Simplicity

Starting to find more joy in the simplicity of life.
I like it when i get happy over something(either big or small) in a day and it just keeps me happy the whole day. Like today, just satisfying my ping-chat random talks 'craving' w very awesome people who replied me and entertained me & out w @kukunugget & @happydose makes me happy. hahaha.

Okay, confession to make, i get grumpy easily when i don't have enough sleep, and i will just keep quiet the whole day or just be very dao-er. So i pray in those days when i'm tired and grumpy, i find the simplicity of life, to love every single little thing going around me.

His creation, His love, the people around me.
The joy of simplicity!

Hatred, dis-likeness, judging makes it all complicated. Just love..

Went for service 3 last week, and Pst Mark preached this verse,

Psalms 27:4
One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.

Let's be the ONE THING person! (:
& i will be happy enough.

Praying in 2011, i will be a happy person who love simple things cause it's all around! :D

In classs

Hoho, my ranting post! Bear w meee!
In a lecture now & im having flu and cough.. Shld have eaten my flu medicine during the week but it will make me drowsy and then i cannot concentrate & just sleep.

Realise i nv notice much of David Cheong's ah ah ahhh~ alrdy, good job xy & i can multitask at this, typing & listening to him.

Im hungry and my stomach is growling very loudly.. :(

Okay i sound so not naggy and complain-sy, something i dont like. Dont like ppl complaining, so i shld cut down! Haha.
Praying tt today will be a short day where i can go home to rest & sleep, bt there's projs. Its pileing up alrdy, last 7 weeks to year 3!

Rm, T&D, HRIS, NCM, UCCD, u will be done very soon! & exam u too!

lost

Sometimes there are just moments you feel like you don't want to do anything,
and just sit somewhere, thinking why you feel the way you feel right now.

Not that i'm feeling emo or negative,
but time to think about life.

Life's good,
2011's 1st week is over, what's next?

The carpet seems to be my best friend now. (:

Okay, maybe i should get on to my bible reading and prayer now.
Time is impt, and things are happening.
Ahhh, my mind and things happening around makes me so nervous at times.

Sudden emotional tornado now,
feeling like this the first time, a little lost, a little confuse..
But it just seems that all i can do is to pray and love.
Expand this heart of mine God..

trust, easily broken

Trust, difficult to build up...
But at the any point of the trust, 

it can be easily broken too. 

Trust, a 5 letter word,

yet so so much to learn from it.

Got to have wisdom!

thoughts

I was just looking at twitter and facebook just now..
and this negative thought hit me on the spot, and suddenly all i felt was just giving up for this area just for that instance and it's not a good one.

Okay it didnt happen the first time already, maybe it's because my breakthru is coming!
Thoughts comes so sudden, but it's up to us to filter it away.

Filtering all the bad thoughts today and gonna keep going on!
Go xy xy xy xy!
Go everybody reading this post!!
God loves you! :D

i need you

So sleepy nowww. Dont know why my energy have been leaking away. Flu every morning...
but that's not gonna stop me! :D this is my ranting post. hohoho.

One of my resolution this year is to go home early and to stay at home more.
Have been doing it faithfully for the past 1 week alrdy. Yayyy.
Maybe i should start on my next resolution, GO RUNNING since im home more.
ahhhhhh. shake those fats off plsss xy.

okay okay i pray the project ends soon.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Testing

Trying out this new program on my iphone! Like coolz, easy to blog on the go..

I wanna change phone sooooonnn.
Let's just pray.

Reading about Noah today and one special thing... He found GRACE in the eyes of the Lord.

I want to be like Noah too, but i got to do more than now. (:

openness

Came to realise this thing, many people have different sides/views/opinions on who i am.
Not because i'm having split personality, or i'm 2 face or what, but i realize its just how much i'm willing to let that person know me or how open i am to that person. Actually it applies to everyone not only me.

To my Spastics, to my friends in church, to my leaders, to my members, to my parents, to jy, to my elder bro and sister, to my schoolmates, or to every different individuals, everyone know me for something, but it might not be the whole of me.

People can know us by, the crazy side, the quiet side, the responsible side, the smart side, the stupid side, the awesome side and so many many sides cause we chose to let them know this side of us.

& sometimes, we're more open to this person, and less open to that one, share this here, share this there and all.. All because of our choice to open up to a person. & sometimes we are just so afraid to share that we dont even tell anyone, and that's our choice too. Not just secrets but also just some character sides, like showing ur temper to others...

But i know at the end of the day, if someone cares to add all the sides we have and then starts to analysis them, he/she will get it, get who we truly are.

I also came to realise this one little thing bout me, or maybe most of us, we are so so bothered by other's opinion at times, that we try to be the very perfect glass ornaments, place on the glass cupboard, perfectly for the world to see. The higher we are placed, the more perfect we want to be, because one slight crack would cause others to pin-point us and we will feel so low self esteem or whatsoever. & we try not to move so much, cuz it might cause a big crack where people will notice it and we fear that we might be taken down from the shelf, without knowing that deep within, we might already be cracking.

So i made this decision, not to be so bothered by how other think about me, as long as i know i'm doing what the person up there wants me to do, and do it right, it's good enough. Cause in the end, it's not everyone who knows the whole situation and the true me, but Someone out there, who knows it all. I rather be me, then be who the world wants me to be.

Even if i do have a crack, an imperfection, i will come down of that shelf and be fix again, and then put me at at any part of that shelf i am at.

Reminds me of potter and the clay.

Okay, just random thoughts.
I dont even get some parts. I'm not a writer.. pardon me! :D
Still thinking..

I'm not very perfect, and i still have negative thoughts, but i'm gonna change them in 2011!
Finally, school later on!

the year

I just realise this year is the year,
where i'm gonna end my poly soon.
So fasttttt!!! :D

The thing about ending poly, is that i can go for SOT after that! :D
Just last Sat, when announcement was on SOT, i scream so loud as though as i'm going this year. But yeah, I AM GOING next year! :D

No matter what no matter what,
i know 2012 is gonna be awesome, cause i can go SOT!
Confessing for 2 years alrdy, and this is the 3rd year. AND NO MATTER WHAT, this year will be the year that great things will happen and path my way towards SOT! :D

Jiayou jiayou!

(edit)
i'm planning for SOT alrdy! SAVE UP XY!!!!!!!!
SOT SOT SOT SOT SOT
(/edit)

resolution

3 Jan now..
& i'm sick, but thank God for 2 days of mc.
out of 3 weeks of holiday which is not holiday, i got my extended holiday and got to rest at home.

weeee.
Resolution... so many of them this year..
But One i hold it close to my heart...

melted marshmellow

Marshmallow are awesome!

Just got reminded of it when Dorothy tweeted about it.
The perfect BBQ marshmallow (where you will go like OMG IT"S SO NICE)  is when you bite it, the skin is hard and crispy while the internal is soft and melted. & to achieve this 'perfect' marshmallow is to place it near the fire, where it's actually very very hot if you're using a satay stick only.

Right Position near the charq, with a skin that will only harden without burning away in the fire, a soft internal where it won't harden together with the skin, but melt each time the fire is heating it.

& the fire is the environment. Either we burn out or we burn up! & we adjust our position in the environment.

Like what Dorothy tweeted,
@dorbells: Be hard on e outside (strong in God), and soft on e inside(teachable), just like bbq-ed marshmellow!and it'll be good!

Thick skin, thin heart.
This is what we need to 'taste good' in the future.
For now, maybe i'm still quite hard in the inside, i need more heating up, and more molding and teaching.
2011 is the year for me. (:

Very blessed by Edwin Rae Jieying & Rayvin today.
The awesome leader couples over my life! Thanks for the blessing of meals, and of cuz the awesome company, Joel Angel Chung Boon & Val! Great fellowship & fei-lo-ship!

I'm open to changes and i receive my first and second change this year,
New thing.
But this is when i rely on Him even more.
I can do it (:
God can do it. :D

Happy 2011

Thankful for all the things in 2010,
but NEW things in 2011!

Had a confirmation word by Pst Zhuang today, and when he shared, all my fear and doubts fled.

One prayer this year,
a new spirit, a spirit more sensitive to the HS, and closer to it.
Breaking there might be, but come what may, nothing matters as long as He's here with me.

Greater things, greater things. (:

Thank you friends that had been in my life, being there, loving me for who i am.
Thanksssss.

Have an awesome 2011! :D

2010

When i look into the skies above, 
Wonder how my life have changed this 2010, 
Wonder how Your love came to me, 
I was so amazed.

4 more days to 2010....
This year i went thru quite alot of things i personally feel.
Additional stuff and stuff leaving my life, both good and bad..
New friendships, closer friendships, people whom i can share stuff with, friendship that got closer even more after conflicts and stuff..
Doing more for the zone, trying to rise up even more this year.. Leading P&W in zone meetings, more fasting and praying..
Going on TV show again, more time w family.. Blessings thruout the whole year, that amount up to alot..
Alot of breaking and molding, but i know it's still not enough..

So much stuff, but im believing 2011 would be a better one.
Can't wait for 2011, and am still believe my April 2011 is gonna be a very special month. (:
I hold on to Your promise. (:

Committing and surrendering is 2 different words.
My promise land is on the way.

My life your song

As the year is coming to an end,
i realise there's much to reflect on.

New goals, new resolution and new things coming.

Always love this verse..

Isa 43:19
"Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert..

If that is the music i got to face this upcoming 2011, God i'm alright, more breaking, more molding, i'm fine. I'm not gonna have any bad attitude, but a new wineskin to contain all the new wine. All i ask... Is for You to be with me. Nothing matters, except for You.


New thing... 

Merry merry Christmas

So many things happened these few days. Like woah.
Had the best Christmas ever... (:

24 Dec midnight, we sent dearest Kit off.
Dearest Kittt i will miss you! Have fun over there and i will see you real soon!! :D

Having less then half hour sleep, i went school for project :( THEN CHRISTMAS DRAMA! So touched by the drama... then COUNTDOWN at Esplanade with KEL zone people which is awesome! and then late late dinner with mum and jy.

25 DEC! great way to start my Christmas, to be in the house of God. (:
caught something outside of the story, i really want my 2011 to be so awesome. something different, something more.. more than this 2010. 2010 is great, 2011 will be more. new things.. greater things..

Headed off for special mission after svc w Joel and met Angel and Chung.
& thank Joel for sharing so much! great friend and brother! :D then 4 of us spent 4 5 hours tgt "romantically" under a hut in the rain about everything. but all for a good cause.(:

CONGRATS RAE & EDWIN!!!

still so so so happy for them! Like woohooo, words can't describe, but it has been like 2 years plus but it all seem so short. IM HAPPY FOR MY DEAR LEADERS. The ones who brought me up and built me further. Thank you Edwin and Rae. So so so much and thanks for letting me help out. So so so honoured!! :D
AHHHHHHH so happy tt i want everyone to get married like now. IF YOU'RE READING, PLS GET MARRIED NOW, OR ASK ME FOR HELP IN PROPOSAL? :D

Maybe i should totally go into this matchmaking agency thingy or wedding thingy, since i have strong discerning over this kind of stuff. i kinda rock in this :D hahaha joking!

Im still so so happy. Privilege to sit on the same cab as them ytd home. Thank God for His awesome hands of protection. on the express road, this car suddenly just slide and turn 180 degrees facing us, THANK GOD our cab driver wasn't driving very very fast, and we didn't bang into the car that slided, if not i wont know where im at now. Thank God for protection and of cause for Edwin and Rae's spiritual covering, 2 great leaders in the cab, of course nothing bad will happen to me! THANK YOU EDWIN AND RAE! :D

Just so happy for Edwin and Raeeee :D:D

Went for sleepover w my dearest Spastics. Love them so so much, sorry guys for like being so busy, but thanks for still loving me <3 we talked till we slept, so funny. the ones where i can be like the kiddish me. love my friends.

Awesome Christmas, w happening stuff OH AND I SHOOK HANDS WITH PK! Merry Christmas present! God bless Pastor! :D

Now im on my lazy sunday mode. but i got to do my project like soon. feel like slacking, but no xy..
PROJECT WORK TMR ALSO. God... Help me...

Monday - project
Tuesday - Appreciation stuff
Wed - Spastic's day
Thursday - Chalet
Friday - Appreciation party / Chalet
Sat - Chalet / Svc / NEW YEAR

This is my end of my year.
So much to feel... i'm gonna love my 2011.

Brokenness. A word to think about more... in 2011.

When you smile

Had a long day today.
Project was omgosh, so tiring, or maybe all of us were just tired... yup, and thank God for just my own soul time at Starbucks, writing my goal card for 2011 and a new word for 2011.

New wineskin for new wine..
Not really a new word, but a word in season, solving all my doubts.
Thank you God.

Really thankful for my time at Starbucks and so timely..
Headed to get a few things for Christmas, and then time with @happydose. Crazy girl but thankful for her! Everyone needs a place to rant nonsense and thank God for happydose to hear my nonsense and not get affected by everything. Seriously as i look back on 2010, things changed, especially my friendship with her, thank God and amazed at how things changed. Thank you Jasmin!!!

Kito is leaving soon, omg.. :(
KIT I WILL MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCHHH!!!

2010 changed so much, and just now i was just writing down, i was just getting use to 2010, getting used to poly life, and soon, everything is coming to an end soon, just when i'm starting my new adapted life. But isn't it like that, once we get used to something, we got to move on, cause it just means our capacity enlarged, and it's time for another enlargement.

Luke 5:39 - And no one, having drunk old wine, immediately desires new; for he says, ‘The old is better.’”
This is not gonna be my attitude! Stepping out, stepping out, stepping out.

I set my new goals and resolutions for 2011, and i'm gonna do it!! Better than 2010, 2011 is gonna be a very awesome year! :D Glory to glory.

Was just thinking about this for the past few days after REAL


"What others can, we can't"


What others can, I can't.

& Jasmin blogged it, wow, we flowwww yo!

2011, i speak to you, You're gonna be a great year of Breakthroughs!
:D Last 10 days of 2010! Ending it well!!

Obed-Edom

I wanna be like Obed-Edom.
So much more...

"...... and the Lord blessed Obed-Edom Xinying and all his her household."

The love for His house that he have, i want to have.
Servanthood heart. and the love for His presence.

REAL ended, but Xinying's new life have just began. (:

For you alone

My heart is just filled with Thankfulness.

REAL is over, after all the practising and fellowship and straining and stretching.
Really i am just so thankful God is able to use someone like me, someone who is so not worthy and everything.

The presence of God, the presence of God.
When i stood on the stage just to serve, my heart was in awe. All glory to Him. Thank you Jesus for the opportunity.

I saw how people worship, i saw people's hunger, i saw their cry. I look up, i saw the lights, and it reminds me of Him. I had this vision of the sea and river flowing before Cynthia preached today, my heart was so in awe while she was preaching, that i really wanted to just tear.

In times when i was not feeling myself this year, He was there, just to comfort me, reassure me, lov me. Yet i somehow grief the Holy Spirit in some ways at time. I was faithless, yet He's faithful.

My heartcry for 2011, More of You, more of You.
One thing i dont want to stop doing, to keep on serving Him. Because i know when i serve, God is there to expand me greater. My cry, i want to serve, and never stop. Jesus, i thank You.


You are the peace that guards my heart...
Father, I love You, 
& we worship You this day.

REAL Day 1

My resolution

One of my resolution this year was to be a true worshiper.
At the beginning of the year, when i wrote that down, i meant to sing truthfully what the song says, and just to sing and play the guitar nicely. I don't even know why i decided to write tt down. haha.

But along the way, God started to reveal what a true worshiper meant.
Someone who sings that even when the music and melody is stripped away, the voice, talents and everything gone, what is left is just a heart. and if your heart is right, that's it.

True worshipper doesnt mean you have to have a good ultra nice voice, cause all of all won't even pass this test. but just a heart, willing to love the one. For He search much deeper within, through the ways things appear, looking into our heart.

We sang 'Heart of Worship' today, one of my childhood songs, and Kelvin shared about true worshipper which made me thought of my resolution that makes me realise, God is so REAL as REAL approaches. How to know whether you're a true worshipper? For me, it's when i'm placed on stage, am i there to impress or to bring down the presence.. It's when i forsake all i'm doing, just to cling on to Him, to pull down and not singing the right note, blend and whatsoever, but just to rely on the HS.

Surrendering all, and all.
I want to be a true worshipper, and my resolution is coming to pass.
Even though i dont know it is, He moves and moves, till 11 months later, i came to realise, i'm a better worshipper now. But i'm still not satisfied. Move in me God.
Still very thankful for the chances to serve on stage.

Tmr's REAL alrdy, move in the Muso God, in all the sessions.(:

I'm literally living REAL now.
Did design stuff today for 4 cgs, collect thing for REAL pack, muso pract and came home doing REAL stuff.
Why am i so into REAL, not cause of the benefits and rewards i will get, but the end result of Him being shown to all. (; REAL God.