Pictures in SOT so far...

Just for memory sake.. These are the pictures taken with my beloved team and friends. Thank God for every moment with them! :) Esp my team, to bear with my broken chinese, gosh.... if im them, i will be complaining, yet thank God they embrace. i count myself blessed.... (:

Many nights i pray..

Finally i can say bye or zai jian to M. orchestra for a while and get back part of my life. Really feel like super _________(cant find e word).

But it is a privilege to serve on Suntec stage. Look around the stage and hall today while i was playing and i realise e beauty. Love truly covers all.. So amazing at that moment the music plays and you hear e symphony of music and singimg blending and complementing one another. I guess heaven's gonna be super beautiful..

Okay, so i need somewhere to rant this.
Was carrying a tenor saxophone tt weights 6-8kg. 2.4kg laptop. 5kg of my heavy bag plus this smal paper bag. I was strugglimg so hard just to get back home. Soooooo heavy and i was seriously breaking, plus makeup & wearing a dress doesnt help at all.

Situations like this, i will pray for an angel to pop out to help me. But theres none, so i know i gotta do it. But what doesnt kills me make me stronger, go a little higher.

Just a 'heavy' trip home and i feel so much alrdy.
By Abba's love, 1 more week. All things are possible. His grace is sufficient.
Total reliance on You.. But of cuz w wisdom.

peaceeeeeee

One day, just one day.

i need my visit to the beach and listen to the breeze and waves... 

Just to chill.... 

W/o distractions from any other places, people or whatsoever. 

Always just good to have a getaway. 

and i think it's really cool just to travel alone overseas. 

NEED TO WAKE UP AT 6AM TMR. 

Xy go to sleep now. bye. bye. bye. bye. bye. bye. 

& old song....

Rely, trust, let God...

Relying..
Trusting..
Letting go..

"For He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast."

Elijah and his fervant, one prayer, thru Him. Amazing power brought out thru his mouth thru this Word.) I pray.... One day if i can, let this kind of anointing of spoken Word come to pass in my life. 

But into e tabernacle i will go, and go again. Aft all, even if i dont have it, at e end, nothing else shld matter more than Him. 

Trust God, let go, rely on Him. (: 

#todayword
#stillonawonderfuljourney
& if anyone's still reading this space, i have messy thoughts so yup, sorry!

True-ness

I totally have no idea why im here typing this post at 1.04am when im suppose to be sleeping.

but yeah, really just want to make it a point to write down a short thought or something so this SOT trip, i will remember some stuff in case my memory fails me.

Every single day in SOT is really truly a day of grace. Someone who used to sleep like a pig, (12 to 13 plus hours a day), and then just nua-ing at home doing nothing, a person who shut out of the world cause of internship.. & now being in SOT, then work till 8pm, then 4-5 hours of sleep everyday, surviving and not sleeping in class, starting to open to the world again. All i can say, God You are good. (:

"To be lost in Your presence, and worship You in the Beauty of Your Holiness..."
- I pray...

Break the yoke

"Break e yoke and let the anointing flow."
So privilege tt Pst Troy stopped and said these words to me.

Was brought back to this dark place when i see this little girl emoing one corner crying so hard and there was this fear. Just quite surprise to see tt scene again.

Another new week witb new challenges but i pray, Holy Spirit have Your way. You're greater than anything, every thoughts that seem "wrong", take it into captivity. No longer my ways, let Your will be done. (Something we repeatly say, but its never ciche cuz every single day, there is this need to crucify the flesh even more.

"i love my bed,
Its where i lay my head
I love my bed
It where i get my rest..."

Sing it in how awesome is this plCe tune. Hahaha i think im a pretty good composer :p

Time for lalaland.

Because of fear of trusting in people, some people tend to hide their "true self" up and allow tt mask to be who they want to be instead of being e person they truly are.

Thinking of acceptance recently, not e only thing I'm thinking but this is just so impt.

Acceptance by others is important, but acceptance from self is e most impt between e both.

Another thing.. One day Elise came to tell me something tt hit me hard, so true. God moves and He does it in a very amazing way..

"Don't let anything cover your Joy."

Time to truly reflect myself in e mirror and change to be the (wo)man He wants me to be.

Still... What a privilege to be in the HoG.. :)
A "Today" word.

brand new journey

Every step I take You will lead me
With You I walk this raging sea

Can't explain how bless I am to be in SOT despite ya.

Every word Pst Kong and Pst Kevin spoke this week was so wow. Haven't felt like this in a longgggg time.

Like what Pst Kevin said about discomfort.
Some of us tend to stay in discomfort and slowly becuz of no reaction, this discomfort turns to a comfort zone. But it's a dangerous comfort zone. But becuz we lack that ability to cry out and ask for help and have tt discernment to ask for change, we are stuck in tt so called comfort zone.

So thankful Pst Kev shared this.
It just reminds...

Gonna start work tmr.
Worthless things can go one side for me.

Good 4.0 GPA, SOT BV, TL, members tt bless me so much, and today, a new job at Church office. All I can say, God You are so good...

Come come come to the river

Heart just filled to overflow today.

Very very awesome service with Pst Bill Johnson today. What an awesome word, and everything is so in season.

Just told the truth jin tian, and the reaction/respond wasnt tt bad i guess.
I believe God is good. He is and He will forever :D

Focus during this SOT.
Focus, because it's not easy to get into my dream.
OH AND I GOT IN SOT BV!


PTL. God is good.... Praying for His calling to truly reveal in my life... (:

God's grace

Rlly by His grace the whole day.

Started with a "Wah you look very tired" from Hongyun today and then suddenly it hit me. Why am i tired when i am to rejoice in the house of God. At that moment i realise i need to change to the start of the day.

P&W was so awesome. Praising God everyday is not a chore but really a delight. People say when students go to SOT, they tend to be flakey. but i pray let this love not turn into something hypocritical but a love that is true, becoming more like Christ Himself.

Back to today, the whole day i didnt feel sleepy, and theology is so fun. SOT BV audition and i was like woah, 50 plus to 70 people joined the audition. Didnt practise the key in such a high tone until we went in for first round audition and it was like SO HIGH. but there was this grace that covers and helped with my weakness of high key. At that moment all i can say is God is good...

Managed to go thru 2nd round without screwing parts and melody up, and really... All by His grace.

But now, aft this, it's time for a change of prayer.
Father, i pray you guard my heart above all. An empty vessel for you to move and not my own filled vessel moving for myself.

Speaking and confessing, my breakthru is coming!
& i know it is!

Privilege

What a privilege..
But yet a time of expansion.

Thank you Abba Father for the chance, and this SOT im gonna be so expanded!
GO TEAM 10! Go xyyyy!

I will rise

"& i will rise
When He calls my name
No more sorrow
No more pain"

SOT's tmr.. and i'm really excited yet, a fear inside in me.
Abba Father is gonna lead me through and I know it.

Good news is that im a TL, but bad news is Weiyang Emily Schuman Gary all is too. That means all of us will be separated. But it's really gonna be a time of stretching and expanding of capacity.

I know before the start of every new breakthru, the devil will come and pull me down. But no fever, no flu, no running nose is gonna take me down this SOT. i am gonna rise this 7 months.

I want to be different and i want to be changed into a different xy. No longer I but Christ...
This is someting i really am looking forward to and i am enjoy the rest of it.
Jesus, take the wheel and lead me only as u can.. (:

Genting shots & Group pictures

Really love this picture alot cause it shows my love for strawberries! Just for memory here, all the nice few pics and group shots and "DP potential pic" of everyone 

Really think some of these pictures are so nice and picture worthy to be especially my strawberrty and except my zilian pics! *BHB*
but good trip out of Singapore and how time flies... Last Monday was my first day there and now im home. okay actually i love home more. :p

Personal space

Personal space is a super duper impt thing.

When i allow people to enter into my personal space, it means i rlly trust them. & once someone leaves tt zone, its just not easy to enter back.

Truly am thankful for just these few friends who are always there despite of many things.
Some seasons i choose to withdraw, some seasons to press in. But despite of seasons, they love.

Love covers all...

But another hand, i dont like people intruding my personal space.
Ice needs time to melt into water.

Anw GENTING TRIP WAS AWESOME.
Good break from everything. Shopping was good, company was great. Good prayer times, good bonding time. Love you all Elton, Dylan, Asher, Ashley, Nicole!

credit: google

Sometimes it's not about whether you're making an effort or not.
It's just whether there is someone who is willing to be there to walk this journey with you...

Be that person who talk the talk and walk the talk.

Building For Eternity

Just decided not to be lazy and try to at least update my life over here. Hahaha.

I think i have "split-personality" that on some days, i am chao ji high and tweet everything im doing. and some days i choose to keep myself in.

Internship is ending in just 1 week's time and it's really how amazing this 3 months have been. Really by the grace of God, and counting on i was blessed with lunch and other opportunities many many times. God is good, and my colleagues are really good too. :D

& Going on "work life"(internship) really makes me know who my real friends are.
For like first few weeks on internship i went on "depression" mode but this dear friend rescued me from depression and sacrificed to come to Tampines IKEA to talk to me.  & then Chung & Gary, thanks for wanting to come down to Tamp to meet me too. & Kito... <3

Sounds like appreciation day. LOL.

But thank God for friends. Good friends who rescues and lifts up my soul.

SOT is starting in 21 days. 3 weeks to be exact.
This is something i really wanted. so badly in this year. Lifting it all up to You...

Okay, feeling very weird blogging again.
Need to get back on this road. This journey... A journey of simplicity. Nothing else just Love. Even when the skies is dark.. I wont give up.

我知道因为你，我可以走完这条路。。

My life declare a brand new song

NEW 2012
NEW walk of consecration

Greater things ahead and i know it. No matter what, i will be at the Tree of Mamre waiting, but i know you will come. my breakthru will come!

My Author and Saviour. (:
Brand new song, brand new song.... (:

SOT MARCH 5... i cant wait.
Brand new song starts in 2012!

This is my Church,
This is my Life.


Had Candlelight service just now...
Got the flame from the front person and then i passed on the fire, but at that time, the person made my flame on the candle went out and it got me thinking. (not tt im blaming the person who made my flame died la)

Many a times, people might blow away or make our flame to go off from burning and we will have no more light and live in darkness. & this is the part, we must go back to the main source... To the main giver of light.

So thankful for this season of love.
Let love penetrate this season i pray...
Christmas must be something more.
2012 MUST be something more....

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me

A change a change a change

Internship started, was sharing during cgm there's this weird joy every morning, and i know definitely... it is the joy of the Lord, because all of it turned into strength.

2011 is ending and 2012 is coming.
Not gonna lose out on this chance during 2012, i know things will change and my breakthru marked on 10 dec will come. I believe i believe.... (:

Meanwhile, gonna enjoy internship, and gonna wait for my breakthru tt is coming QUICKLY.

building into eternity

Dejavu so many times today and I really know this PM is for me. Becuz God is always for us and for me.

This year is a major spring cleaning year. Cleaning all the doubts and dirty stuff and all and all that don't belong in "Xinying" body. Everytime I feel its the end, I realise new things popped up.

No wonder God said, 2011 is a "New year of New things".

Been thinking about eternity recently as well, just before PM and then Cynthia cfmed the word in my heart, and during br time, was reading about eternity. I am building Eternity w my Best Friend, I can do it.

An awesome prophesy today.
I trust and believe in it. Thanks Cynthia...

Found out the problem to my "everything"

This time I'm gonna work hard and change everything. & by the grace of God I can do it!

Recently this line had been appearing again and again. "as you walk thru the fire, you will be refined..." I believe in this, and I know if I still feel tt I am being put in the fire, it means I am not "pure" enough to be taken out of it. Yeah.

Went for a steambath at my old childhood place w mum and dad. Enjoyed tt kind of solitude where I get to sit alone, thinking of nothing, just enjoying myself and pampering myself. Life shld be like this. No more stressing and keeping myself from enjoyment. Everyone deserves a break at times! So every forenight, mum's heading there and I'm gonna follow. Hahaha. Gonna enjoy life but it's a different kind of enjoyment.

Being happy at all the changes yet getting refined every moment. I am so thankful and grateful now. This life I have is not my own.

He's the focus of my love ^^

Extrovert to Introvert

They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing .... On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates."

http://typelogic.com/infj.html

Just for self reference..
So i realise.. i may be an introvert for the longest time i ever know myself. hahaha.

Today's the 6th day.
Got to be stronger in everything i do.

Just spoken to a dear friend on the phone, some stuff is so hard to comprehend and tough to go thru especially when it's related to something close to your heart. Thank God for friends who are willing to share, people who are willing to tell something that's hindering them and release themselves from their hurts. Always admire such people like these... God bless them!

Maybe today, it's time to cut off these nails and restring my dear guitar and write my song. yay to guitar. Bye long nails. Havent left you so long since idk when.

Something about clouds tt i really love...
Simplicity and peacefulness....

Waitinggg

Let Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, be upon us, in proportion to our waiting and hoping for You. Psalm 33:22(AMP)

Wow... Amazing verse.
Let God's mercy and loving kindness be upon us in proportion to our waiting and hoping for Him.
The longer we wait, the much mercy and loving kindess will be upon us.. God is good, He will never ever let us wait in vain!

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength..

Ps 33:12(AMP) says "Blessed (HAPPY, fortunate, to be ENVIED) is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He has chosen as His heritage."
& blessed and happy whose Lord is God.

I am a HAPPY GIRL!! :D
JIAYOU TO THOSE READING THIS SPACE!
God's mercy and loving kindness is upon YOU! :D

Accidentally in Love

one of my favourite song.
old times....

Remember us

During pledging just now, just felt led to up the amount again.
To be honest.. i wanted to down it in the morning, but i decided to stay that amount. but when we started to sing again, i up-ed it.

Believing and believing.
Many of us sow in tear, but im believing that we will all reap in joy.
Something will change this season, as i start building and giving, He will build me to be a better and cleaner vessel. I trust in You....

Light of the World..

Light of the World

You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes, let me see

Beauty that made this heart adore you

Hope of a life spent with you

Here I am to worship

Here I am to bow down

Here I am to say that your my God

Your alltogether Lovely

alltogether worthy

alltogether wonderfull to me

King of all days

oh so highly exalted

Glorious in heaven above

Humbly you came to this earth you created

All for loves sake became poor

Ill never know how much it cost

to see my sin upon that cross

Light of the world who stepped into the darkness, to penetrate the dark.
Darkness is the absence of light, and He came.

In this dark period, His light will shine. I know He will shine so brightly. Idk how, but i trust..

Arise and Build

These 4 months is gonna be tough, or maybe the following 11months cause of BF and SOT.

But i trust God..
The amount might not be very big to other people, but to me, it is a very big amount, esp when my internship pay really is terrible ttm. An amount spoken to me ever since Pst talked about it, an amount that appeared in my dream.. The amount that was repeatedly in my head... I will trust and obey, when's there no other way!

Trusting God, Trusting my promiser instead of my promise.
Arise and Build here i come.

When God wants to build His church, the gates of hell shall not prevail.
My house is a house of worship. As i sacrifice and stretch myself this period, God will show Himself so real to me, i believe. My season. I believe, i believe...

Being secured

I guess i am really very very temperamental.. But guess i will come back here once in a while. :D

Was brought back to a book that i read 2 years back.
About being secured in Christ and knowing my position. Was thinking bout the same story about John the baptise and his disciples few days ago and Jieying shared it w me ytd.

Half a year.
I rebuilding and building it up. but the higher i go, the deeper the foundation. Back to the basics. Back to the ancient landmarks. Back to simplicity...

private

People who wants to find out what you're doing will go the extra mile to ask you "how you're doing". 

More than just tweeting, or facebooking and all... i really think social media is destroying this generation of communications. Yes it's good, but im gonna cut down and not relying on it so much. 

More than just typing it out, im putting all of it in actions. 

Showing love in a different way, and something more real... 

Doing something that i would like rather than something i dont like. 

This blog will once again be abandoned by me. ^^ 

Not that im emoing, but i dont trust social media. hahahaha. bye.

One year wiser.. w wisdom tooth

So true of the saying which goes,
"One year older,
One year wiser."

My wisdom tooth is coming out this year, IN MY BIRTHDAY WEEK.
So...
Wisdom tooth coming out -> Gum swollen -> face swollen -> affects eating -> Very hungry even with the most delicious food infront of me -> lose weight? i pray..

K so maybe i actually asked God that on my week i am gonna lose weight, so nv knew it would be like this.
So so so painful.

Just wanna blog this up. hahaha.
k bye!

Lights will guide you home

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones...

Today while washing clothes, okay my routine for 1 month plus... God spoke and said tell Mum i want to go SOT. and guess what, i was hesitating until mum said "if you keep on wait and wait and wait, you will never do it." Like woah, even God is speaking thru her somehow.

So.... i told her. "Mum i wanna go some course next year and i will pay it myself can?"
mum: what course?
me: some course ;)
mum: k i know what course it is alrdy.

Even though she didnt agree on the spot, she didnt reject me too. she just asked me to talk to my brother. somehow, i know i am so going there next year. God answers prayers. and for SOT, i've been praying since 2 years back. even without telling mum what course it was, she knew what i was asking for. This prayer will be answered!

This birthday present is coming true... I pray and i pray...
5 more days.... and im receiving my best birthday present ever. ^^

Embracing

If i dont embrace myself, 
Who will then embrace me for me? 

Start loving yourself.

New every morning...

Had avery rough day ytd cuz of miscommunications at work and kena got "chastening" at work. but the thing that my boss, Prof could actually smile at me after everything and say you need to work on communicating. Kinda encouraging aft feeling tt way, like she's encouraging me yet I was self-condemning myself. Thank God for grace...

Managed to surprise Jieying cuz is her birthday and yay we succeeded. and it brightens up my bad day. :D 

SOT for my Birthday present is more than enough!!
Working these 3 days, I handled more than enough cash(patient paying the doctor) that are able to pay for my SOT fees and I just realised today. I am gonna have more than enough $ for my sot! At least I have $340+ for this month's pay. Plus my internship and all, all will be good! I pray I have more than enough for SOT.

Still confessing for SOT!!!

Oh and goooood day spent w Angel.making me ready for SOT! Yeahhh.

Donkey

Was feeling so so extremely depressed over something today.
and i went on FB and read the story about the donkey shaking the sand off him and climbing out of the well.

If a donkey can actually be so smart and not depressed over being buried alive and thought of a better way of using those sands tt are supposed to kill it into something that bring makes it survive, xy can do it too.

WO KE YI. TADA.
suprisingly, this year im not even counting down to my bday. haha!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LEADER JIEYING. ;)

Instrument of God

Just like how a guitar is created to make music,
I am created to serve God.

Okay so tt was a sub-point of the whole thing i was gonna say.
Somehow or another, i became a cg guitarist. it's like a thing He spoke when cg multiplied like i could help out.. but nv do i know, when joshie go into army i got to take over praise as well. Like amazing how He moves..  Just practised the guitar for 2 hours to 3 just now thus, so late and im still awake.. But wherever God leads i will go..

2nd pt of the day...

Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Whenever new trials come, He starts removing the stones in our heart and slowly put back the flesh that the stones had been taking up in the space of our hearts. & with this, our heart gets even more fleshy and even newer that can be closer to the Spirit.. and new visions come becuz of the new Spirit.

But removing of stones is the painful part. But still i will hold on becuz of Gal 6:9.

So tired so tired nowadays, but I'm clinging on to the promise.
Bird-day in another 14 days? and this year the presents i want is not something money-ish wise. 3 wishes.
1) ____________ (Secret)
2) Family salvation
3) Go SOT next year w Mum's permission.

So anyone can bless me w SOT school fees that's good too ;)
$300/$3000 ---> saved 10% alrdy. Not bad for a start though. JIAYOU XY!

Okay.... No more reading & Let's see the very messy hair me.

 Sorry getting quite zilian nowadays. time to sleeeeeeep. NIGHTS :D