Encouragements

Encouragements are actually so so essential to many people's lives.
Not sure about you though, but it is so so important to me. An encouragement actually makes me feel loved, feel so blessed, feels that someone actually care for me. & that is a thing i am always so ever thankful for. To be loved.

These 3 days of exams, okay wasn't tt bad to go thru, because i know every single moment, someone bothered to came to say 'Jiayou' to me or pray for me or confess over my life.

Thank you angels... For just all the encouragements in many many forms.

Just a thought... Random one.
Abba Father gave up His only Son to save the world. 
Abraham could give up his only son because He asked him to give Isaac up. 
2 different kind of sacrifices... More to think about.

Anw had a good day w Spastics. Even though it's short...
Deanna: "Anything recent?"
Me: "I got a new fridge!"
Deana: "Tell me that in the future..."

Cuz everyone's talking about their life happenings, like what's going on. But i really think having a new fridge is a big deal to me... No ice at home, and now a new fridge that can make ICE. WOOHOOO. this is joy!

Or maybe simplicity is just joy. (:
Take joy in simplicity... :D

Shoes...

Woke up w this dream again. What was cool about this dream is that it was my first time dreaming about stuff in church.

I saw Cynthia Kelvin and some other leaders talking about serious stuff at church lvl 4. like saying last year's camp wasn't free, but this year it will or something. and then it was so serious that i dont dare to join them so i saw Jas i went to start praying w her.. then she wanted to leave church, so in a rush i left my shoes in my shoebag at church.

so we walked to pioneer, i reached home. i told jy i left my shoebag at church. so we went back to get it, jy asked "can find meh"? "there's a lost and found there" and church suddenly became so near at shss area.

So to cut short on my dream, amazing thing was actually about the shoes i left in church. Why shoes... so i went to look up on shoes and it speaks of an armor for spiritual warfare.

Wear on your feet shoes that will prepare you to tell the good news about peace.

So i went to look up on it,
"GOSPEL" really means in the Greek language: "Good announce" or "Good message." Our English word EVANGELISM comes from that same Greek word. And in old times, that Greek word EVANGELISM or GOSPEL first didn't mean religion.

It just meant spreading good news like "REJOICE, our VICTORY is here."

And it dawned upon me, that i left my expensive sport shoes bro bought in church, and it means i have actually left my victory in church, and now it's time to really to find it back, and there is a lost and found there. You lost something, you can find it.

Aft Cynthia's blog post, i am amazed. war is here!
Well, dont leave your good victory at church, bring it home w ya!
Shoes are important for soldiers in a fight... I am gonna bring good news even if i have to run very very far cuz i have good shoes!

http://www.christdeaf.org/bible/armor/Armor4_Shoes.htm

Catching the flame, never be the same

Listening to all the old songs i wrote...
Some were unheard, some just simply not that nice.

But oh well, i know there is always this person so ever supportive of my songs, Abba Father...
Listening back to all the songs, it definitely wasn't the best songs around, but it was from my heart but i think i wrote it too quickly and finish it in 2 days or 1. so maybe it wasnt tt true? idk..

So i have this new tune... but no lyrics.
Cause i dont just want to write a song for the sake of writing a song, but rather, a song from the depths... Not just a reflection, but a conviction. A song that has lyrics from my revelations that convicted me.

Was coming up w the tune that day, suddenly this still small voice came and said,
Write because it's your song,
Write because it's your destiny.
At that moment, i was like, woah okay. Why should i write songs about how other people's lives are, i write cause it is my song. I guess this is what the other songwriters write for...

Listening to many other songs written, there is this certain power in their songs, cause they definitely had this encounter when they wrote this song. Inspired by all the lyrics, and actually made me think, im quite lousy actually when it comes to songwriting.

But when i think about it, my audience is not people nor men, but Abba...
So it's alright. I keep writing, i will keep improving. IT'S GOOD.

Always so blessed when i hear the still small voice that reminds me and guides me.
Not just godly stuff, but when i forgot something at work, "you still have this" and i was stun... okay. TYJ!

Still small voice... 

I thank God. Despite of all i went thru, i am still standing here. Somehow this year's storm is different from last year's. But every year i learn something so true, so real...

So another thing..
Recently, i learned, to love being me. to just stop being like others, and be me. i am created to be me, not to be other people. so why get so bothered by what other does, i have a specific destiny for me from Abba Father.

KKKKKK, STUDY.
Exam is another 13hours, im halfway done.
Feel quite at peace though... NO COMPLACENCY! STUDY!

i could sing of You love forever

Not every worship song have to be in tears, crying and all.

Every worship song tells of a story.

I could sing of You love forever... :D:D:D

Let this worship of mine not just only be in tears. but joy as well... (:

one of David's Psalm

1 Generous in love-God, give grace! Huge in mercy-wipe out my bad record. 2 Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry. 3 I know how bad I've been; my sins are staring me down.

4 You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. 5 I've been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. 6 What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

7 Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life. 8 Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. 9 Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. 10 God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. 11 Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. 12 Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! 13 Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. 14 Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. 15 Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.

16 Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. 17 I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.

18 Make Zion the place you delight in, repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls. 19 Then you'll get real worship from us, acts of worship small and large, Including all the bulls they can heave onto your altar!

The Psalm God spoke to me in the beginning of the year...
Create in me new heart... and thIs morning went to check the other versions.
This is the psalm..

self transformation

In a phase of self transformation. But definitely by the leading of God.

No longer I,

No longer I,

No longer I.

But Christ who lives in me.

The old man shall pass away, and the new man shall live.

Humility

Humility...
Something we always asked to have, but what does it truly mean to have a humble heart? As far as i can remember, i am always taught to be be humble, but sometimes it just feel that humility can actually also a prideful heart in pretense to be a humble heart.

But in L7, one thing i truly really pray is that He will humble the exalted me. Unless i am humbled, i will never ever be exalted. Not that i want to be all high and lifted up, but rather, be lifted up higher to reach Abba Father.

May my heart be pure...
Be right in His sight.

Delay in ministry makes it more precious... - Mark Kwan
and may i always treasure my ministry...

Something changed.

L7 is over... 3 days 2 night of life transforming sessions.
Something truly truly changed in me...Perfect love casts out all fear.. All fear, all rejections, all jealousy, all unclean things. 3 times of spring cleaning was what it needed, but in all of these 3 times, it's just His grace, His mercy...

Truly understand the meaning of what it is to really only being satisfied with God in my life. Maybe in the future i would be tested more again, who knows. But i know this L7, something changed within.

To continue to write this destiny of mine, to write this song of mine, i need a sharp pencil. So with this pencil i have, i pray, it's a life full of love, just like His love.

Nothing much to describe this 3 days except for the word Love.
So is it back to reality after camp? After 'hiding' in church for 3 days 2 night?
No, i'm always in reality cause i have Him in my life. Facing everyday with His love, in this reality. and im not losing it. Never losing it. but press on.

I want to be a sharp pencil, to be used by the Author, to write my destiny.

seaons

what an amazing season... 

not a season of expanding, but really just a season that so different.

Everyone have a season to do more, or to do less....   and it's a season to really to be faithful and hold on.. my latter days will come, meanwhile, i got to deal w the heart. 

sometimes, it's really just about letting go and peace will come. 

No matter what, Jesus, come take my all...

I long to be the bride You're returning for..

One word to just describe my whole feeling now.

Mixed.

Mixed w so many things, but really just want to focus on this one thing.
Realise in some season of my life i would just defocus...
But i pray, as much as i defocus, let me never go to the wrong track. i may fail, go the wrong track, just let me head back to the right way.

& still so thankful, regardless of many times i defocus, He still gives me chance, i will treasure it.

All for Love

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

In the beginning of this year, while praying for some stuff, i told God to show me a verse. I flipped, i turned to the verse where by they are talking about the new wineskin and old wineskin. I didnt understand, so i move on with this year. Then this week, While Jodie was sharing word for everyone, she told me, new wineskin, He wants to give me new wineskin. It's a season of change.

& Pst Phil shared ytd, the best wine is usually left for the last... & i had a rhema on it.. To think about it, from the starting of the year, He is alrdy pushing new wine to me, but i was still remaining and holding to my old wineskin. Even though i had this revelation of, having drinking old wine, i won't immediately like new wine, so i should change and step out of comfort, BUT i didnt act on this revelation, and still dare to write it big big on my post it. To think about it, i can just laugh at myself.

If new wine is gonna be given again and again at different points of my life, my wineskin have to be changed regularly, and this point, wineskin is my mindset. However, not forgetting my ancient landmarks, but adding on, combining it, to have the best wine in the end.

I want the best wine, and the wine usually signifies joy.
The thing about studying the word, gives you more and more meaning to discover...
The new wineskin to contain, both the old and the new so it wont break.

All for love...
& finally i understand aft half year is gonna pass...
L7 muso, i am stepping out in my new wineskin.
But not with my own understanding anymore, but really be so so so led.

L7 is gonna change my life, just like how Inspire Stronger changed me...

pls ignore the fact im skinnier there!

Heart must be right whenever one stands on the stage.
A heart wanting to just to serve and just to be use by the only One.
Always thankful for the chance, to be able to stand up there for various KEL zone events, just to be used to serve in the area of music. Not because i like the stage, to be honest(not lying), my first performance on stage w BAND, i cried.. so i dont really like the stage actually.

& really, humilty is important if you want to stand up there. I am really "pei fu" by all the worship leaders like Bro Poh, Annabel, Ally. They are so awesome and humble..

& really after listening to them on Cityradio all these weeks, i am really really blessed.
God, Use us this L7!

Long post, but tata!

hinthint

credit: tumblr

God is giving me a hint to really focus on my project...
cause it's funny how i can't sign in Msn and go other blogs except for Twitter and this blogger site.

Thus i shall continue to my FYP and BV. It's my turn to contribute something!
God is really so amazing....

Started the day with almost wanting to pon class cause i thought i woke up late but in fact, i woke up 1hr earlier. Went bus stop, met Deanna!! woohooo.

Let me tell you a joke.
So today i was walking home from the bus stop, i saw my dad at his van, he got up his seat, he didnt see me at the back. I hold my hand like a gun and pointed at him from the back, and said "qiang jie! (robbery in chinese)" and he did the "wanna fight back" cute yet shocked look. At that moment i laughed and he wanted to scold me. K my fault, but it was so funny that i was laughing in the lift myself and told Kaka when i got home.

Glad to spend time with Mum and Bro today!
Drank BBT at Toa Payoh, cut my split ends away and neglected my projects for 3 hours. Now it's time to continue!

I am glad to have such a funny family. Like no one will know the way we work and love one another...
Im amazed... :D

down w tweeeter

Freedom of speech... But yet controlled.
In every word i speak, i wanna be edifying.

My twitter is getting a little quieter, like compared to last year or so...
it's better though... like im lazy to check twitter. but yeah. maybe unfollow ppl? nah dont like it.

k im tired now.
just realise my last 2 posts actually contradicted each other. hahaha.

Had a great time of strengthening w dearest Friend ytd. With Love, i can do all things. Love motivates.. Love changes everything. Really blessed to be in Muso actually, the place where i can touch God. New season, a different one though, not of expanding of capacity, but really the attitude whelm. It's a different season, and i pray i would be able to recognise it. Lead me fof all i am doing is not for me.

Colours of the wind

It's not difficult.
Just the mindset.

Somehow this picture above describe how i feel.
Try to analyse it and maybe you will know.

But so glad today, i told part of it to Jieying, always something whenever i talk to Jieying. I might be the most problematic person in the cg.. lol..

Love motivates...

I really think it became part of me to stay optimistic about stuff, well poly taught me this. Even if things is argh ahh ehhh ahhhhh, i can choose to stay ;) :p :) :D weeee about it. Well.

Off point actually. I find it funny that poly people dk tt i was loud and only during camp, they were like, omg, xy can actually shout so loud. Okay thia camp i earn myself a reputation of "siao kao" crazy girl. But it did contribute to the hype level, so its good.
Wonder why im talking bout camp right, cuz i just had my debrief on camp. I know i did some stuff wrong, but hahah i will learn.

Life's like this. We do, we reflect on wrong parts, dont be dismay, we improve. This makes life more interesting dont you agree?

But 1 thing i really didnt expect myself to do this poly life.. To participate in stuff like this, from someone who only want to have a no life poly social life, to someone who decided to jpin the HR committee and pass 2 interviews successfully and in HR chapter.

Thinking back, God is really good. He gave me this chance and xy make full use of it.. For the last few months!!! Alison shared, as long as you dare to take a step of faith, God will show up! Really blessed by what she shared on city radio ytd...

More to think bout... (:

pretty pretty please, please don't ever ever say, you're less than perfect, cause you are to me

Ended DHRMP first ever camp. It is really good to be honest. and i guess people who dk me really think i was crazy, but oh well. That's what people know me for.. Good side and bad side i guess. Had been like doing post-camp stuff today, all the facebook things, posting pics, videos. I'm doing my communication job well! :D Good job. i deserve my cca points now!

Having this really really weird feeling, and i think if there's a place to just let it out, it would be really nice. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. okay done. This is one of the "xinying" days where she stuck in this kind of ahhhhhhh feeling.

Song for the day:
"Lazy", Because i dont feel like doing anything, i just want to lay in my bed.

Having alot of contradicting thoughts today, which is not very good. Like you know that you actually thinking it's wrong, but you tend to continue with the wrong things.

Well must be because of my dream again. Can someone please tell me why my dreams are so weird? WHYYYYY. It's a good dream yet it's bad. gosh...

Oh well Monday ming tian.
NEW WEEK, NEW THINGS.

XOXO XINYING

thank you

Heeeee i recovered from my muscle tear on my left foot. Doc said it was because i walked too much, but walk too much also not good? nooooooooo like tt i will never lose weight. anw not main point!
I RECOVERED ALREADY, believe tt this past 3 days, my right leg got stronger... was hopping to 'walk' faster. thanks to the needle poking thing, accupun something, and the bandaging of my foot, yay now better :D

Losing the ability to walked on Monday night to Tuesday morning makes me realise how important it is to be just able to walk... Imagine one day you cant walk... the feeling is like... argh.

So i learned, to be realllyyyyy thankful that i can walk. tt i beared the pain in the middle of the night, took up courage to stand up on my feet, to hop up my stairs at home and bathe and get to the sinseh, braved thru the needle poking, and the pressing of the leg and then bandage and head to school. i didnt miss sch. :D

& thank you to all angels who prayed for me!
Jieying, Dorothy, Jasmin, Sarah and alll!!! :D

Actually i think my threshold for pain quite high... and it's quite good. It means i have higher capacity.

Was talking to Kitson and Eunice, we agree poly make us realise who we are even more.. and im glad to come to SP to know so much more about myself.

The ugly side, and the good side that changed from the ugly side.
In all.. really thankful..

As my load gets bigger again, the camps, the plannings, the projects....
Jesus, this year is going to be different. i will take a balance, and excel in all. unlike previous years, i serve and i serve and i forgot all about the ministry of being a student.

All of us are in this ministry as a student, to be placed in school to honour God there. Took me 2 years, 4 sem to understand this.. but not to late! Abba, i am going to honour you this sem... (:

Here we stand, unafraid of the future

Finally a day home.
& it's the 2nd day my foot is swollen.... Thinking of how to climb up "Er Mei Shan" tmr to school, makes me feel argh. idk. But long day tmr though..

Dk why my foot just got swollen all a sudden also. But yeah, healing will come.
CWBS TMR!

Had a great day w Boon Val Dor and Stan ytd. I miss hanging out w my friends...
Like really fruitful fellowship.

[edit]
Went to research on why my foot is hurting so badly..
Maybe its Achilles Tendonitis or maybe it's Haglund's Deformity... and both is not good at all. First time after so long... or maybe it's the first time, worse than spraining my ankle, that i can't even get up to walk. this feeling is really very bad, and i dont like it. it's worse than losing my voice, (cuz it's impt to a singer), but now... for a traveler like me, always going to the east and west, the ability to walk is more important..

i dont want an operation.. i only want my foot to be healed. but in God i trust...
I pray You come and heal my leg.. one touch from You, can do miracles... i promise to not hurt it anymore..
But i trust i You.. You are El Shaddai...

[/edited]

When I lost hope, You were there to remind me, this is the start

Watched 3 cartoon movies this 2 days..
"Beauty & the Beast", "Cinderella" and "Anastasia", and to be honest, Cinderella(1950)'s moral of the story is just meaningless.. To marry a rich guy that is Cinderella's dream. Maybe tt show didnt protray Cinderella as a humble person at all, tt's why i kinda dislike it. But oh well.. It's just cartoon.

Hahaha i just like shows w meanings behind it. But it's very objective though..

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey


I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life... My journey isn't over ;)

Aladdin now! teehee :P

Beauty and the Beast..

Pastor Kong shared a montage on Beauty and the Beast today..
Always loved the song above and i rmbed the last time i heard it was at Kelvin and Cynthia's wedding.

Just finished watching Beauty and the Beast w Jy.. and it's so touching.
Beauty is not on the surface, beauty is what lies within..

Every one wants a happy ending, but somehow we assume that in this world, no happy ending exist. Tt day i was watching Bedtime Story, there was this part where the main cast's sister was telling the main actor, "I'm not angry with you because you gave my kids junk food, but because you told them that in this world, there's no happy ending..."

Most of us stuck w this mentality since birth, but i'm breaking this.
There are Happy Endings! but... today new conclusion.

There are happy stories with true love, BUT there is no happy ending with true love..
Because true love is everlasting and last for eternity, so no ending to the story at all..
Love is enduring and never ever pass away.

Other than what this world is seeking for, the Eros love, i choose Phileo love too.
when eros love come, it comes. But now... I focus on His agape love.. and phileo love. (:
I Choose Love. (: