Brighter

Some are brighter, some are dimmer.
& when others are brighter,
some chooses to just dim off.

Which one are you?

When everything changes

Things don't last forever, and everything changes.

But when everything changes, He won't change.

Okay, cherry tomatoes are making my ulcers hurt.

Having a movie marathon with Jy today. I seriously seriously love our room, heee.

Went Marina Barage today, flew a kite first time in my life, and there's a time to pull it, a time to let go. Just like life, time to pull things close to you in case it falls, and time to let go of things so that when it gets so tight it will just snap. I got to learn this, but of cuz, i need the wind (the flow of the HS) to do the pulling and letting go, if not it will be a total failure.

I love Singapore, and this is the place i'm gonna stay. Thank God for a peaceful and prosperous nation for us to be in, and i really just pray it will stay like this and even better.

I really like fireworks, and i like the kites in the skies just now. Just by staring at it, it makes my day. (: Thank God for everything.

Fireworks are pretty, it sparkles alot, but it wont be there forever. Just like a lot of things. So God i pray everything in my life wont be just like a firework anymore, i don't like a one time boomz thing, but something permanent.

I think i'm quite a demanding person, haha, but if you know what i'm after, you wont think i'm that demanding.

Gift of assess to one's life is really precious, but when people give them to you, do you know they are actually giving this gift to you? Are you observance enough? or do you just turn them down?

& sometimes i think im a very difficult person to get along with. hahah joke.

Thoughts thoughts thoughts.

Gonna have pictures up soon, Thank you Jas & Joelynn for posting them up, & thank you Joel Yeeliang Weisiang Kit Karuna Jingying Joshua Joelynn Gary Jasmin for the awesome day! :D

God bless you guys! (:

Random stuff

=> I cannot talk/ speak properly (Thanks Jy for reminding me)

=> I cannot tell people properly how i feel due to the above reason + bad vocab

=> I hate conflicts.

=> I dont like public speaking unless necessary.

=> Sometimes i decide to blend in the crowd, i learned to do it in poly. woohoo.

=> I got sun burn on my ear & i peel it and it hurts

=> I got sun burn on my neck and it hurts too

Heeee. Tt's why i think i express myself best on blog, but not really.

Cause people might twist my words and feel that i'm another type of person.

World is so complicated.

Simple world with simple minds, i want it that way. (:

I need to focus more on the positive nowadays,

Jy knows why. If not i will seriously go crazy.

My running plan officially starts since i forget when, but it's time. Even if my legs turns all to muscles, i must do it!!!! yeah. but i pray not too ugly. TyJ.

Inside out of my soul cries out

Time seems to pass so fast.

I seem to like the feeling of staying home so much more, and the thing of not going out makes me happy. I feel i'm getting more anti-social serious. Not a good thing huh.

Maybe one day the quiet thing will totally suit me. hahaha. i rock seriously. :D

Had cgm today (awesomeeee, combined w W327 @ Rayvin's place), fellowship, came home and went for my run. & came home and nua-ed, dad's quotation. and on and on.

This is why i like holiday really.

Time to reflect what happened in this 2010, it seems to pass so quickly that idk what happened, but one thing i know, i grew up. Grew up and out of so many things. maybe i grown a little worse, but maybe a little better. contradicting. People come in my life and left it. Digging back of the past, and then healing the past hurts, and so on.

Best thing this year is really i grown closer to Him, better than last year and i know the years ahead, i will be so much closer.

We always need this love check, to check if we're loving our friends, family, classmates, everyone around us more. Cause if we're loving them more regardless of what they are doing to make us angry or not, it means we're growing healthily in the HS.

Love is the indicator.

Love....

Love love love

I really thank God for this season, where i can learn to love, in all areas.

He answered my prayer and in abundance. what an awesome service today, all about hope being anchor for our soul. Rmb all the times Jieying spoke about this word, and God's presence will just come during worship.

God is good. (:

Just remember about everything that happened during the interview all the way till we lost by half mark. we didn't lose, but we won. We won something that money cannot buy us, we won the love we have for each other. Love just flow into my heart when i sang, i know His purpose. heee.

I got burned thru out this 2 days, but at least it burned out something else. Glad to see all the stars and made new friends with the crew. Showbiz is not a place i wanna be for sure, all the things behind scene, no patience, hate the make ups and totally no interest w mixing around there... hahah, but for a one time experience, i dont mind.

Thank you Kelvin our best ZS for calling after the whole of the competition! :D

Thank God for everything.

Well, definitely an adversity, and i chose to believe in something that leads to bad consequences, but thank God for the disputes that changed my thinking. What a word in season.

All things work out good for those who love Him.

Love herrr! Asha Gill! Awesome lady!!
never gonna tie this hair again.
on the best w pornsak, camera crews and sentosa worker and Rose and family~
THANK YOU SANDRA FOR LOVING US AND TAKING GOOD GOOD CAREEE OF US!
& Pornsak, awesome host and person! :D
Awesome woman too, fierce but veryy niceee! :D

& so manyy others like Rose, Kenny the director, Chris the camera man, Damian the production manager, Bryan the internship, and others.... Awesome people in this showbiz. at least good memories. Thank God for them! :D

Cookoff

I think this competition is really the will of God, if not He would have answered my prayers from the start. & just nice, Chris agreed to let me change the day of counselling session. Is this God's will or what..

Okay so i concluded, all things really work out for those who love Him.

& i know this season is a season of building and restoring.

So many things to build this time...

& i experience so many new things too.

Time to replenish more of my sleep, slept for 4hours just now, tmr 5am must wake up alrdy. gosh... okay all the best tmr. :D

Show me Your heart.

God asked Jeremiah,

"Jeremiah what can you see?"

Twice He asked & Jeremiah responded what He wanted him to see.

God asked Moses,

"Moses what can you see?"

Twice too, He asked & Moses responded what He wanted him to see.

& the results are the same, God explains to them what they have seen.

He showed them His heart.

One day He will ask me too...

"Xinying what can you see?"

I wanna see what He wants me to see :D

& how awesome is it for Him to call you by name, when there's like millions of other ppl like you.

Going thru the motion

Every tears we cry builds us up.

Heee, i think i went thru a tough month last month, and now i'm managing well. i guess, but i know after praying and letting everything out, it's so woohoo.

My month just offically started and I'm starting on a good month now, August is gonna be a good month, then sept, then my favourite Oct.

Tmr's the family cookoff thingy, we pass and win, we get in semi finals. part of me wanna get in, another part doesn't. but oh well, it's my family, and i want what God wants us to get. In the end, it's not about the fame, the prize, but the experience and memories my family get together, and i will never forget this period of time, coping with so many things, project, filming, friends birthday and outings, church, and then so many stuff happened. lol.

It's not about why i wanna stress myself with so many things, i have a choice to let them go, but i choose to hold on to them, cause they are impt stuff to me. :D

Well, i guess during this time i learned how to cope with disappointments alrdy, but i know i will be tested in this area again, i haven't pass His test with A yet.

Got to wake up at 5am the latest tmr, reaching sentosa at 6.30am. So many first times this year.

So to those feeling suck-ish about your life, i feel it too. Life sucks at time, but we got to still live it for another 50 years? We're not even halfway, and we havent go thru the most terrible parts yet. Embrace life and let's get stronger tgt. We can all do it.

I love you Fionaaaaaaaaa!

Hope you see this! :D

HOLIDAY IS NEAR, but i have to complete my blaw first.

JYJY everyone. (:

Every tear is also captured in the bottle, He collects them.

You have placed eternity into my heart

that i like,

the sky...

the stars...

the rainbows...

the rain...

the sun...

the clouds...

Cause every time i look up to the sky, these things signifies so many things in my life.

Skies is the limit, nothing is impossible.

tired

I'm done with RWPS report and the Love relations ppt!

gosh, so tired, and i have like blaw to go, maybe i should do it tmr instead or else i cannot wake up tmr.

These few days are so tiring that i wanna take a breathe but i can't. One comes after another.Sometimes i feel like running away, but i really can't. there's projects to complete. you run, come on, gg. Then when it's so tiring already, then comes another few more shoutings and screamings after a good and peaceful time, wanting to just spend the time to complete the projects.

But yeah, another phase of life to learn, i guess this is what He wants me to learn this year. Really, idk how to conquer it, but God will give me the grace, i dont want to hate life, i want to embrace life.

"Everyone goes through a period of unknown... you think you know so much but in the end do you really know. It is just like how much you want it yet you know there is no way you can achieve it. Sometimes wouldn't life be much simpler if we try to seek the inner peace within ourselves? Cast away everything, sit down quietly and reflect, what is it that we really want. The pace of our life just keeps moving, time will not wait for anyone. But why is it that we keep using time as a yardstick, to tell ourself that this is the time to do this, to do that, if we don't hurry we are going to be late. All these constraints only make us become more and more unaware of ourselves..."

quote quote from Brother Lim. inner peace... i just want peace.

Thank God for brother lim on saturday and today. I feel that in this family, my character is the most similar like him. Thanks Brother for telling you love me when everything is not going right, your encouragements and things you share. & just walking w me even if i don't talk. I know you're not going thru a great time either, so let's go thru this tgt. (: i was just telling God a hug is what i need and then brother lim just hug me and tell me he care for me, just so touched, by him and Him.

I wanna be stronger, tears wont bring me down,

and live life smiling even if it's painful.

cause i know there's always someone there to tell me to 加油！

Sometimes all i need is just 2 words.

One thing i desire

Nothing compares to the Promise i have in You.

21 years going strong.

3 years and going on.

Blessed to be change.

Changed to be a blessing.

Structure

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER LIM! :D

Idk if you will see this but, happy 24! All the best in your life and whatever you do. Your sister supports you in everything you do :D

& i think today is LZX's birthday also, so coolz.

& Iphone 4G coming out today? idk.

What a day with so many things happening. Gonna be a good day!

Today is a very very sleepy day, woke up late and head to school with my brother, and he keeps talking about which Uni i should go in, worse than my mama, but i know he wants me to have a bright future. Future seems so far, but actually it's very near. Local Uni, or SIM, 2 choices. what about no Uni? Nvm, think about it next year...

-So thank God my attendance was marked.

- Practise Psycho with Priya

- Went to Raffles for Mr Bean.

- Walked in the rain to where i wanna go

and everything took up to 1 hour plus. so sleepy, i pray i won't fall sick.

Waiting for Kit, and then spend time with her (:

& FOP. YAY, i need strength God.

So now i should do my RWPS. But i'm so sleepy.

I keep having weird dreams these few days. What you're truly thinking are portrayed in your dreams? Okay, then i think my thoughts are going crazy, circling in only one area. yoooo. i'm not emo-ing. haha. Time to breakthru!!!

Human's mind are like a structure, not secured, easily broken.

True?

FOP, breakthruuuu! I had my first breakthru 2 years ago at FOP. (:

Cave & Valley

Really blessed when i read people's blogs, it just spoke into my life. haha.

I think the vision of God is so cool.

2 weeks ago, God showed me this vision of this rock blocking my pathway to my next road, i try so hard so hard to push it one side and managed to see the other side. I thought i saw this valley & i will be going into it & i sink myself into that vision and thought it was what He wanted me to do.

But ytd, He showed me more. The valley is not a valley but a cave. When you walk in a valley you can get out cause there's light, but when you go into a cave, it's so dark you can't see light. He didn't want me to walk in there. He intended me to push the rock to block the opening of the cave, and behind that rock is another way. He provides with ways, but sometimes because of our own view, we skipped the another road He created.

Of cuz you wont know what the rock and cave means.

Haha, but God is so cool, He showed me everything last night.

So worth it to sleep at 4 plus to know where i'm heading. (:

Projects again.

RWPS & BLAW.

Last 2 project remaining and the most stressful ones.

15 pages of RWPS report by Sat/Sun & Blaw by next Friday.

Almost screamed at home just now, esp when jy played noisy music, cannot concentrate at all and bizhew telling me how stressful everything is and the deadline and boomz, stress, after a very long time.

Thursday - Spastics 29th

Friday - FOP

Saturday - Filming whole day + FOP maybe?

Sunday - 21th anniversary

Weee i need to find my time to do my project seriously and not shortchange my sleeping time, and why am i even here now?!!! where is my time flying to? God i pray for more time, exceeding the 24 hours.

Thank God for worship songs that calm me down, and instead of screaming around the house, i completed my Reflective journal and 5 6 pages of report. (:

Xyyyyyyyyy, it's time to give up.

Just give up that thoughts and be a good girl.

You can do it.

When i feel helpless about situation, the only reaction should be prayer, instead of worrying much. Everyday, i wanna change all my bad points slowly and slowly, cause sometimes i feel so imperfect that there's nothing good. Am i having the perfectionist disease? nah, xy will never have it. hah.

Broken & Contrite Spirit,

Having the lamb nature,

Attracts the HS.

JYJY.

freedom

"What am i really looking for?"

"You're looking for something that will make you happy. Choose it yourself, cause i know what makes you happy, will make me happy. I trust you."

The trust that everyone wants, the spirit of liberty.
That even if we do something wrong, someone is still waiting and staying beside us.

Everyone needs that someone to be there. (:

I got that someone.

korean songs

I'm falling in love with korean songs. lol, thanks to Bizhew!!!
This song super super touching. go hear! hahaha, best for people who just 'shi lian'. hahah.

Currently at RW, doing my blaw, but kinda have no motivation, gosh.. i need my motivation back! hahah.

On the way here, i was thinking about the vision i saw 2 weeks ago, and it completely matched my situation now, definitely it's all God's work. But yeah, i will go thru it, and conquer it.

Jieying told me emotions are good, Weiren in BS says emotions are good. But dont let them control you. So yeah, control my emotions, so they will be good slaves of mine, instead of my masters. yeahh!

Jieying tweeted:
@jieying_dawn I love all the little moments in life...and I'm glad I get to watch and capture them :)

Little moments changes my life. I love them and i take them down by pictures.
I got so much more to learn from everyone around me, esp my leaders. xy, it's time to move on, time to humble yourself, and not be at the same place. God is making a way for you!

You're not there yet, but it doesn't mean you will never be there. (:

& BINGRONG IS SUPER SUPER IRRITATINGGGGGGG!!!

yeah that's all.

byebye!

@ macs

The mac where you can use the com and drink something.

wooo, i think it's just nice to relax and not think about any things at all. Just time alone alone. long time since i did it alrdy!

I bought tickets at 6bucks! weee cheapest ticket in a very long time. 'Despicable Me' later on, like finally!!! yay.

This is just a very talk to myself post. heee.
ONEW IS MY NEW LOVE. :D
Bizhew just let me hear SHINee songs the whole day and i like 'Life' and 'Your Name' and Onew wrote Your Name. Simple lyrics yet so sweeet and nice!!! Any guys who wanna make girls their gf, sing them the songs they wrote.

okay maybe not. go learn korean first.
i was just joking la.

oh this is random, but dont judge me by how i type okay okay?
Beneath every picture, lies something deeper than what you can see :D this goes for everyoneeeeeee.

okay, shall enjoy my milkshake and wait for the others to come :D

how awesome is your name

Sometimes all we need is not more knowledge to make us a better person. We just need reminders to remind us what we should be.

School is alright so far, love relations class was super funny looking at the guys present about love. LOL seriously.

Dajie accompanied me to dover today cuz she's working there now, woo, if everyday she can pei me to school, how awesome. & i thought it will be a good day today, until something happen again. Maybe it's time to think deeper than the surface.

Haha, catvhing Despicable Me ltr, gonna be awesome i guess!
Grace to the rest of the day!

Running to Your arms

This was last year somewhere in July. All of us changedd!

Watched The Killers just now, wanted to watch in the cinema that time but no one wanted to go, and too busy. haha, i seem so free when actually i got blaw and rwps on hand. xy what are you doing?

Haha, went to school for 1 lecture when i thought there were 3, but spent my time w bizhew at JP, so not tt bad. just now on the train back, i wanna sleep but not very peaceful. i feel sleepy alrdy.

Gonna sleep now!

Transformation takes time.

& things are changing even when we dont know it is changing

Just got reminded, when we get scolding for what we done wrong, that chastening. but if we get scolding for things we have not done wrong, that's a test of attitude.

School's gonna be awesome tmr! :D

Inception

From tumblr: @sarahtay! hahaha

You're waiting for a train,

a train that will take you far away.

You know where you hope this train will take you,

but you don’t know for sure.

But it doesn't matter..