leave me God,
So i say,
I live for you.
(Song written by Gary!)
Coming to a place of total abandonment is not easy...
But to know it is not by own strength for total abandonment but by His strength... That is the point of change.
Total abandonment comes to the place of rest.
Rest of God is a dwelling place, an inheritance He wants to give us, a promise He's giving... and a place where He decides and choose to dwell...
Place of Rest...
Never easy to get there, but when i get there, i rest... and trust in You and love You..
4 days of Dr Robi was so tiring yet so inspiring, so good. :)
Nowadays i just cant find the words to fit in how i feel, lost for words or maybe i just need to increase my vocabs hahaha.
sick for the 2nd week alrdy, AND I WILL BE MADE WELL.
But thruout all i am so blessed, by the people around, so humbled by my team members when all of them are older and in some ways mature than me yet they listen and care for me & loved me. Dr Robi says to be thankful and really i am so thankful for everything now.
& Thankful for friends in SOT! Doubt they will see it, but thank you for making my life in sot exciting! Thank you Ivan, Sab, Tim, Paul, JD, Shihan, Weiling, LCM, Eunice, Olivia, Kweikee & Estherr and moreee. :)
With Spring 4th coming soon, TL duties, BV practs, CG stuff, and increasing things coming in, Jesus be e center of it all... Dr Robi cfmed almost all the stuff i was thinking for the past week and i was so amazed. TYJ for being here...
On to the next season of my life, busy it may be, but there are always compartments, always priorities to make space, make time for things. Wisdom and grace in this season. :)
Trust is something so so fragile, that once its broken, it can never be pieced back together. Unless a miracle happen. hahaha.
So back to serious matter, just so scary to see how people be someone yet they are not that someone and then they become something scary. *if you can even follow what im talking about*
Oh God... I just pray, i dont have to wash clothes for another 2 months plus again. i really dont have the time to do so... k maybe its not so much able washing the clothes, but more of the impact..
Trust,
i say again... and will again..
one word,
yet deep meaning,
yet so impt,
and i can go on and on and on again..
Just so so precious.
Treasure the trust people give to you once he/she opens up. Dont break it, dont hurt it, dont damage it.
Treasure it...
Just like His grace..
Treasure it, dont break it, dont do anything to hurt it.
So many things to treasure.. But dont treasure and keep the foolish things.
What happens when actions don't match with the words. Which one will you look at?
Olivia shared something on Thurs and it really reminded me. When i can't see it, xy... Remember.. Be at peace, be at peace. Rainbow is my promise... Whatever placed in the sky have a purpose.
The key to the next doorway of breakthru is in my hands. Time to really step out of all this confusion and move on to the higher call.
Was thinking of "liberty, freedom" during worship on Thurs and Pst Ming cfm-ed the word of liberty. In the Spirit of God, there is no confusion, no whatever, but liberty, freedom. With the Spirit..
Sometimes i wonder how i can cope with work, school, the team and all.. and i realise, i really cannot do it well enough but rlly thank God for His grace so far. To work, to chiong here and there. & when im at the end of my ability, Abba Father will take His place.
I dont google for the answer for my problem.
The only answer i should get from is You..
Jesus, take the wheel...
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