pictures recent spam

Zhizhar just now!

Awesome member Kelvin!

Spastic sister

Muso Outing! The dye hair group of ppl!

Awesome cindy!

Awesome Leejie!!

Awesome Shar!! :D

Loving my life just the way it is.
Watched "Tan/Dan qing shou an" and i cried just now. So touching and sad when silimei and kingsley were not together. :/ but yay, they reconciled! :D

Thinking so much bout things around, and i'm getting peh chek sometimes. pehchek w my thoughts.. but all is well, cause i know my God is w me.

New thoughts, new conclusions, new revelations. (:

mother's love

These few weeks, okay past 2 weeks, i have been sick.
But to think about it, i'm not very sad about getting sick actually. Okay even though i scolded myself for running under the rain even when i'm sick and made me extra sick. But it's alright. Haha.

Even thought mum loves scolding me also, deep down i know, Mum cared for me. (":
2 weeks ago, when i thought she's gonna throw me at polyclinic again, she appear infront me w soya milk and bread, knowing i haven't ate my breakfast. & cause the queue was too long, she said she rather spend more money than wait for this polyclinic. At tt moment even though i didnt show it, i was super touched within.

& today and ytd, she actually 'scolded' me, to come home early, to take care, not to eat chips and so and so. Fierce yet deep inside a love.

Actually deep within everyone's heart, lies a little kid who wants their mum or dad to love. Even though they don't show their love 24/7, i know that there is some obvious signs that they still love the kid, and mum loves me. At the side of their eyes when they are scolding me words that hurt me, they feel bad(i believe so..) and signs of aging, the wrinkles beside their eyes cause they worry too much.

& i'm just tt little kid who wants mum and dad to love me.

& to end off,
I love my dad and mum.
& i thank God for them. :D

glory in the power of the cross

Behind every man, there's his vulnerable moments. & it is what he does during those moment that makes him even stronger. (:

Kinda addicted to this song, "In Christ alone", thanks to Jingying. Thanks girl. (:

Not everyone is strong all the time, and i dont know if i blogged this before, but the strongest man is actually the weakest man. Weak cause he had went through so many vunerable moments that is able to break him. Imagine the tears he cried, times when he thought of giving up and thinking that death is the best solution, but he didn't.

Strength don't come from how well you can fight physically, but mentally.
Every one can get tired someday, when fighting 20 people, and you see another 100 coming in to attack, your flesh may fail you. But if you have the right spirit and mentality you want to go through it, you will eventually.

Your determination is the greatest strength. & usually the place we draw our strength is very crucial, it determines whether we stand or fall & if the source of our strength suddenly fails, we will fail and fall.
So i pray i stand on the right source of strength.

People might fail me, friends may fall away, but one won't.
& i trust on this... On Christ i stand.

Anyone could say, "hey look at tt person, always so happy and smiling, bet he didn't have anything happened to him before.", but hey, you didn't see his vulnerable side before. So next time before you do that, maybe you can stop and see if there's any 'obvious scars' on him. Tiredness, the way he speaks and all. (if you wanna do this deep thought thing. haha)

That's why i look up to PK. (:


In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

But why,
cause of His grace....
which i can do more.

On a lighter note,
I slept alot today, fever is gone, headache is gone. Flu still here, but will be gone soon.
Thanks for the prayer guys! Heading back to school tmr, and i cannot afford to miss school anymore, cause i have HR chapter, redhill survey thingy. I need to be healed asap and i claim tt promise too! yay! :D

In Christ alone

In Christ alone,
I place my trust,
And find my glory in the power of the cross

I forgot the top part of the song.
In Christ alone, i place my trust...

Putting down everything, at the foot of the cross. (:

First 2 weeks of 2011 had been interesting, like what i told my 2 dear friends, i found the true focus of this year already.
& may i fix my eyes on them. (:

Am committed to my 3 STARS that i opened ytd.
I CLAIM this 3 promises He given me. (:

My source of strength

My source of strength
My source of hope
In Christ alone...

Jy sang this just now.. On the way home aft a day of supposingly 'shopping' to fellowship.. Okay & ended up, i think im having fever. :/

Feeling a little confuse right now, about certain stuff and now im just waiting for a reply to let it all out. I pray...

Great msg from PK ytd, thought of my STAR are His promises campaign ehich i started for myself last year, & i decided to take 3 out ytd, & just nice, 3 of them were prayers not answered & something In my heart tt i wanna focus alot this year & God reassured me..

Challenges will come,
But on His promises i will stand.

Being set apart... 3 words im gonna think more about. To be at this place where im standing today, i have to do something tt i usually wouldnt do, to give up things. So i pray, may i continue to do the right things...

& be guided...

Thanks for fellowship today! Denise, Kenrick, Gouwei, Weisiang, Dylan & dearest Jingying. I love you all <3

Here I am

HERE I AM

3 words that Abraham said..
3 words that Isaac said..
3 words that Jacob said...

when God called their name... & God blessed them and caused them to be fruitful and multiply.. and make them a great nation. (:

3 words can make a difference...

friends

Thought to self, isn't it very awesome to have like-minded people around you? that your topics never ever end and you can go on forever forever?

Had one of the longest talk on msn w Sarah and it's one of the longest and ongoing one ever since im super inactive in msn nowadays. random stuff but something tt both of us was thinking inside and we go on and on and on.

Read this on twitter one day, when silence is comfortable with this friend, it shows that he/she is your true friend. Quite true right? like silence is usually awkward at times, but it's difference when u feel a diff atmosphere in tt silence.. Just enjoying each other's presence even in silence.

One thing that i'm thinking about recently,
FRIENDS. 

What's the role of a friend and what's the role to play?
& today while talking to jy on the train, i realise something..

Friends, do not have to sms everyday
Friends, do not have to talk everyday
Friends, do not have to spend everyday tgt
Friends, do not have to meet up everyday

But a friend who is there everytime when we need them,
W a spirit that flows with you, who knows what you want and meets ur needs....
W a heart of love, acceptance and not condemnation when you're having a bad day and having the worse attitude ever, and all the differences between both of you.

& most imptly, cares more about the friendship, rather than their own 'face' when you and him/her gets into the fight and says sorry first.

& actually there's more to being a friend... and i'm praying that i can learn to be a better friend.
Just like learning to be a lover, a parent, a daughter/son and all, we're not born perfect to be a person, but we all learn to be a better someone to another person.

When we start to give, we start to receive.
You want love, give love.

But now.... on my way to learn to be a better friend.
Thankful for all the friends placed around me.
Friends i havent been spending time w, friends who made me who i am today, friends who love me just the way i am. Thank you guys.

& most imptly, thankful for my Best Friend.
But still time is very impt to build relationship! not saying dont dont spend time at all k!!!
Time to spend time w my favourite Person. (:

faithful

Had a very good time of worship w @happydose.
Like it when we just waited on Him, in guitar strums, in voices. Peace just started to reign over the place.
As we're worshiping and praying, it seems like He was sitting in with us, praying w us also.

Had a good time (:
& i remembered what Pst Mark preached last week, transformation.
Simon -> Simon Peter -> Peter
Jacob -> Israel

He had an image for us. & for Jacob, it took 3 chapters for him to be officially called Israel. During tt 3 chapters, aft getting the new name aft wrestling w God, after tt, reconciled w Esau, disappointment w his daughter and sons, returning to House of God(Bethel) and lastly, his wife he loved most, Rachel died. & after letting go and burying his wife, finally he was called Israel, he had his transformation & breakthru.

Rachel wasn't a very good person i realized. Gen 31:19, she stole her father's household idols, Gen 31:34-35, she lied to her father about stealing. & she's a jealous wife.

Spending alot of time on one stuff doesn't mean it's the best. Jacob spent 14 years to marry Rachel, but in the end, it just seems like Rachel was one of the hindrance to his transformation/breakthru when he gt his breakthru aft she passed away.

Sometimes the hardest thing in the walk, is just letting go the things we treasure the most. 

But all of us got to realize, that the things we used to treasure most, might not be the most important thing.

Let us not be blind to see the things God wants us to have, but open your eyes and see. (:

Place to bury our hindrance, the house of God (Gen 35:19).

Place to bury our past, the house of God, where everything can start afresh again :D

Just one of my thoughts... 

May i not be blinded to things i shouldn't be fixing my eyes on.

that's why you go

i llikey Maroon 5! Brings back many memories.

Makes me wonder, Won't go home without you and moreee.
Have been so outdated with the music in the recent years. But doesn't matter anyway too cause the recent music havent been like super nice. & i love Micheal learns to rock. Awesome much!


& Westlifeeee! Awesome tooo!

Heard Westlife in Mango w Sarah & Jasmin that dayn and sarah and i just sing along only. Awesome, i need to go back to my sec school days where all the nice good music is still around. hohoho.

I LIKE OLD SONGS. & i think this is random, but my wedding songs will be filled with old songs. hohoho.
okay im gonna go home and pay off my sleep debt later on. headache and pimples and eyebags. :/
All be gone plsss. thanks!

Keeping my eyes focus, fixing my eyes. jiayou xy! :D

random thoughts

Sometimes i wonder what is it like to read my blog if i'm just another random person like you reading this page here.

I was thinking if i should create a formspring so people can ask questions, but base on old history that happened to me, i decided not. Many times i wonder how people think of me, that's why i usually get quite paranoid when jingying decides to tell other people about me and what i'm doing. Like if anything have the factor 'me' inside, i will go 'omg what that person say bout me?!' 

Heyyy that's why most of us who have siblings dont like our siblings to be friends with people we know. RIGHT?!?!? So our personal unglam ugly side wont be known to the social circle of ours! ADMIT IT NOW! hahahaha!

So this shows i'm still a very 'care about opinion/sensitives' person and want to know what other people says bout me. But in recent years, i came to realise actually this factor of me kinda dropped a lot even though it's still there. Can you imagine, in P6 days when people say 'hey xinying you so fat', i cried the next moment? hahaha!

Still working on the way that this opinions thingy doesn't matter so much to me, so that when i hear negative things about me, i can filter it out. 

K this is just a type-on random thought. 

Another random thought, God is in control of everything. 

Ever since last year till now, i think im super trained up for this certain area for my life, thrash hole high ttm. But other than making this thrash hole high, i need to train up the response of this thrash hole. So that i can just stop building up this thrash hole, and change the thing making my thrash hole higher. 

Turn things around, and make the imperfect perfect. 

God gives grace to the imperfect. (:

PS: I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY EYEBAGS!
okay maybe sleep early sounds good? i think...

bu zhi de

Like like this song alot since young.
never knew the meaning of the song till today.

& it seems like this for everyone.
we like this song so much, but after very long we listen to it again, then we will realise the deep meaning of the song. hohoh.

& i realise the meaning of this song, is tt that someone dont deserve of the singer's affection for tt someone. NOT WORTH IT. HOHO. niceeee. who's tt someone or something who don't deserve your feelings and love? move and change to somewhere else so your heart won't be broken!

okay, im not posting this just to move down the old ugly pics of me and jasmin, but i just came across this song i likey~ wanted to post this first but jasmin gave me the idea of posting old pics! hahaha.

dedicated to jasmin ng

All the way from 2007,

Just laugh. fat face!

irritating face

concerts

better looking face

impressions, my skinnest moment but still fat

first time in church event

first cgm @ boon's hs

first fellowship

first whole dyed hair

the 4 cgcs in w459!

appreciation 2009

somewhere in 2009

beginning of 2010

april 2010

somewhere in 2010

april 2010

weeeeeeeeeee, thru the years we grow, from fat to skinny to fat.
till you're skinny and im still fat, (okay words shapes my life, im not fat amen.)
You were there. Thanks for so many many.
I'm proud to say we grew up together, and from glory to GLORY.

& no matter what decision you make,
i support you till the end!
I love love you Jasmin ng.

LAUGH AT THE PICS K! yay. :D

Simplicity

Starting to find more joy in the simplicity of life.
I like it when i get happy over something(either big or small) in a day and it just keeps me happy the whole day. Like today, just satisfying my ping-chat random talks 'craving' w very awesome people who replied me and entertained me & out w @kukunugget & @happydose makes me happy. hahaha.

Okay, confession to make, i get grumpy easily when i don't have enough sleep, and i will just keep quiet the whole day or just be very dao-er. So i pray in those days when i'm tired and grumpy, i find the simplicity of life, to love every single little thing going around me.

His creation, His love, the people around me.
The joy of simplicity!

Hatred, dis-likeness, judging makes it all complicated. Just love..

Went for service 3 last week, and Pst Mark preached this verse,

Psalms 27:4
One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.

Let's be the ONE THING person! (:
& i will be happy enough.

Praying in 2011, i will be a happy person who love simple things cause it's all around! :D

In classs

Hoho, my ranting post! Bear w meee!
In a lecture now & im having flu and cough.. Shld have eaten my flu medicine during the week but it will make me drowsy and then i cannot concentrate & just sleep.

Realise i nv notice much of David Cheong's ah ah ahhh~ alrdy, good job xy & i can multitask at this, typing & listening to him.

Im hungry and my stomach is growling very loudly.. :(

Okay i sound so not naggy and complain-sy, something i dont like. Dont like ppl complaining, so i shld cut down! Haha.
Praying tt today will be a short day where i can go home to rest & sleep, bt there's projs. Its pileing up alrdy, last 7 weeks to year 3!

Rm, T&D, HRIS, NCM, UCCD, u will be done very soon! & exam u too!

lost

Sometimes there are just moments you feel like you don't want to do anything,
and just sit somewhere, thinking why you feel the way you feel right now.

Not that i'm feeling emo or negative,
but time to think about life.

Life's good,
2011's 1st week is over, what's next?

The carpet seems to be my best friend now. (:

Okay, maybe i should get on to my bible reading and prayer now.
Time is impt, and things are happening.
Ahhh, my mind and things happening around makes me so nervous at times.

Sudden emotional tornado now,
feeling like this the first time, a little lost, a little confuse..
But it just seems that all i can do is to pray and love.
Expand this heart of mine God..

trust, easily broken

Trust, difficult to build up...
But at the any point of the trust, 

it can be easily broken too. 

Trust, a 5 letter word,

yet so so much to learn from it.

Got to have wisdom!

thoughts

I was just looking at twitter and facebook just now..
and this negative thought hit me on the spot, and suddenly all i felt was just giving up for this area just for that instance and it's not a good one.

Okay it didnt happen the first time already, maybe it's because my breakthru is coming!
Thoughts comes so sudden, but it's up to us to filter it away.

Filtering all the bad thoughts today and gonna keep going on!
Go xy xy xy xy!
Go everybody reading this post!!
God loves you! :D

i need you

So sleepy nowww. Dont know why my energy have been leaking away. Flu every morning...
but that's not gonna stop me! :D this is my ranting post. hohoho.

One of my resolution this year is to go home early and to stay at home more.
Have been doing it faithfully for the past 1 week alrdy. Yayyy.
Maybe i should start on my next resolution, GO RUNNING since im home more.
ahhhhhh. shake those fats off plsss xy.

okay okay i pray the project ends soon.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Testing

Trying out this new program on my iphone! Like coolz, easy to blog on the go..

I wanna change phone sooooonnn.
Let's just pray.

Reading about Noah today and one special thing... He found GRACE in the eyes of the Lord.

I want to be like Noah too, but i got to do more than now. (:

openness

Came to realise this thing, many people have different sides/views/opinions on who i am.
Not because i'm having split personality, or i'm 2 face or what, but i realize its just how much i'm willing to let that person know me or how open i am to that person. Actually it applies to everyone not only me.

To my Spastics, to my friends in church, to my leaders, to my members, to my parents, to jy, to my elder bro and sister, to my schoolmates, or to every different individuals, everyone know me for something, but it might not be the whole of me.

People can know us by, the crazy side, the quiet side, the responsible side, the smart side, the stupid side, the awesome side and so many many sides cause we chose to let them know this side of us.

& sometimes, we're more open to this person, and less open to that one, share this here, share this there and all.. All because of our choice to open up to a person. & sometimes we are just so afraid to share that we dont even tell anyone, and that's our choice too. Not just secrets but also just some character sides, like showing ur temper to others...

But i know at the end of the day, if someone cares to add all the sides we have and then starts to analysis them, he/she will get it, get who we truly are.

I also came to realise this one little thing bout me, or maybe most of us, we are so so bothered by other's opinion at times, that we try to be the very perfect glass ornaments, place on the glass cupboard, perfectly for the world to see. The higher we are placed, the more perfect we want to be, because one slight crack would cause others to pin-point us and we will feel so low self esteem or whatsoever. & we try not to move so much, cuz it might cause a big crack where people will notice it and we fear that we might be taken down from the shelf, without knowing that deep within, we might already be cracking.

So i made this decision, not to be so bothered by how other think about me, as long as i know i'm doing what the person up there wants me to do, and do it right, it's good enough. Cause in the end, it's not everyone who knows the whole situation and the true me, but Someone out there, who knows it all. I rather be me, then be who the world wants me to be.

Even if i do have a crack, an imperfection, i will come down of that shelf and be fix again, and then put me at at any part of that shelf i am at.

Reminds me of potter and the clay.

Okay, just random thoughts.
I dont even get some parts. I'm not a writer.. pardon me! :D
Still thinking..

I'm not very perfect, and i still have negative thoughts, but i'm gonna change them in 2011!
Finally, school later on!

the year

I just realise this year is the year,
where i'm gonna end my poly soon.
So fasttttt!!! :D

The thing about ending poly, is that i can go for SOT after that! :D
Just last Sat, when announcement was on SOT, i scream so loud as though as i'm going this year. But yeah, I AM GOING next year! :D

No matter what no matter what,
i know 2012 is gonna be awesome, cause i can go SOT!
Confessing for 2 years alrdy, and this is the 3rd year. AND NO MATTER WHAT, this year will be the year that great things will happen and path my way towards SOT! :D

Jiayou jiayou!

(edit)
i'm planning for SOT alrdy! SAVE UP XY!!!!!!!!
SOT SOT SOT SOT SOT
(/edit)

resolution

3 Jan now..
& i'm sick, but thank God for 2 days of mc.
out of 3 weeks of holiday which is not holiday, i got my extended holiday and got to rest at home.

weeee.
Resolution... so many of them this year..
But One i hold it close to my heart...

melted marshmellow

Marshmallow are awesome!

Just got reminded of it when Dorothy tweeted about it.
The perfect BBQ marshmallow (where you will go like OMG IT"S SO NICE)  is when you bite it, the skin is hard and crispy while the internal is soft and melted. & to achieve this 'perfect' marshmallow is to place it near the fire, where it's actually very very hot if you're using a satay stick only.

Right Position near the charq, with a skin that will only harden without burning away in the fire, a soft internal where it won't harden together with the skin, but melt each time the fire is heating it.

& the fire is the environment. Either we burn out or we burn up! & we adjust our position in the environment.

Like what Dorothy tweeted,
@dorbells: Be hard on e outside (strong in God), and soft on e inside(teachable), just like bbq-ed marshmellow!and it'll be good!

Thick skin, thin heart.
This is what we need to 'taste good' in the future.
For now, maybe i'm still quite hard in the inside, i need more heating up, and more molding and teaching.
2011 is the year for me. (:

Very blessed by Edwin Rae Jieying & Rayvin today.
The awesome leader couples over my life! Thanks for the blessing of meals, and of cuz the awesome company, Joel Angel Chung Boon & Val! Great fellowship & fei-lo-ship!

I'm open to changes and i receive my first and second change this year,
New thing.
But this is when i rely on Him even more.
I can do it (:
God can do it. :D

Happy 2011

Thankful for all the things in 2010,
but NEW things in 2011!

Had a confirmation word by Pst Zhuang today, and when he shared, all my fear and doubts fled.

One prayer this year,
a new spirit, a spirit more sensitive to the HS, and closer to it.
Breaking there might be, but come what may, nothing matters as long as He's here with me.

Greater things, greater things. (:

Thank you friends that had been in my life, being there, loving me for who i am.
Thanksssss.

Have an awesome 2011! :D