God, You are my God

I love my pretty pretty friends.
& seriously, what i pray is what i focus.
I'm super serious about what i'm focusing on, something that nothing can shake. Immovable focus i pray. & Jy reminded me of Jacob just now, cause she was asking me about Jacob and his brother.

& i got reminded, Jacob was so hungry for the blessing that he wrestled with God till daylight and God made him crippled yet he wasn't angry with it cause he know he receive his blessing. Named 'Israel'. Reminds me of so many people who were hungry for this blessing, but not many in the end receive it like Jacob, cause they gave up halfway.

Give up, is 2 words i hear almost every other day.
But never will i give up, never.
I came so far not just for 2 words to happen, but a full length of pages to be written, instead for a mini '.'.
It just got to be more, and more and more.

Above all else.
Elisha & Jacob can do it, because they are doing it for the only one master.
Xy can do it too.

Just wondering, why in the world outside, there's always this mask everyone is putting on, just to cover their inner self. That sometimes, everything including smiles and laughters are all fake. We can say Life's like this, but to face the truth, that's actually so not true. Life could be so much better if we decided not to hurt ourselves.

But yeah, life's tough, & i know how it is..
Oh well...

My help comes from You

Got back my results, not tt bad. i made improvement but i need bigger improvement to pull my GPA back. no As this time round. but it's okay. JY XY!

Watching all the old videos, in SHWO, in old W459.
Old memories.


First concert that i actually cried before it. LOL. Love Teqeila. & i miss old band. was seriously super on in band last time. idk why too.



I believe i can fly by junior band, i joined the sec1s cuz i join band in sec2. wooo~


& old w459!!

Okay seriously i miss band & old W459!

Was just talking about taking sides yesterday.
Really dont like taking sides, and really i wont do it cause i know how it is like for people to take sides and the parties involve. Like one would because standing on this person's side, then end up scolding the other person when you're not involve and all. dont like...

That's why i like to stand neutral and not compare who's wrong & right, cause in the end, it's the parties involved decision to do whatever they like, not us.

Well, the past is the past, really still thinking about PT's msg.
Don't let past success hinder you in greater works to be done.
Don't let past failures stop you for your success that are coming.
In all, do not run away.

Body clock's not right, needa change it. Having major headache ever since i woke up(4pm).
Always in this mode of self-identify crisis, but I AM who I AM.
But in this midst of I AM who I AM, there's still changes needed to be make to be a greater I AM.
Changing not for the sake of others, but changing for the sake for a better self, and it better be for the better not worse. & usually it is kinda determine whether i changed for the better by people around too.

Change is always constant.
But HE IS WHO HE IS.

Like to make things to happen for people sometimes, but sometimes on my own ability, it can't be done. So i'm seeking for external help which is quite internal, and it starts with P. Let's pray. (:

Oct is here!

Is it abit too late to say October is here?

May it be a very awesome month.
With awesome celebrations, and joy and peace and love. (:

Though i started Oct happily and then not happy, but from 3rd Oct, no nothing, but happy!
Change of mindset and attitude, OCT IS GONNA BE A GREAT GREAT MONTH! :D

Esp 15 Oct hor? :D:D

Rest in peace Mrs Lee

"If she weren’t an influence, supposing I had married somebody else, I might have become a different person, not that I would be a different person, but the things that I would have been able to do, the kind of backdrop I would have had, family, support, would have been different," said MM Lee.

The kind of people you hang out with, get married to, get attached(a relationship/friendship) bond and all, influence you in your character and life and many different ways.

Mrs Lee was a great woman definitely, and to be a woman behind a great man Mrs Lee Kuan Yew's back, it's not easy. But yeah, she's 89 and i believe her life is lived worth-while. It's time to be back with the Lord.

Have fun in Heaven Mrs Lee!
With all respect and honour.

You Rule & Reign

Ever since i changed my internet modem and everything, i cannot get in twitter/blogspots. feel so sad, but nah, this is not a very very big thing la. Not gonna be sad!! :D

1) JIEYING'S SURPRISE
I just wanna say, woohooo, my plan with my dearest CGCs and members in W524 and W327 and Rayvin was a great success! Jieying didn't know about the whole plan, like we're doing visitation as per normal, cause Jieying cancelled cgm on Wed, and then we changed plan, and continued on with visitation. Quite woooo, cause jieying didnt suspect anything even though i was on my phone the whole time, IM SORRY JIEYING, I DIDN'T MEAN TO NOT NOT TALK TO YOU AND LOOK AT MY PHONE!!! :(

So we did visitation at Tamp to Lot 1 to Dhoby Ghaut, and i'm really really surprise that Jieying is willing to cooperate with us, to be blindfolded and to listen to MP3! :D Thanks Jieying!!

& i am happy!!! Cause i havent been sewing for a very long time, and i sewed a very pretty name, Dawn Jieying on the blindfold! Not very perfect, but at least the name can be seen right? Support me abit! hahaha. (:
didn't know jy dont likey frogs, sorry jieying! now i know!!! i repent! extra qt 1hour today!

So yeahh, while Jieying's being blindfolded and cabbing down to Rayvin's hs, everyone is preparing the food and everything, and TADA~ SURPRISE!!! I likey Jieying's card! :D Jieying managed to figure out we're heading to Rayvin's place! hahaha.

This is just a very short short summary of the whole birthday party, but really thank you all ESP RAYVIN & W327 FOR HIS HOUSE AND FAST RESPONSE AND CANCELLING CGM! :D Really i feel very blessed to have very awesome leaders and people around me! I thank God for awesome members who are willing to give and to come down. (:

& then after the happy party, something not very happy happened.
But really i still thank God that my dearest beloved was there, and because my internet broke down and can't type, i called her and we talked bout her BS on Praise and we talk random stuff for 43mins! I saw the time and i was wooo, cuz i dont like talking on the phone, serious chop.

But yeah, Rae told me this,
[When we get scoldings when we're wrong, it's chastening & when right, it's test of attitude. Always rmb this!!][tweettweet]

Ytd was really a test of attitude, or chastening. idk, but yeah, kinda.. But thank God for awesome people around like Jieying & Roxanne. (:

Really like what Pst Tan preached today, really so so many times i wanna run away, but really i stayed. & i believe many times Elisha wanted to run away because his king backslide, small nation compared to Syria, always at losing end, people despise him and nation, but he continue to cling on, and cling on.

May i always have this attitude of clinging on, never to let go just like Elisha!

I kinda feel what the sms she sent was right, sometimes the more i speak, the more mistakes i commit. It wasn't a joke, but sometimes this kinda thing just pierces thru and hurt deep. Words matters so much & it pierces people and forms their world.

Xy, please watch your words in future & think before you speak.
But really sometimes it only takes close friends to really truthfully understand what i'm really talking about, cause i'm not the best speaker around. Sorry if i ever ever make you feel out of place or bad, cause i dont mean too, & i dont think i have the power to do so too. :(


& HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST GARY,
really hope you enjoyed today even though not many people came, but i really like your card alot!! Greater things are gonna gonna come k? jiayou!

Had a great fellowship w Gary @happydose @yyunting @angel_lly @limchaochung @dotdot88 @JINGYINGGG @joel_stage today! I really love my zone alot & really i thank God for everything.

In all things, i give thanks, even when it's tough. Cause i have this master who is so great and worthy of my praise. :D

I WILL BLESS THE LORD WITH ALL MY SOUL~

Excitinggg

Sometimes we got to sacrifice something for a bigger picture to make it whole and complete. 

Give up here and there even though it hurts.

In progress of a very exciting planning(to me la), and i pray all things goes on well, put in all the resources alrdy, pray it will be effective with efficiency. Gonna be so exciting, i really pray. 

Still need to do some other stuff later on, all the small little details and all. So happy really. Really can't wait to see the outcome. 

Tmr's gonna be a very awesome day, doing visitation w my dearest leader Jieying the whole day and then dinner with the poly students. hahahahaha. 

Sometimes when we can't go the easy way, we use the the hard way. (of course the appropriate one la!!)

We're gonna take it by force. You will know what i mean soon la huh, nothing big also la. hahaha.

Heehee, but im so happy that i'm inside this plan, so i know what's gonna happen and i love my dearest members who calls me up to just tell me what's happening. 

Just looking forward to the carrying out of plan. (:

Exciteddddd.

When i was younger

Was with the Spastics talking about all the secondary & primary school times stuff. 

So amazing how time passes so quickly, and we're all almost 18s. 

Seriously till now, i dont know who reads my blog, and everytime someone tells me he/she reads my blog, i will be like omg seriously? i think my blog is the boring-est blog to read, serious chop. but thanks for bothering about my life. Makes me feel i'm a little important. haha. 

Had an awesome 29th people, EXCEPT THAT I'M NOT 18 & I CANNOT GO TO CLUB W FIONA THEY ALL & GET MY FREE DRINKS. :( 

It's like only 2 weeks more? so near yet so far. 

As usual, i know my limits if i'm getting to far yo. (:

18 in 15 more days, exciting yo. 

I remember those younger days where i would like count down to my birthday and put it on my msn nick or whatever to remind myself, those young days party where i will always plan myself, inviting my classmates and all. Sometimes when i look back, i feel stupid why i must have birthday parties, but another hand, i feel blessed, my parents to always allow me to have bday parties. dont think i can have another anymore tooo. hahaha.

2006 - HAHAHAHA JY AND JASMIN! Maggie & Leon!

2007 - bd party at home. this is jackjack, someone whom i knew since Primary school!!

2008- the year where O levels just crash my birthday. the day aft my birthday is O lvl science practical.

 
2009! the awesome grp of friends who brighten up my birthday last year when everything seriously :/ last year. Love you guys!


2010, just a year without tears on my birthday tyvm!
but tears of joy acceptable la. hahahaha, make myself like so ke lian like tt, but it's my 3rd year celebrating with Him, i know it's gonna be awesome. BUT WHY IS SO MANY PEOPLE LEAVING SINGAPORE ON MY BIRTHDAY? :( nvmmmm. hahaha.


Actually i'm still pretty much a kid, in my spastics and many's eyes. hahaha.
Simple things do make me happy :D
but simple things that i like though, a kid but hard to please. hahahaha.
*hinthint my angel Fiona*
(When Fiona reads this, i know her first reaction would be, who cares a * bout you HAHAHA, BUT I KNOW SHE LOVES ME :D 
Love ya bitch for being my angel & i know my birthday won't go wrong in your hands cuz you're awesome! hahaha, even if it does i still love you for being you! & the Spaz for being the Spaz! :D)


Actually deep inside everyone's heart, everyone wants something to happen they like on their birthday, regardless of how old they are, they always have this wish deep(individual) inside. True? 

Promises

Promises are not place in our hands, but place within our reach. - Dr Ar Benard

Like what he shared today, even if it is quite tough to reach for a cookie jar placed on a high shelf, as long as we move and reach for it, even though there's some pulling in the muscle, some tension but in the end, as long as we want it, we can reach and get it.

Gonna expect for something greater,
for greater things are coming!


Take all of me for more of you, 
All consuming fire
You're my heart's desire

Watch & Pray

Watch your THOUGHTS as it becomes your WORDS.
Watch your WORDS as it becomes your ACTIONS.
Watch your ACTIONS as it becomes your HABITS.
Watch your HABITS as it becomes your CHARACTER.
Watch your CHARACTER as it becomes your DESTINY.

Watch and pray. - Dr AR Benard

-----------------------------------------------------------

Had a great day today, even though i woke up at 2pm, slept at 5am again, deserve some sleep aft wrapping and making cards, gosh, reminds me i needed do it later too. Jiayou xy!

Planning, Visitation, Conference call w Adeline & boonz = awesome.

Really so glad to be in the plan of His, like sometimes i want to jump to the future to see how happy i will be at then, but i have to go thru all these little details first, before truly understanding the meaning of happiness and beauty and perfection. It's not about the destination but the journey.

Leader's meeting w Dr AR Benard again tmr, guess what, the first 3 sermons of my notebook is by him! So awesomeeee, i believe from the start from this notebook, breakthrus after breakthrus will be coming!

Every single details is plan by Him carefully, even though it's tedious, He continue to do it till perfection.
Photoshop is like sianzxz, but woooo i finished my work alrdy! So happy seriously, and with the help of Roxanne, i'm done soon! :D yayyyyy!

Excited for tmr!

Zero 2 Hero

Weee im back from camp & im back from the places i went. (:

Seriously on the whole of the camp, i think the kids are really an awesome bunch to be with, despite being 'force to join', i really feel they quite on in everything la. EXCEPT FOR THE OTHER OLDER FACI CO-LEADING W ME, idk what, but i think there's a very huge generation gap between the kids+i and him!

Like hello as faci leading them, we need to make them feel fun instead of scolding them yo, but yeah, can't blame him, he's 38, maybe he's a father and thinks differently. This is where generation gap happens! Show mercy xyz! he's only 20 years older. chillax.

But in the whole of the camp, i really had fun w the young kids despite them calling me fat :(

Dreams are always challenged, but challenges are what we live for.

In the whole camp, i learned alot about resilience, the ability to bounce back.
I realise people really give up so easily when they hit some wall, in times of hardship, or cause of bad habits, they give up. When i saw my kids in my team gave up easily, i was like, ahhhh. but thank God at the end of the camp, they were really stronger, and they worked tgt as a team, united.

Every Hero have monsters to defeat, and to be a stronger hero, continue to use my strength to pursue my visions, and slowly, it won't matter much whether i'm afraid to conquer. (:

Love you guys, Sharbell, Nicholas, Farid, Sharizal, Kok Seng, Yana! You guys made me enjoy my camp so much (cept for the other older faci, argh. MERCY XY!) & tt's the only thing tt didnt make me regret not going for cgm! :D Let's be Zero to HERO! (our team name! :D)

The next morning i was woken by Regent who stared at me. i wanted to sleep for another 5mins, then suddenly i felt, 有杀气！ open my eyes, AHHHH WHY YOU STARE AT ME, SO UNGLAM AHHH & my first reaction was *smack*, then she complain WHY YOU HIT MEEEEE?! LOL, but seriously scary sia.

Thank God SAC let me go off earlier so i dont have to cab down to JW church from Tamp Sec School! Even though i wore super cui to church on a saturday compared to normal and all the ppl i know in church was like staring but wooo~ SVC WAS AWESOME! :D Really love Dr AR Benard's semons all the time!

Woke up for S4 webcast and really, the prayer sermon was so in season!
WATCH AND PRAY comes hand in hand!

Headed out at night to meet kitkit josh boonz with jy!
Awesome night, EXCEPT FOR THE STARES.
I think i have issues with stares, why not change them to smiles :D
I like smiles better than stares, dont STOP & STARE k? STOP & SMILE! should write a song on it. hahaha. joking.

Long and lengthy post.
Sorrrryyyzxz

Tmr's gonna be fruitful day, w BS & visitation at Yewtee, meet up w my dearest young ones! :D
Oh Happy Day~

A vessel so clear

Always had this whole series of dreams that i really don't understand, but it seems like it's getting clearer at certain seasons, God would show me parts and parcels of how the dream is, the feeling and everything.

Seems creepy i know, but yeah, i'm still on my way to discover it.
Wonder what would it be, the full picture of these dreams.

Many things we really don't understand in our lives.
At certain parts of our life, we have this progression. When we're young and everything, our life seems so perfect, because we have our daddy and mummy to shelter us and give us everything we want. But as we grow up, we want more, that our parents thinks we're out of hand, and things around no longer seems so perfect like when we're a child. Everything starts to crash down like never before, everything is imperfect.

But slowly, there should be another growth in this mindset, where everything starts to turn perfect again. Not because really everything is perfect, but because we choose to ignore the imperfection of life and continue to go on with this life we have, happily, and good news, we're in control of our own life, our thoughts. (:


So the progression:
Perfect (without any problems) -> Imperfect (with problems) -> Perfect (even with problems)

Growth in this mindset.
Was reading thru my earlier letters to self just now, and just felt God in the room. I love my room! (:

Going for a camp on friday and saturday. (:
Be back on saturday! Gonna be an awesome camp!! :D


JINGYING YOUR PINK JACKET! you're in the video~ Svc 1! i love S1!!! :D

22

22 more days.
hahaha this is so old school by counting down, but really really really...
one wish for this year,

Just to have a very happy day.
:D

But i know by God's grace, i'm gonna have an awesome birthday,
with my family, friends, and people that i love. (:

Simplicity of a birthday,
happiness, presents, love ones.
& these, makes a very great birthday celebration. (:

That's all i ask for a day on 15 Oct, not the worse day of my life, but yeah HAPPY day :D

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

If anyone plays for me this song in future, i will melt sia. but seriously, who knows how to play a saxophone. and what are the chances? hahahha but...
SAXOPHONIST FOR THE WIN!
Pretty saxophone and awesome band. I MISS THE BANDDDDDDDDD. old band la, with all the old people. Seriously, i think tt time i was super on for band. i lost my skills alrdy!

Was talking to Jasmin and Gouwei, heeeheee.
If i'm a guy, i think i will be the best boyfriend, can play saxophone, guitar, sing cheyyyyyyy, haolian only. but i will definitely choose me as my boyfriend.

i'm too awesome.
CHEYYYYYY!
it's 5.19am, and we're still talking. HAHAHA.

A hero lies in you

When you feel that the world is crashing down, continue to praise.
This is just what i learned even deeper during this season, and for every season i go thru, there's always this little test in making in stronger in that particular area. & this time, it's about praising. I'm gonna praise even harder when bad things happen. not only just good times!

The vision is for an appointed time. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, for it WILL come to pass. (Hab 2:3)

Wait in praises. :D

Had a great fellowship with Dearest Yunting, Dot, Stanley, Jasmin and Gouwei!
Aft being home for 2 days. Gosh, parents are so weird you know.... when im not home, 'why you always like not home?!' when im home.... 'you got nothing to do iszit? go find work la!'

Hahaha but at the end of the day i always know, parents love us. :D
So it's okay for them to nag. Another thing i learn, not to talk back so quickly, but listen and listen. Listen to the full story, instead of heading to your own side of view that is only expose to you. Our eyes are always blinded.

No wonder the bible always says, Those who have eyes, let them see. those who have ears, let them hear. But see and hear the FULL thing. (:

I love Janice & Sonia!!! :D

old days again...

AND OMG I FOUND THIS PIC I WANNA FINDDDDDD.
My Tears of moon solo picture which i stand infront of the whole crowd in VCH and the band, playing a whole solo. awesome, can never ever forget this memory manzxz! I miss my saxophone alrdyyyy.

i think hor i look prettier last time, in certain pics.

I think if use this again i will look chui.

Sec 4 days.....

Your light will shine when all else fades

We need something to happen in our life in order for us to react and to respond to it.
& the way we respond to the thing happening in our life is the measure of our maturity.

Thru bad times or good times, our actions determines our character, not our thoughts. Out of the abundance of our heart, our mouth speaks, our actions follows too.

Another thing, I miss my Spastics & i love all my dear friends around me. :D
No matter what happens, i'm still very thankful for every single person placed around me, regardless whether they are seasonal friends, acquaintance or what so ever.

Really thru this whole season, i realise being happy is really about being content with what you have. If you're always not satisfied with what you have, you will never be happy.

"& some fell among THORNS... BUT others fell on GOOD ground & yielded a crop: some a hundred fold, some sixty, some thirty" (Matt 13:7-9)

The right thoughts falling on the right mind. Seeds that fall on thorns dies, seeds that fall on good ground flourish and spring up a harvest. More to ponder on it. Life is like this, always the good ground. Make our mind a good ground.

Pictures from long long time again, which is last month or something. hahaha!

@happydose
Favourite verse and card from me and kitkit
Kit with the stars cup! use it kkkkk kit? :D

Hair cut

I went to cut my hair today, but as usual la, everyone will be like EH NO DIFFERENT WHAT.

Was just thinking after i cut my hair, i really wanted to leave my hair long, and even if my hair is very dry, i dont care, just leave it. But i realise, if i continue to let my dry spoil ends continue to be there, in the end, the whole of my hair will be affected and the only way to help is to cut off the spoil ends so that new hair will grow healthily and with proper care, it will still grow back to that strength.

& it's the same as prayer, if my old life was so dry, i needa cut it off so it won't affect my growing life that is growing new roots.

Prayer life can be long, but it got to be healthy too.
Got to remember to always keep everything right w right maintenance. (:
Not just the heart, but the right attitude & maintenance so it won't get dry.

Glad i had a great talk w Jy today.
God is good. (:

When i trust

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Blessed is the man who TRUSTS in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And WILL NOT FEAR when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be ANXIOUS in the year of drought, Nor will case from yielding fruit.

When i trust, i will not fear, nor will i get anxious.

While running ytd, i was just thinking, the possible reason why leaves fall from the tree other than they are old and are supposed to die. and so i went to google-ed, and most common one is because they are lacking of the necessary nutrients that they need in order to stay healthy, esp one impt source, water.

Got to keep trusting and trusting, even if... I kind of revisited my young memories again and saw all the memories i collated, and found out so many things again. but oh well, it's all the past, and i'm not hindering my future with my past aft the long long qt.

Was reading this a few weeks ago, where it said it's alright to go back to your memories to find out why you're feeling ways you are right now. Just go back to it and put a right FULL STOP, instead of a ',' to that memory. Always know tt memories that happened are '.' not a ',' so it won't hinder you in the future.

& when i was flipping the bible, my bookmark was on this page where i anyhow slotted in and i saw this highlighted verse. God is good.

& everytime i'm discouraged, i will remember Galatian 6:9.

Let justice and praise become my embrace

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Praise is most difficult when you're not feeling okay,
but it's the most precious, when you decided to give it.

In all times, just like King David, through many bad times still he said, 7 times a day i will praise.
Got to learn the art of losing myself.

He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. (Matt 10.39)

Not my will,

But Yours be done. (:

My Life, Your Song

Went for this random run at 9 going to 10pm plus aft svc + fellowship just now. Super awesome, not as in running, but just running and having soultime.

Svc's msg by PK was really in season.

危机.

Dangerous yet there's an opportunity.

Was just thinking just now, where-ever i go is so inconvenience to do anything i wanna do. Seriously, is there any places where i can get myself free without anyone there.

But i know my God is greater, greater than what i'm thinking, and my ways.

& don't assume anything.

It's gonna be just for this season & this season will pass soon.

& aft this season, im gonna be stronger.

It's for FREEDOM!

IT'S FREEEDOMMMMMMMM!

end of paper, and i studied hard for it. and omg, i didn't know where T1544 was and i was running around finding that classroom, in the end i was late, but thank God took up only my reading time of 6 mins plus??

Thank God it's all over! :D

Went to have solitude time with myself at Clementi. gosh, like loner, but really i thank God during those timing, i came up w my offering msg, praise msg and all. :D

Had this camp briefing and seriously, it was so inspirational. Everyone is a hero and we have monsters to overcome. I really feel i see my dream in this job line/field. Gonna help out in this camp next friday which means im gonna miss cgm, like omg. sian... but it's gonna be awesome la, and rushing down to svc after camp next week!

Had cgm and it was good! I like what Jieying shared, and during worship i just saw this vision so in season and what jieying shared was too.

Everyone have different seasons to shine. Sun in the day, Stars in the night. Doesn't mean you don't shine now, you won't shine later. God is good.

Maybe i just got to learn to wait, especially for this character for mine. The longer the journey and the longer i strive, in future i will learn to treasure it so much more. So yeah, Xy continue praying and pursue it! Jy xy!

Read this in Psalms 119:161-164

161 Princes persecute me without a cause, But my heart stands in awe of Your word. 162 I rejoice at Your word As one who finds great treasure. 163 I hate and abhor lying, But I love Your law. 164 Seven times a day I praise You, Because of Your righteous judgments.

7 times a day, regardless of how i feel, even if i hate things around or being persecuted, still 7 times a day i shall praise.

Jiayou Xy!

Another season to pass yo! :D

You're still good

Feeling how i felt during Sec 4 when i wasn't chosen for SYF. Haha, But this time, im not as weak as that time. I confess!

God you are good, always good.
Guess it's time to conquer those feelings and thoughts. It's just seasons!
Last paper tmr, i can do it, even with all this bad memories and current thing haunting me again. 3 plus more chapters!

Maybe....

Whatever. Don't like it when i keep my expectations so high seriously.

SO PLS STUDY!

Just ranting, i went running just now and completed 2.5km in 15mins. achievement for me k!

aiyah nothing's too big for xy, will be gone after awhile.

Love the way you lie

I wanna celebrate and live my life,
Baby hey yo, baby let's go~

TALENTED PERSON, all the parts are sang by him! wooohooo!
mixture and blends and guitar and keyboard all, but by diff people. Music can be made up by so many aspects and when mix tgt, it becomes so beautiful!

I woke up when i saw Jieying's sms and i was so excited. Like i got 2 sms before Jieying's sms, but i didn't woke up. hahahah. sorry guys before jieying's sms.
Like usually i only lead one aspect of thing in cgm, but this time she asked me to lead 3 things, Like omg, im so blessed. Tmr's exam, but i know by God's grace, i am able to have a good msg for offering and bring in God's presence tmr! wooo~

& I TWEETED:
@xinyingzz: I will always thank God that someone out there is believing in me, regardless whether if there's only one, I'm already very thankful! :D

Even if there's only one person who believes, it will make me go forward! Cause i dont want to disappoint that person who wastes his/her energy to believe in me. Imagine 100 believes in you, and you fall, how much will it affect tt person who believe in you. expectations being let down. maybe i think too much. hahaha!

Thankfulness, thank God for everything in my life. or if you don't believe in God, be thankful for everything in your life.

That's why it's a habit whenever i write cards for people i will always thank them for who they are in my life, like i will thank till half of the card gone or whatsoever, cause they really played a part in my life and i really thank God for them, and them being them. (:

I got alot of principles in my life, and thankfulness is one of them.
May i always always remember to be thankful and not complain and be contented with what i have :D

happy times!

In all, learn to treasure the happy times!

& was thinking...
When people give you their time, it's a gift.
Always treasure your time w people who are w you!

God is good, & best thing, He's always w us.
How much more should we treasure Him, but when He's gone..
:( one thing i dont ever ever want is to lose Him.

When all doesn't matter anymore

I always always choose to believe in one thing.

Even when i'm alone, i will say I'm not alone, cause there's Him around. When people decided to throw me one side and leave me alone, i will choose to think another way to make myself better.

Even when the situation seems like it's crazy and stupid and retarded and i wanna bang wall and die, i will still stand strong regardless of what happen.

The biggest war always happens inside my mind/heart/soul but never outside, cause i never ever want anyone to see my struggles, i will never ever want to be a burden to anyone.

Well at least that's what i think, and i'm aiming for that.

So that all my struggles and whatsoever won't be seem, so nobody would ever ever know. why should i be so transparent to everyone?!

So i pray, whatever shyts that happen to me, God let me be stronger. Even when people don't know or understand, or dont even bother to hear my explanations, let me be content that i have you.

You're more than enough.

I wanna be like this boy, positive thoughts!

Had a good day w Fiona and Graced for this job thingy briefing, but got to take up my saturdays, so i decided to give it up. Went to vivo to meet josh and boonz.

Life's good.
I'm still loving my life.

There's 2 sides of the story, what do you wanna believe?

Own stages

Was just thinking about this today. After what has happened like today, kinda disappointed bout it. But life goes on. Haha.

Every one of us have really different stages and levels in our life. Like seriously, regardless of age, cause older age doesn't determine you're more mature or anything. We will have different kind of views towards certain things.

Like it's true everyone have different stages of mentality, everyone will also have different aspect in life with different stages of certain mentality, views.

Like eg, (not pointing to anyone, just random example)

You're 21 and you know when your parents is scolding you, you shouldn't scold back but you shout back and dishonour them by rude crude words, but in terms of work and studies, you strive and always the best cause you're a very very good leader.

or..

You're serving in church in a ministry and love God alot, but in school being young, you're just another normal kid scolding teachers and always getting punished.

Like this kind of combination, we can see like this person is so so.

It's just like in some areas we attain a certain mentality which is good(that's good), but in some certain areas, we're still quite/super bad in it. It's just like, sometimes not all things in our life is really so balanced and we're never perfect in everything, and we should all know it.

Everyone also have different kind of experiences/trials/tests to strengthen their own individual life in some certain areas, but when one area is being strengthen, eg in honouring parents, some other areas are not really built up, eg studies still being neglected.

But don't be super jia liat in a certain area that you can't change it at all.

Seriously you might not understand what i'm typing cause i seriously dk how to phrase everything, but what i wanna say is that, not everyone is perfect. But don't judge one person just because one of the certain area in his/her life is not strong, like her studies is not good, that means she's dumb and you condemn that person. Cuz you don't really know him/her yet.

Everyone have different talents and gifts, different characters and personality. & it's not up to us to judge anyone i feel. cause in the end, what is important is when one is willing to just humble and let down all pride to just get going and change to be a better person in future.

Most imptly, put down all pride, ego. High and big ego and pride only kills your character, in the end, actions proves your character. Everything in our life can change, but our characters sets everything in our life. Let's all aim to be better people? (: If you're not willing to change, then.. it's okay.

There's just something missing in this post i wanna say, & idk how to say la.

but yeah, let all motive and intentions be pure and good, but i still believe in sowing and reaping. You sow a good thought, God will give you good things, eg relationships w ppl, good studies.

Let everything be of good intentions and continue to aim for perfection with a pure heart.

Heart is what it matters.

To end off...
Everyone have diff stages and levels to grow through. & 4 diff stages and levels, we need diff kind of strength and mentality and grace.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So wordy, but blaw was okay today, left hall early cuz i was so distracted for idk what reason. Went suntec in the afternoon, met Rayvin with Roxanne, and lunched, exam, dinner at Best coffeshop to meet Roxanne, then Vivo with my dearest Grandson & son, Josh and Boonzboonz + Roxanne!

Awesome day! looking at boonzboonz fall while jump shots, taking lotsa pictures, ending another paper, chilling and talking. All with my beloved friends. I know greater things are still coming! :D

Life goes on after trials and tests and stupid things.

Why dwell on it when nothing changes? Life's good. Good life.

God's good. Good God!

I'm still low on iron and headaches keep coming. WHYYYY! be gone in Jesus name!

& i love Jieyingggg!! :D

CONGRATTSSSSSSS!

CONGRATS CONGRATS

JASMIN ROXANNE NG LIU XIU

ON BAPTISM!!! :D:D

970 times, make me so happy, first time using the counter and it came to pass!! woohooo~

& i was like baby baby baby oh~

HELLO ALL, ACCORDING TO BOONBOON, MY GRANDSON, I AM LADY RAHRAH. The hippy ah ma! :D

Firstly in my post, i wanna say, I AM FEELING SUPER OKAY AND NOT AFFECTED BY ANY SORT OF STUFF, rather i think breakthru is here! (: awesome!

Secondly, I know Jasmin is reading my blog & she's checking my blog till i post a new post & I WANNA SAY THANK YOU TO MY DEAREST DEAREST JASMIN NG LIN XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIU XIUUUUUUU!

This was us then!
this is us recently when im still a little fatter than now. WE WILL LOOK BETTER IN FUTURE, LIKE MORE AWESOMEEE :D

Thanks for saying yes straight away to meet me ytd like at 11plus when i call/sms! & WOOHOOO definitely the HS was speaking to you to sms me yo! YOU ROCK ON YOUR DISCERNING! :D PJ too! :D

For the chinese A1 student to read:

谢谢你陪我在篮球场上一起躺下来，毕竟你在wear白色的shorts &不会 paiseh 当我讲话很大声的时候还有在ROFL(rolling on the floor laughing). 谢谢你可以站(stand)我所有的废话! 我认为今年确实是为我们的友谊在增长的一年之一，只得从辉煌走向辉煌. LIKE BOOMZ.

感谢这么多ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄ我和我一起去疯狂和我半夜吃roti prata(普拉塔瓦特)，接受我的妈妈最责骂，来我家，让我去你家。与其他IDK的，但是你知道我是多么爱你！这些是无法用言语来表达 but yeahhhhhh~

Google transalate this:
if you're a man, i will love you till i die, but you're my beloved, so i still love you till i die.

To this:
如果你是一个男人，我会爱你到我书房(????)，但你是我心爱的，所以我仍然爱你，直到我死.

ROFL, WHAT'S WITH 书房???
HAHAHA!

Thirdly, I didnt regret anything i have done ever since 3 years back to everything i done till today, cause some things only have to be done to make us grow. & it's better than doing nothing right? but do the right thing la!

i dont mind the strong PO everyday about church since the day im in church till even today. Sian but i dont mind, cause i know even if Plan A fails, there's other plans to back me up till i succeed to the day it's complete!

Making a decision is the hardest thing but the right one leads you to a higher ground.

This is my tweet tweet ytd! Seriously guys! Making a decision was super hard, many times i tried to run away, but i realise, running away doesn't seem to solve anything, same thingy i did with my ma, heehee but everytime i ran away, the problem ran after me.

But when i stopped and face that problem, and i tried to conquer that every thought, and changed my mindset, i was happier than everything. So i learned, never ever to run away.

If you're having exams, PLS DONT RUN AWAY NOW. FACE YOUR BOOKS. that line was for me, i have blaw exam tmr.

Fourthly, I LOVE MY FRIENDS. Joshua and Boonzboonz all started to sms me ytd like randomly and asked if im okay and all. Where can i find friends like this from? My dearest son and boonzboonz. IM OKAY PEOPLE!

I love Jieying & Kelvin for all the encouragements. heeeeee~
I love Joshua & Boonzboonz!

I love Jasmin!

I love Jingying, tt even when i didn't tell her anything she knows. BUT DONT ANYHOW SAY THINGS.

I love all the other people who are my friend!

Fifthly, i learned, always think before i speak. If it's the past, let it pass on. Don't even mention it again. In case wrong things happen and we need to start doing some clarification. Omg, just totally reminded me of my Sec 3 and 4 blog fight with people. SO LAME, scolding on blogs, shoot here and there. Reminded me that i'm a old blogger. hahaha.

Sixthly, i had this big fight w mum ytd, hahaha, but yeah, i learned what she really wants loh. She wants action! So if i wanna my breakthru, i shall do what she wants me to do! Thanks Jy for always being wo de ti si gui. YOU'RE A GHOST!

谢谢你那么的爱我！我们一定可以把这个我们不喜欢的东西变得非常的好！你是我永远最棒的妹妹！所以不要以为我不爱你！因为是我把你带进着的世界的！你要感动一下和永远的爱我！

Actually is so hao xiao, cause i think my chinese chui alrdy! Part of it i use translator. LOL.

LASTLY, I think im a very blessed kid, and all things work all good for those who love the Lord! :D & seriously nothing is gonna bring me down, don't think small things can bring me down, it's not a tough time but a gloriest time, as long as no one knows what happen!

I LOVE MY DEAREST FRIENDS.

& IT'S TIME TO STUDY!

Heehee

Kit-o don't love me. :( HEEEE JOKING.
Kit says i dont have my own originality, and i think so too. hahaha, i think this thing about following people aft like a while with them. that's funny huh! i'm being wooohooo today.

I CANNOT GET KIT'S TYPING LA. SO IRRITATING.

Anyway i seriously have this habit of having weird sleeping timings but Thank God for His grace! I have strength. haha, actually this post won't be like my normal post, cause i'm distracted. hahah!

Really like what Pst Phil preached today. Guard my heart, a broken heart loses vision and dreams, so yeah i pray for the right heart. Had this very awesomely awesome vision during worship just now and i shared with Eileen just now.

Really i thank God for awesome sisters around me! People like KIT(BHB, no la, YOU'RE THE BEST!), Eileen, Jingying, Karuna and more... Really so willing to be like there and to share! Love you girls! Thanks for being so awesome! :D

I still firmly believe breakthrus are coming, and really God is good! heeeheee :D

Anwwwwww, My word my bond, FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS. :D

JIEYING IS BACK TO S1! SO HAPPY!!!!!!! :D

Today high ttm i think. Not enough sleep makes you crazy.

Serious.

I MUST

Had been 2 long days without sleep alrdy!

Went City College to study, then BS. & Went to airport to send Kit's mum off yesterday and studied too. So i kinda only studied 1 day for my cbm, gosh, i really pray for extra grace of strength and wisdom ytd like crazy. Was super stress aft doing the quiz for bs.

Paper was okay today. Seriously only had like maybe 1 hour plus of sleep? Floor is nice to sleep when you're tired. Then gave BS, helped out w the games for the WYZ district meeting and meeting starts!

Really, i'm super happy that like i seriously had the energy to pass the day.

I like what PZ preached today, I AM, I MUST, I CAN!

Like ever since idk when, i had this i-must thing in me, that no matter what happens, i must go for service and cgm no matter what. that even when i'm sick w high fever or whatever, there will be this special grace that comes and let me be able to leave the house for my i-must do thing. Thank God!

But yeah, i guess there's a greater i-must coming, i must i must.

Really, i feel this season is to really rely my physical strength on Him. Been sleeping at weird timings, not sleeping on certain days, days with only 1 to 4 hours of sleep. really, i really come to learn, the end of me is the beginning of Him and i'm treasuring it so much more. It's the time of learning to connect both flesh & spirit tgt!

Just now PZ was just telling us about this and i wrote,

Your time will come...
Keep waiting... sometimes awkward.. but i must step out.

Can't speak well, but just laugh, but i must step out.

Slowly but surely.. when the moment comes, Let's go.

Okay, it's time, cause I must became i can!

My star campaign is still on! & i know the stars are slowly but surely coming to pass. Cause He who begin a work shall be faithful to complete it!

& now, I MUST be so focus.

I dont need to prove to anyone what or who i like or don't like, cause sometimes it gets too tiring to explain what others say, i dont need to prove how good or bad i am, and i don't need to prove so many other things. Maybe sometimes it's good just to be still and know He is God, that's why sometimes i choose to do nothing in certain areas.

Just one thing to say,

My eyes is only set to my vision for now.

Nothing else but Him.

Confession is power

& i feel i really have this confession power in me.

Whoever i confess for, things happen for them, like Jieying & Stanley. Heeeeheeee.

I'm such a powerful person, but of cuz by the grace of God. need anything for me to confess? Let me know!!

& i pray for more of this power by the grace of the Holy Spirit!

TYJ!

So excited for these coming 6 months! FOCUS, SO MUCH MORE FOCUS XYZ!!!

Nothing's gonna stop me from my pursuit.

Awesome

Had a very awesome time again praying w dearest Angel & Jasmin.

Really, like first time this certain combination, but yeah we feel the atmosphere, the same spirit who have this desire to just breakthru in the spirit, our zone, for our love ones. woohooo. Thank God for sisters like them. Love you two!

Aft prayer i met Kit & shun bian take mrt w Jasmin & Boonz Boonz Powz. Had a good time with dearest Kit again and then we seriously like nua only!

Really, i don't get it why i'm not satisfied at times when actually there are so many awesome people surrounding me. Dissatisfaction causes harms at times for certain situation, but we got to learn the right time to be dissatisfied, and how much we must be. If not it leads to emo-ish-ism.

& we also must know when to be satisfied and know that we're actually living a very blessed life already. Learn to treasure and learn to love yo.

Starting to love my life all over again.
Greater things are coming.

I pray every single one of you reading my blog, be blessed at this very second!
& you will be blessed if you believe you are! Jia you!
Meanwhile, STUDY LIM XIN YING, grace and wisdom Jesussss!!

P.S. im starting to believe i have small eyes :(

Awesome young ones with me! :D All 3 years and younger than me. woohoo im old! Love ya Karrr! :D You prayed super awesome-ly at Kel zone meeting! greater things are coming to you!! :DLove ya Jy, thanks for loving me even when im not the best best sister on Earth. I'm trying! Always praying for you k! :D love love~

&& I conclude, i can try to look less chui IF i want too, i think i'm one girl that doesn't like to dress up on normal weekdays. Diff case when i go church. gosh. im weird, i think im chui till next time mei ren yao. but it's okay! heeeheee. people got to accept my chui-ness.

Serious, but why must we dress nice leh?! :(

blessed

Still overwhelmed by the meeting ytd.
Had very good day of fellowship! (:

Just very blessed by people around me, people who are in the midst of going thru their trials and tribulations, yet they still stand strong. God bless these people, regardless who they are, i feel whoever is going thru any emotions disruption but still stand strong, deserves a very very big clap cause everyone knows how hard it is to pass by a certain situation where we hate for it to happen.

Another thing, I'm proud to say that i have this awesome best friend who is only a sec 1, turning 13 in a few months time. Someone who is so mature for her age (hey not because im immature k?!), standing strong regardless of whatever. Someone who always flows with me, take time out to spend time with me, listens to me, talks to me and stand my nonsense. Someone who knows how i feel at time, exactly. Someone whom i really treasure alot! I love you Kit!! & i'm always always here for you regardless what happens k!? :D

I'm so grateful of what is gonna happen in this 6 months, cause i know this 6 months will be so much more focus and concentration on what i wanna pursue and wanna build on. Just so great to know i am in the right flow, right movement.

Just so thankful, that people are willing to trust me at times. Really so blessed, and sometimes this is just what i want and couldn't find before. but thank God, things changed, and i'm here in my life. Loving everything though not all is perfect but like boonz said,

@vintageproduct: Christians are imperfect people worshipping a perfect God.

Sometimes people tell me i'm in a different world, even my Christian friends might feel it too. i think that's just me. Unless im really open to you, then you will be in my world. (:

So blessed to have awesome people around me.

But even more blessed to have awesome people on fire around me. (:

Awesome fellowship w Jy Kit Joel Yeeliang Dylan Denise Meiqi Weisiang Pam & Rayvin Jieying Boonz later on! (: God is good!

Tired again but soul is glad. (:

A everlasting fire on the altar

Really very very blessed to be serving in this awesome zone with awesome leaders, musos, singers, DGs and members and my favourite Jieying & W524!

Today is just such an awesome day really, like ever since the run, to the meeting, to the fellowship.

Was really struggling to wake up and go for the run, but i had this "thing" that keeps prompting me to go for the run. So i did, i can say i didnt run my best, cause i was just enjoying the whole thing, stoning, thinking and all.

Was just thinking that in this run, we paid for the price in the beginning, decided to put down this certain timing to run, and during this race, it rained, we're dripping with sweat, yet it's covered by the rain and no one knows how "irritating" and "sticky" it is but deep inside our hearts we know it's terrible.

Just reminded me of this life time race i signed myself up for, paying the price to run, yet if i don't turn up for the run, i'm wasting my price that i paid in the beginning. though tears are still there but people can't see, i should be encouraged that He knows it all.

My life is just like this run in the rain, but i didn't regret not going for it. I am a good finisher!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So aft the run, i headed to church and then started practising for the P&W w awesome muso team who put in time and effort to practise so hard, and we prayed tgt as one. Really, im so glad i'm given this chance to meet with this group of awesome people, people who are humble and willing to be used by God. Thank you Edwin & Jodie for being so awesome, Alvin Jonal Gary Schumann for being awesome brothers!

Meeting was so awesome. Esp ministry time. I was like, oh man, i wanna go down, really really really. But yeah, then i was just praying, God i pray someone will come lay hands on me pls? abit impossible cuz leaders all praying for others, but i felt this atmosphere building around and Edwin prayed for me. Thank you Edwin! really very blessed.

Blessed by the word, offering msg, worship and all. Who says when you're serving you can't feel God. I gave something special today, and kinda after the whole meeting, God kinda answered 2 of my memorial prayers. So blessed.

So had this mini talk w 2 special ppl, and then really, it hit me that woah, God did speak to me the right things, and to that special person too, the same flow. & something that hits me. I really believe the words He spoke will come to past. TYJ!

Of all else, I'm letting all.
Nothing compares to Your embrace, Light of the world forever reign.



& with every breakthrough comes a trial. But i will be strong and keep fighting on, just like the 6km run just now. The thing just now about 6km run is not that i'm tired, but i suddenly got this bad stitch(sp?) till now. Even during the race when it's painful, i will not stop moving forward or give up on the race.

I'm feeling super awesome aft the run, & omg aft the race, i walk like confirm around 3 4km in heels? Had to walk home from interchange again and all.

But woohooo, tiring day(7h of sleep in 2 days) yet my soul is glad.

I ought to be sleeping now! Just feeling too happy to sleep!

Go rest xy.

& I love you Kit! even when you made me cry! hahaha.

Sleepless night

I decided to off com this morning, and then i started to try to sleep. After rolling on the bed and walking around lvl 1 of my house and kitchen (never eat anything hor!) for like 2 hours plus, i gave up and decided not to sleep and meet mum aft she end work.

Anw,She kept complaining i don't want to see her in the morning cuz usually at this timing i would still be sleeping so it's good..

So i tried to sleep again a my favourite sofa, but i fail! the favourite sofa tt can make me fall asleep anytime, but i fail!!!!! :( so i went running at 7.30am & complete my 3km and my favourite exercise corner! & Im having 6km run tmr, God bless me and my friends. haha.

So im heading to church in another 30mins or so, to study, for pract then meeting then svc then fellowship! Gonna be a happy day!

&&& i'm not stress or anything thats why i cannot sleep, i just cant seem to fall asleep, don't ask me why! Everything happens for a reason! hahaha.

Guess no one reading too, just ranting!

Byee~

Love

The riches of Your love will always be enough

doggy

&&&&&& i love love love these kind of dogs!
Was walking and walking to Jo's and then i just said 'hi' to the dog similar to above, and he jump on me and wanted to lick me! OMG CUTE TTM & he/she understands me! heee~

I wanna get this kind of dog when i get my own hs next time! cuz mum will never ever allow me to have a dog...

okay, im suppose to sleep. bye!

Empty street

I like it when i'm walking on an empty street alone. maybe i should just do that and forget about taking bus hor? Cause walking is exercising, and then save 71cents. lol! but main point is the peace and quietness, walking on the empty streets w no one behind or infront. Being free. Love it! (sounds like some siao char bo, but im not!)

I did all my happy things today!

Bball-ing, praying! Actually 2 small things can make me happy! :D

I think my aiming for bball getting back in form alrdy! :D so happy, maybe i should keep going to pract for fun sia!

Had this mini prayer meeting @ Joel's hs w Jasmin Gouwei Yeeliang Weiyang Joel! very awesome really! praying w a group of like-minded people! thank God for Joel''s hs and him leading!

I really feel intercessing for other people is such an awesome and joyful thing! & i hope the people whom im praying for is really riding on my prayers, not saying that my prayers are so powerful, but at least God hears it and bless them!

I think hor, i got a very very nan ting de talking voice. I pray my singing voice wont be nan ting too! pls pls, that's the only thing tt can save me in my future. no image alrdy sia! :(

Today on the way home i was just thinking to set my mind right, to always stay focus to go forward. I remember this very thing Rae said before, if we're not moving forward or growing, we're not stagnant. but we're actually de-proving, moving backwards instead. So i pray i never ever be stagnent, cuz there's not such thing as stagnant!

I needa sleep and rch church early early tmr! byeee!

Guard my heart

Ytd i was writing my old diary, heee, so happy. Wrote like 5 pages plus for 1 hour. Realise it's actually quite cool to write down every thoughts of yours, so you can actually gather them tgt to see which are the right ones, and which are the ones that are wrong so you can cast/reject them out.

Was reading the little, the big things i went thru, hah and funny things is that as i was reading i was crying together w it. I wonder how was the time i went thru all that, the tears must be more then this morning's. & aft reading all that, all i felt was thankfulness.

I was just thinking, to be an acquaintance is actually so easy, but to be a close friend to share deep down secret is actually so difficult, to earn that certain trust, to have the certain atmosphere to share, that certain friendship that both understands.

okay,actually i feel that im having a slight fever with weird stomach upset, and then wanna puke cannot puke. Seriously, i havent been puking since P3 or something, but i don't like it aft i puke, cause i look like a purple freak, but i love purple right? nvm. but im strong, havent been sick for a long time, break my record!

Bball tmr, 6km run on sun, svc on sat, zm on sun. God... i dont wanna fall sick now. :(

Happy Birthday @kukunugget

Thanks for all the encouragements & hangouts dearest Sarah!

Sarah is a very very awesome name heeee~

Greater things are coming your way and i know it cause you're a great person who loves God! Very thankful to know you ever since that SP/NP vibez meeting, this year is gonna be the best year yet. Thanks for being one of my faithful readers of this very very the sian blog!

Love you many many many,

@xinyingzz

Looking back

"All the bad things are tests God is putting me through & God wants me to be stronger. I know i can do it, because my God is able, thus i am able. :)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

This is just a random looking back thing, i look back on my very last diary i actually have and it was dated 31 Dec 2008. That ending of the years was super horrible but really, that year was the greatest cause i got to go to church. & even when i was ending that horrible year, i wrote those things above. Woo like so full of faith.

Maybe it's time again to really really know that if God is able, i am able too.

Thru out this 2 years, God built me up on certain other things, but now, it's time to dig down again to search whether my foundation is right and what other things need to be strengthen on. & If something's wrong, i got to rebuild it out again.

Realise that in my heart ever since then, was this huge problem i cannot solve, till now & no one knows. But then, it's okay. God will still make a way, cause He's able.

Xy, you got to be stronger to change!

Oh & awesome day celebrating Sarah sarah sarah tay's birthday w Jasmin Yunting Gouwei Eileen Yanni Joel Dorothy. Awesome~ and very awesome bs by Weiren today. A close to 2 hours bs actually felt like super short cause it's like so interesting. If only i could find all this enthusiasm in my studies. lol!

God's good, just so amaze to read back my past diary. Should start on it again. Pin down all my thoughts that shouldn't be revealed here. & let this place be a graveyard. cheyyyyy, im not dead.

Bye~