tears

想哭的冲动
开始在失去以后

We cry almost every time we lose something precious to us.
But i realise, crying is just a process of growing up, tears makes us stronger! Idk why 2009 and 2010 are like crying years, but after crying like a baby for these 2 years, maybe 2011 will be a better year? cause a baby will grow up!

I lost much, i gain alot too.
Life is simple, but idk why i like to look in a complicated way.

Maybe it's just time to simplify my thoughts, maybe it's because i'm not doing maths anymore, that's why i multiply more than i divide. okay no link!!! hahahah.

Divide my thoughts, so when i divide them, i can see things in a more simple way, then i will know what God is doing in my life.

Time to prayy!! :D


范逸臣's 不说出的温柔

(Heard it yst at Xinwang & it caught me.)

"是我你好吗
没什么事
只是想知道你好不好
这是我最后一次打给你了
希望你好好照顾自己"

Like emo sioh the on top lyrics, it's just random seriously.
He sing until so got feel loh! Maybe it's time for chinese songs after a long long time! (:

thankyew bingrong for sticky!
thank yew jasmin for you! in reply to your blog post, if you guy i will consider you! heehee! but you must master writing songs and be wen rou! almost hit every of my criterias! hahaha. but chey, you're my good goodie frienddd!!!

P.S: no more koi cute guy, i was kidding bout it in the first place anywayyys.

Create in me, a new heart

Time to grow up, and grow out of so many things.
Xy, time to let your word be your bond so much more.

It's actually surprising how people can change so much, either good or bad, in just either a short or long period of time.
I have this friend, who use to be quite jialiat, but now changed because he/she went to church and was transformed. & yst during worship, i saw all the leaders being captured on screen, they too went thru so much to be able to be where they are, not for glory nor for fame. but just a pure heart to serve.

This heart, i wanna learn.
David's heart, a heart after God.

I wanna transform too.

Inception makes me think so much, especially what one person can plant into one's mind.

Whatever we say or do or act actually affects one person's thoughts, and an idea will spread across the whole mind like cancer affecting the person actions.

That's the low level explanation of the movie, the movie is so deep that i dont mind watching it the 2nd time.

Maybe it's time to be still and let God fight for me.

It's night time.

Not gonna be..

A DOUBLE-MINDED PERSON.

& Take the wrong step of faith.

Gonna ask where's the right way, instead of my own feelings and emotions.

Wisdom, praying prayers.

Replacement?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULINEEE!!!

So surprise you actually read my blog, and hope you're reading this now!!

Thanks for being my singing buddy all these years, since primary school when we play our pingpong, to secondary school FPX on psc nite to Hildan Superstar to performing for founder's day singing hymms, all these singing memories in school, with you! :D So glad you're always so on with singing tgt with me!

Keep on believing in your dream! I believe in you!!!
Thanks for always standing all my nonsense! Love you so much!!! :D

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last week Deanna's bd at Highlanders!:D

I had a very very awesome time w my Spastics today, and it has been such a long time since i spent my whole day w them. Really, even though most of the time we're slacking and waiting for Pauline to finish her piano, i just like the time when they are just around around. just physically around. so comforting! hahaha.

Had lunch at the N something, and then everyone ate finish their meal and then dessert was coming up, and i was like omg i havent finish my chicken CHICKEN, and the waiter serving us, burst out laughing and said sorry. & whole table echoed after his laugh.

1) Spaz wasn't laughing at me, cause they're used to it.
2) They are laughing at the waiter who laughed at me.
3) What a life, even people who don't know me, laugh at me. that explains the stares from people when i'm outside. hahaha!

& then i was like paiseh. seriously. & he came to clear my dish, "so can i clear your chicken CHICKEN?" just -.-!

Had a good time today really! & then surprise paupau aft her class, and then L4D-ed. i was smart, i didn't play, but idk why i still got my headache and puking symptoms. No fighting things infront of me, explains why i dont like fighting shows with lots of blood. fighting w/o blood im fine :D

Really very happy today, thanks Spaz, everyone of you & Happy Birthday paulinee!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Was thinking about this today,
Nothing can actually replace the time you spent with anyone.
Maybe on this random day you went out with someone, the memory will always be there, and no matter what you do, it is a fact it happened before. So i came to a conclusion, replacement for certain things are bull-shit.

No one will replace anyone for his/her place.

& i don't believe in subsitutions, you're there once, you will be there forever, unless some things changes la (there's still exceptions, depends). But i'm a rather faithful/loyal person, you're there before, forever there.

Substitutions are not allowed xy.
That's why, i wanna let my friends know, you guys will never be replaced or anything.

You're buried deep in my heart :D

失去了不能从来

我难过的是忘了你忘了爱
尽全力忘记我们真心相爱
却忘了告诉你失去的不能从重来

5566'a 我难过！

MVP qing ren is actually my first idol drama loh, partly because of it, i like basketball! hahaha, omg talking bout bball, WHEN AM I ACTUALLY GONNA PLAY BBALL!!! :(

What a awesome day, i actually wore quite nice to school today, skirt w heels, i think first time nicer than going to church. hahaha! i think presentation wasn't tt bad. today i kinda surprise some of my friends? so this shows, dont look down on people who wear shorts to school, they can dress up too! but back to my shorts tmr. heehee. :D

headed to @happydose's place there the macs to eat. missed my stop, took a bus back and fell on the bus, gosh. ps sia.. ate, listen old songs. & then aft all tt when i wanted to go home, she randomly, impromptu-ly said, let's go ECP to run and i was wearing like the above, and then i changed to run.

Proud of myself, 3.6km of running/jogging. good good, keep it up, got to lose weight.

Had a coolz revelation, and thanks Jas! I love the breeze of ECP, always wanted to go there since idk when, finally back there, and woohooo. vivo and ECP are gonna be my favourite place and hangout!

ALL MY PRESENTATIONS THIS WEEK ENDED. Wow, thank God!!!
eye bagggssss

dearest friends i hang out with in school. <3 though sometimes we can't click superly well, but that's what friends are for.

失去了不能从来

Don't lose your wallet, cause it wont really come back. Don't miss the chance you have, or it wont come back. Dont lose your friendship w one person, or it wont come back. So many things you can actually lose, and it really depends on what you want, you don't want something, you can easily lose it and let go.

What do you want to lose actually?
Sometimes it's better to actually better to lose something to gain something bigger. example losing your face, you get to maybe save a friendship that you're actually gonna lose. It's just choices we got to make.

All goes down to what we want actually.

Our decision, what do we want.

Precious

I knew my chalks would come in use some times... hahaha. didn't waste my money~

Life is so precious. Now we have it, next moment, we might not have it.

Always wonder what would it be like, if this world is without me. haha, but guess i will never know, and nah, i wont go kill myself now. I will only go to heaven when Jesus wants me to.

Ever asked this question that what will happen when i die, and my friends said "less one retarded, irritating friend", hahaha but i know... they dont mean it, they love me :D heehee.

Life is so fragile, but as long as we don't die with regrets, that's the best thing alrdy.
So i should change my policy in life, to not live with any regrets, anything i wanna do, just do it. nah, shall consider it again.

I still like my song, it will be one of the songs in my playlist for the next few weeks.

Faith is the word now. coolz, like it when bs links with my life one way or the other. (:

God is good.

I'm happy my projects are coming to an end soon!
But i got to write a 15 page report for RWPS, presentation for it 2 weeks ltr, and psychology counselling trial 2 weeks ltr. but.... RS, CBM and PM tmr are all down! weee~

JYJY!

Leap of Faith

Leap of Faith

Verse #1
Walking up the mountains
Crawling through the valleys
You are there with me
When I’m feeling lost
You fill my heart with songs
Jesus You’re my strength
To carry on

Chorus#
Jesus You’re my Shelter
You’re all that I desire
With You around, we’re never afraid
We’ll take a leap of faith,
To face the coming race
Catching the flame
We’ll never be the same.

Verse #2
You cause my heart to open
Overflowing your presence
Giving Grace to me
Entering your beauty
In the holy of holies
Never want to leave
This secret place

Bridge#
One thing I ask,
To stay with You
Forever and ever

--------------------------------------------

My season song, when i was thinking what song to write, i came down to 3 objectives:

- Closer to HS

- Able to breakthrough

- Reliant on Him more

Just my season song, something that God did during this period of time. Lyrics might be simple, but all from the deepest of my heart. Leap of Faith came from sentosa, when i took the flying fox. I started the song with just one verse, and then it progressed on with Leap of Faith. My season word, leap of faith, cause whenever, whatever i do something, it takes faith to do it.

Everyone would agree w themselves that my life is one of the life you wouldn't want to live at all. You won't want to be a day of me, cause everything is terrible. But as long as we take a leap of faith, jumping down that high 'flying fox' will not be scary, but actually quite exciting. I'm gonna face everything i face with Faith.

If you wanna hear, let me know, i'm super willing to send you. haha.

Thank you Sarah, you're always so supportive to hear my songs! Love you alot~ :D

Most imptly, the song is by inspiration of Him.

I dont mind going thru last week again. okay im crazy, im joking, i dont want.

TYJ.

i like...

我喜欢温柔的人，
会写歌的人，
会唱歌的人，
喜欢音乐的人，

和会打篮球的人。

If you're the following above please contact me.
HAHAHAHA, just joking. I'm not desperate sia, just talking about it with Bizhew only cause we were listening to korean songs.

Cant believe im hearing Shinee! lol! but I like their voices, and the songs they write themselves one leh.. talented and all, i like talented people, all kinds of talent, someone like me.... cheyyyy~ JUST JOKING, i not bhb :D

I feel really super set free after yesterday, like seriously a burden is gone, something heavy on my heart is finally gone. Like thank God, things that makes me heavy is slowly going away. Not like for the past week, i was literally sighing the whole way, can ask bizhew and manwei. sighhh, but it's gone :D

weeeee, really quite free now, i'm gonna conquer all my projects and other small things God wants me to deal with.

Anyway, all of us got to learn to give up on things. let go...
Today i make a choice to give up..... my nails, cause if i have to play my guitar and record my song, i got to cut my nails. but yeah, for a song, i am willing to.
BYE NAILS when i get home.
Similarly for other parts of my life, i'm willing to give up on things now, for something bigger. & maybe in the future, then i will look for them again. After going a big round, it's back to the starting.

I'm super happy and back to my vision again,

dont lose it xinying! :D

Love is beautiful

Thank you my dear friend for being so honest about everything.

Really felt super set free by sharing everything, thanks for your courage and boldness to share, & really it's not your fault but mine. my childishness yo!

I really thank God for you, ever since you bought me to church, my life is never the same. We always wonder why in the first place you would ask me to go for the combine meeting & why i would say yes, but now i know, it's just His plan. Esp the file today, the things that happen last week, i think it's just part of His plan to let us be set free.

Today honestly from the depths of my heart, i wanna thank you sincerely, for always being there, loving me, encouraging me with loving notes, spending time with me, listening to me.

Today shall be the start of our renewed friendship,

& i know it's gonna be more awesome from now on, cause we set everything apart already, and nothing can stop us from sharing alrdy since the hardest are over. hahaha.

Diversity will make us united & breakthroughs are coming our way! (:

Restoration, Renewal, Revival & Abundance.

Love you dear friend (:

God told me that love changes everything, because He first love, i love Him.
Love makes the world go round. I will rmb today!
God you're just amazing awesome.

new songgg

Walking up the mountains

Crawling through the valleys

You were there with me

I think i give too much info on my blog sometimes, that is not very good. :(

Step blogging so much xinying! Maybe i will stop awhile again, aiyah, you can't trust me on this. forget it.. hahaha.

Anyway, projects are ending but i realise the ending of the projects are the most stressful part, presentations and preparation. I'm not good at talking, proper stuff, but i'm good at impromptu stuff, cause it's when the HS leads me. Quite stressful sia.. i need extra grace!!

Oh yeah, one thing. I'm really thankful for the HS, and God heard my prayers. Many of times, i asked Him to lead me in things i cannot see and for quite many times, He did help me, esp in times of restoring relationships. 2 situations that really 'woah' me, was with Boon & Joshua, my very very awesome brothers and dearest friends. Not gonna share what happened exactly, but during the 2 nights, God just told me to talk to them, apologise to them for some stuff, and i just talk even when sometimes it just seems unnecessary to anybody.

For boon, woah, it kinda restored our relationship, and build our friendship,

& for Joshua, i think it was random but he was actually thinking of our friendship(good way) too at the same time and boom, hit.

(DONT STUN, every relationships got loopholes, it's never perfect okay!)

I like it when HS acts in such a way that we do not know why we should do it.

Because i obeyed, He worked. But sometimes i don't dare to do some things the HS prompt me to do. Xy, obedienceee!

Leap of Faith, leap of faith...

I wrote a new song, & i'm calling it leap of faith :D

heehee, for now i completed the melody and lyrics, but i'm gonna make it better first, any songs written in just a impromptu time can be led by HS, but it could also be because i just wanna finish it fast. but no... i wanna make it my song to Him, my season song!

weee, song up soon. (:

One more thing, God gave us the power to solve the problem, but the problem is not solved yet, until we face the problem. So i think i'm gonna obey and face it, if not i will still be stuck. stuck. stuck.

& i havent changed, never change.
Just moving on, but deep inside i'm still the same. (:

Leap of Faith

Today i took a leap of faith.

I took Sentosa's the big big flying fox. wooo, super fun.

So the story's like this, we went sentosa this morning to film for the cook show, i dont know what cook show that sponsors us to sentosa to play and have fun but wow awesome!

I was actually very very scared to take the flying fox, but Jingying seems very relax about it and was like 'eh you scared anot? I NOT SCARED LEH HAHAHAH'. and then all of us except brother was like scared esp dajie.

On the way to my 'Leap of Faith', i was actually fearful about the whole thing, what if i die while jumping, but i realise everything is in God's hand, my life in His hands what, so i prayed. then i see many many people's character towards taking the ride.

The one that touched me most is actually 2 young girls who backed out and cried, okay can't really blame them la, because they are young. But this reminds me, sometimes because we're young in our faith, we don't dare to do things are that 'big' for us and wasted the resources God provide and didn't face the obstacle. so yeah, they wasted the money and went down. :(

After seeing this, my fear went away and this time Jingying got scared. hahaha and screamed all the way down when i relax only. except i scream cause i was in pain, the thing super tight sioh!!

Leap of faith, this is what i should do whenever i face any situations.

Because my God is greater than anything! Just like just now, Jy didn't want to help me with the bed, (cause we moving room) then i took a leap of faith and took my bed on the double deck, and bring down to lvl 1 and change bedsheet. woooo~

I'm strong, but it's Him who made me strong!

Though heart still kinda heavy, but i know in my new room, i'm gonna pray off everything! :D

Just so you know

No matter what my dear friends,
Xinying will never walk out on you.

Cause You guys are the treasures of my life, something that can't be replaced.

Today i made a decision to love so much more,
and yesterday to focus so much more on the right things now.

So dearest Spaz, W524, my family, Kit, Eileen, Chung & friends who love me,
I will never walk out on you because you love me as i am, and edify me whenever you can.

So I'm here for you, whenever you need me (:
Just as you are for me.

My Word My Bond. (:

Saviour, He can move the mountains

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

What a very awesome day (weird phrasing i know).

Started out with Kit, thanks Kit, for being my sister, always there for me! :D had a good time w her, even though we're suppose to go running. hahaha, fail sia! KIT BETTER RUN NEXT WEEK, NO EXCUSEEE!!

Then a very good service. During worship, i saw my breakthru, after 3 4 months of being stuck, really, God showed me my vision that continued on, and He speak so many things i cannot remember all, but words of comfort and of breakthrus. One that touched me, even before the word, "Xy, when you cry, i'm there crying too, with tissue papers. I feel for you, you're not alone. Trust me." (Don't ask me why got tissue papers, maybe God is hinting me, the next time i cry, remember my tissues. HAHA!)

The word was so awesome, & PK at the end said, let God fill your emptiness, and suddenly, i was searching for that emptiness, but i didn't know what it was, i tried to search and then tears roll down. I know He was filling that part of me that was missing, now it's back i know. (:

This week was really quite a hard week for me, & my members know it, Spaz too. When i look back, actually i think i'm kinda childish, this means i grow up hor?? but i really thank God, He placed such awesome people in my life that I can share with them, yet at the same time i know i can trust them.

Just so blessed today, like something in my spirit break thru, and after hearing all my mbrs open up just now, i just feel, PK's msg did something for my cg, tt our unity will grow to another level, and also loving Jieying so much more.

I'm letting it go, no more turning back, and no more running wild.

It's time to love my God and obey His words that He spoke, after learning it the hard way.

Thanks for an awesome night guys,

Thank you God,

Thank you Deanna for asking me to have fun in church today!! :D

Love is the greatest of all.

1 Cor 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

When i was a child....

This week is the week i receive most rebukes from God.

While i was thinking about this thing on the train to meet my dearest Spastics, i saw this scene.

This man came up the train, saw an empty seat, but he was carrying a luggage, and the train suddenly jerked, and he kicked this quite old woman sitting at the priority seat. & suddenly that woman got so attitude-ish, and TSK him and clean her foot. i was quite stun, then after like 2 3 mins, that woman stood up and walked grumbly to the another side of the train's priority seat.

The man looked and had a "whatever" look.

For me, i felt that woman a little childish and it hit me. I am equally childish thinking about this certain thing and God just shoot me "Ain't you equally childish too?" and i stun for awhile.

yeah, & this verse came to me,

When i was a CHILD, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a MAN, I put away childish things.

So i'm gonna put away with the childish things and start speaking, understanding and thinking as a Grown-up. I need to grow up! :D

One of the weeks that i received the most rebukes.

But it made me realise, how much i should be happy with, nothing can be compared to how much joy i can have spending time with my Spastics and my cg W524. Thanks guys, i really love you all! I'm just so thankful for your love, esp the Spaz, thanks for keeping and loving me. & Thank you Jieying.

LOVE LOVE

TODAY IS GONNA BE A VERY AWESOME DAY,

CAUSE IT'S MY BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY!

I LOVE YOU DEANNA GAN DI DI!

Words can't express how much you mean to be, thanks for always being there to love me even when i pangseh you guys at times. you're always just a floor away from me, thanks darling! I miss those times we walk home tgt from sec school! we should do it again!!! when we're both free. haha, i will free myself up for you guys soon, we needa catch up so so much. i love you gan! thanks for not giving up! (:

Take all of me

Today was really a very very good day.

I had fun with Bizhew and Manwei, went crazy with them since like dont know when we did it, or we did it before anot. Listen to them and all. Really good fun. Thanks girls, love ya! (:

Came home, decided to go for a run, drag Jingying along, and we walked one big round, talking about what's happening in our lives. Then ran, then fitness corner to continue our talk for 2 hours. I realise my dear girl grow up already. Thanks Jy, for listening to everything and sharing w me your revelation that blessed me. I'm just waiting for you to grow up, really. So when we move into our new room, let's pray and share even more. Thanks girl.

Today i come to a decision.

I wanna remove this hindrance. I wanna move on. Better to let go then me keep thinking of it right? i wanna search for an answer, not a question again. byez.

Thanks Chung, when Jy said i was not okay, you just called and ask me.

This is what i call a friend who promise me to be there, and he's really there, His word his bond. Thanks Chung.

Thanksgiving day sioh... hahaha.

Teehee, on a brighter note, I'm okay.

Life is still good. (: God is still with me, He still calls me as His own.

My breakthru is here, as long as i breakthru this hindrance. '

Food for thought: Unhappiness towards a person can change into hatred over a period of time.

Quite true hor? So let's not cause any unhappiness!

P.S.: Dejavu typing this post and this scene on my bed hearing the things by my sisters. wooooo~ I'm in God's will! :D

HS

Lord I give you my heart

I give you my soul

I live for you alone

Every breathe that i take

Every moment i'm awake

Lord have your way in me

Love drives people to do something they won't expect themselves to do.

Love drives people, and it's important where we place our love at.

Love makes the world go round.

Love is a motivator.

This season, more of the HS, even though i might not be in flow with the others, i am in flow with my own season, cause everyone have their own seasons. But i got to rmb, HS needs to be in every season of our lives.

More of You,

Less of me.

Really thankful God remembers me, for every bs i go thru, He puts me right in that season to be in, the right word to suit my situations and all so that i can best learn the word and put in into my spirit. (:

ILYF.

AND IT ALL TURNED INTO LIGHT. :D

It's You

It's You who makes me strong
It's You whom I belong
It's You that I desire.

Total reliance on Him, so that even people hurt you or leave you again, you know that He won't leave you.
This way, you know you're not alone. Reliance reliance, this must grow stronger yo.

But im believing, im conquering this fear. (:
haha no emo-ing. Just thinking yo, life is good, life is great.
After reflecting on some parts of what i'm thinking, actually the solutions lies in my hand. Comeon... i can solve them. Some things, don't think about it, some things, take action and on and on...

Projects are coming to an end very very soon. :D

I like sleeping early cause it makes me happier the next day. Slept at 8 plus and i haolian to my older sister this morning when she complaining she's tired! hahaha!
I'm gonna try sleep at 10pm everyday if i even reach home that early. Bad habit, change it!

P.S. I still like the songs i wrote, time to write a new song maybe? but i got to cut my nails... :( okay still got time! haha guitar not with me now.

Flow

In love relationship class just now, i learned something quite important.

We need commitment, initmacy(sharing of things, not physical intimacy) and passion in a relationship to make it work.

Like a triangle, one cannot be lower than the another, but all equal.

High commitment + High intimacy is just a companionship relationship, we need passion to continue this relationship.

Just like any other relationship, esp with God. Everyone is actually searching for a very deep relationship, where we can share almost every other thing in the world, without knowing that we will be judge upon what we say.

These few days are just days to reflect on, and think of more things. No wonder my mama say i look old, maybe im just born like this, and i'm like just brother lim, just that i don't emo as much as him. haha.

There's time and season for everything. & there's a right time and place to express ur emotions (whether good or bad) too. Sometimes i feel i'm quite bad at this area, so yeahhh, i should just learn how to do it, so my existence won't be a burden to others and to the atmosphere in future. :D

The last thing on earth i wanna do is be a burden to others.

Everyday should be a day where you start off feeling like you have already conquered a world, so nothing will be too hard for you! :D

& haha, it's so scary when twitter becomes indirect suaning area.

Secretttttt.

Heeeeeeeeee, i got it already. Both my flesh and spirit.

Sometimes we don't get joy cause there's things hindering us. Either emotionally, spiritually or mentally. Whatever it is, yeah.

It's really time to progress on, esp after worldcup, after it distracted me from all my sleep, tiring sioh. I got to throw away all distractions. Including things that i really really like alot, that's what i taught in the bs right xy? Cross-bearing takes sacrifices.

I had this dream just now and i was super happy, but when i woke up, i realise it's just a dream. & maybe this dream is just something i made out, and it won't happen. Who knows la. Maybe down the years i might read back this post and laugh it off. always happens!

Actually, if we think about this, when we zoom in closely in people's actions, sometimes they are doing things for you. Just for you, but because your eyes are too zoomed out, you miss everything. Come on, let's reflect again...

When we reflect & look back, things becomes clearer. Wanna double-check/confirm, ask the people around. hahaha. Zoom in zoom in..

PICTURES SPAM:

after a long time. let me high abit about pictures!! I MISS CHARMAINE!!! Her camera and her! But her moreeee!

When i post pics, im actually forcing you guys to look at my pictures indirectly. dont wanna see dont scroll down ahh! :D

My cg girls. Love themmm!
MISS JIEYING!
What we do on the train! LOL!

PHOTOSHOOT
dadddyyyyI should have a nicer camera!!! i look abit nicer than normal tt day, even though ugly + abit nicer still ugly. cheyyy edify myself abit, i very pretty. chey i bhb. nvm nvm, stop talking to yourself xy. go sleep.

nights~

and it goes on and on

I like this picture but jy dont look nice. sorry my dear.

SPAIN WON, the only thing that kept me going today.

complicated complicated, someday i will know what every pieces and puzzles mean. Thinking too much is redundant, yet i fall into this trap. All i should do now is really just to turn to Him, even if i dont get the answer.

Dont like to be kept hanging and have no breakthrough.

So i shall swing harder, or another cut my string off.

I like how Spain fight, the team i supported since the starting of WC, they won! Holland played a good fight too. Even though at the end of the competition, only one will win, another the 'losers', they are actually not the 'losers', cause Holland won Brazil and all the other good teams. My heart feel for Holland when they looked so discouraged at the end, but i know! A setback won't take Holland down!

ANW, VILLA STILL ROCKS!

I am strong!!! :D
& i need my sleep, so tired!!

WORLDCUP LAST DAY!!

Had a very good day with my dearest family, having fun and all. Went for the photoshoot today with my 3 siblings, fun to describe everything, then dinner at T1, FISH.

Havent had a good time like this in a very very long time alrdy.

Okay, maybe getting in the cook show isn't that bad after all. (:

Spain vs Holland now and i really really want spain to win!!! SPAIN FOR THE WORLDCUP!!! :D

Currently @ Joel's hs watching w Eileen, Gary and Jasmin. Super exciting, pain will cfm cfm chop win! weeee~

Short post la, i pray i can survive school tmr :D

Fall on me now

Had a very awesome time in service and at timbre today with friends.

I totally understand the feeling of the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, in another way.

Like sometimes i know complaining is wrong blah and all, but sometimes the flesh just starts to complain. So this shows, i should control and train both my spirit and flesh to be the same capacity to reach a certain level where it is on par so what my spirit says, my flesh does it.

Like when I'm tired, i will go rest, both flesh and spirit, and go reflect. Time to think about this..

Really needed the toilet today after Pst Mike finished preaching the word today, and i was like "God... i go toilet after word okay?" But then i realise i cannot go at a time like this, cause 1) my mbrs need me 2) i need God too. & thank God i didn't go toilet, cause if i went, this svc will be a normal svc for both me and my mbr. thank God!

Thank God, and thank God for Huimei and Rae. The awesome KEL zone leaders! :D

I respect people who go down actually, because they make a decision to put down everything / let go, and walk front to face their 'music'. & these people are who i call the 'strong ones', because they want to grab more. Nothing wrong wanting to grab more, cause at the end of the day, they are the one who is filled with the spirit of God, and those filled will learn more from the WOG and learn faster than those who are not filled.

People who go down, ain't weak. But they are strong! I'm strong, my members are strong! :D Wee thank God for strong people in W524! :D

Awesome time at Timbre with Heart Attack. Didn't know this Primary/Sec school game can come in hand when we've nothing to do.

God is good. (:

Bye W2, i put you behind for good, and i will only rmb your goodness. :D Ily but i still wanna see you! haha.

Way to cure insecurity in a person, affirm that person alot. Quite true, time to think about it too.

& i dont need how to care others see me, cause in their eyes i'm never what they want. but in God's eyes, i'm always in His plan. (: What God thinks matters most. His plans are more perfect then other's plan. true? haha.

GERMANY WILL WIN TODAYYY! 1-1 now.

Vapour in the wind

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

Still addicted to this song. wooo like nice! :D

I find joy in giving BS, like i learn more. :D

But i think the flow of God very coolz, when i started to think if i say that something, then the next point came in to aid the situation. weee :D

Giant with Mum & then went to get my bs book and then went down to yewtee, havent been faithful man, so my goal is to complete giving bs by august! i must be faithful! & i must rise up disciples and help my dearest jieying!

Reading Book of Acts again, and wooo, i feel like i learned so much more again, must re-read everything again. but confession, i havent finish my bible yet. Soon soon...

There's 3 levels of Relationship(of knowing a person)

[from the lowest to highest]

1. Natural or Physical level (surface level)

2. Soul or Personality level (knowing a person very well not just physical attraction)

3. Spiritual level (knowing a person inside out, not by just how he act, but by very thoughts too)

It's cool to have a person know you by spiritual level, but all these takes process, time together. :D Not just on the surface level but something deeper. I like deep people. haha.

I'm loving the WOG. :D

Anyone wanna lend me books? so i can absorb more?? :D I will love you alot! hahaha.

I should be a good girl and go school. yes yes. i will.

Love

The last time Pst Mike came, i bought a friend down for salvation.

He started laying hands, so i thought okay, new friend for laying hands, then he came to hug me and said "Jesus loves you" and laid hands. Even though in my head i was like, Pst not me, it's my friend! but the power was so strong, and at that time i didn't know why he said those 3 words to me but yeah, just cool to have a Pst hug you. anointed one somemore.

I didn't know how that day could helped me in my walk just this year, & why Pst want to say those simple 3 words that i alrdy know. but now i know. God is working in a far way earlier mode than me.

Love must be a feel thing not just a know thing.

"Jesus love you"

This 3 words, must be engraved deeper into me.

So i know why im enduring everything i am. :D

Jyjy! Gonna turn my argh things into weeeee things. :D

I'm Yours

SPAIN WONNNNNN!! :D

Anw, day started kinda argh again. I think i got to learn to get thru bad days, cause i knw it will be like this for this period, and if i dont learn, i will never be happy, and no happy days.

We got in the Top 8 for the cooking show and it means, im gonna miss sunday cgm for 2 weeks, and my projects stuff blah... oh man. i was super peh chek in class just now. super super pehchek. Simin told me i need another counselling class. haha!

but at least the champions wins a trip to Australia, this makes this a little better, so since we're in, let's win the first, so i can go to my dream place Australia, my sheepy place, my childhood dream to migrate there to have a greenland and field to play with the sheeps. Be a good Shepherd! Maybe God really wants me to go for this competition and face my past, even when i prayed let the interview fail. this shows God wont help you if you dont pray according to what He wants you to do.

Yeah, so i should just look on the brighter side on everything, then i wont be feeling irritated and all the bad feelings. Obedience!

Had a very good laugh today, can't remember the last time i had one. haha, kua zhang sioh! Thanks Eileen for accompanying me to my Singapore River today, riverwalk to read my bible & we suddenly realise so many things again!

Thanks Joel Jasmin Eileen Yuda Yugene for the good fellowship today! Made my day happier and all the high moments singing old songs, craps, durian and heart attack even though my hand hurts.

Little things are and gonna make me happy!

So that i will learn to be a happy person.

Meanwhile i will reflect on every single thing that happened during 2010, so i can improve myself, and things i have cause hurts to people and myself. My goal this year is to love even more, but i havent achieve it yet.

What a long post. haha, school tmr! time to sleep! :D

God is working every single day, & He knows my heart desires.

Thanks for placing people into my life! :D

I am a flower quickly fading

Who am I - Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Beautiful song. (:

Just happened to find it in my computer and randomly it played this song.
& then i searched the lyrics, & then i thought thru everything again, & then i realise, God is working again.

standing

Complains always go thru my brains, heart and mind and whatever there is. I'm getting a little too grumpy this few days or something. Until my emotions will just automatically shut down to the extent i don't talk. weeee. what an exciting scene to see me not talk.

Bad sign, but sometimes it feels so pressed on every sides. At least for me.

Thank God for Dorothy today, she was talking about her psychology, cause she's having a paper tmr, then she started telling me about stress. No one can be stress by projects, friends, situations and so on. In the end, it's just how YOU handle everything. You're the one causing stress upon yourself.

It's all about capacity, and i have to go thru all these to expand.

But sometimes, i'm lost and i don't want to carry on, but i know i can't. I got to be strong and lean on. HS is the what i'm learning now, i hope i can absorb more in the BS.

I just wanna be who i am. Can i?

But i know i got to grow up and out of it.

Got to have Daying's attitude, smile thru everything.

Even when no one understands but He understands. JY!

兄弟

兄弟们!!!

球场上谁给我们支援
兄弟！
球场上谁给我们信心
兄弟！
球场上谁给我们勇气
兄弟！
有了兄弟，决对无敌！

If only i'm a guy, woooo~ I can do so many things (okay i respect God's decision for making me a girl), but i can be like yuan da ying, the funniest guy around, cheerful one, never say die, shuai and he plays bball! My bball passion is not from this show only hor! I not so xian shi (practical).

But this show shows me what is unity and what is not giving up. In whole, i like W and Daying the character the most! Daying my kind of guy! haha! W my kind of girl! (nah im not les)

Today ends my lan qiu huo craze, cause im done with the show. :D

HOLLAND IN 1 HOUR's TIME.

SPAIN IN 25HOURS TIME!!!

This clearly shows who i'm supporting! hah!

Used to it?

Sometimes i feel so detached from stuff, that i think i got used to it. & when i get use to something, i tend not to do anything to it. Applies to everything in my life.

Guess i got to change this habit of mine, if not in the end, as a result of being detached from things...... then i complain. complaining is bad.

Sometimes when you get too used about something, you don't mind what's happening and you continue to let it happen.

Let's kill this "used it it" habit.
I got to change it if not there will be no growth.

I like Daying's "smile thru it" behaviour.
Difficult but at least life is better that way :D

weee. Class now actually.
byebye!

fear

要克服恐惧

不是逃避

而是贴近它

I think Daying very wei da!! Just for love, he's willing to sacrifice. WHY JIE ER NOT GAN DONG!!!!

i'm getting cheena. hahah, nvm, just for this season. HOLLAND MATCH LATERRR!!!! should sleep first before i catch the match. holland will win! :D

Bball

Watching lan qiu huo! yuan da ying cool ttm man. retarded but cutee!!! and Basketball super cool! Really miss those times playing bball with the bball peeps sioh. but i think all of us off form also.

So exciting and i think the story nice sioh even though some parts of flying really impossible in the game. I wanna be taller!!! can i? :D

The bball and soccer season! haha!

Brother dont wanna tell me who jie er choose in the end. so sad... :(

Peace by the river

I have a feeling i might have stomach flu.

So painful and i went to the toilet for like going 7 times already. oh man, painful ttm, plus fever.

But Thank God for strength throughout the day! Still able to make it for service and concentrate during Dr AR Benard's session. Had a good day fellowshipping too. Love my Cg man!

Eileen asked me what does peace link to?

I said, it reminds me of river.

True true, water flows down a river and no matter what, even when a stone hit the water, it will still continue to flow in the right direction the stream is flowing.

Thank God for His peace, and i know i will be healed. Go away stomach upset.

i got another joke, when you're stomach upset, what will it do?

CRY! hahaha, then you go toilet. okay, not funny.

Boonz, Joshua, Rae, Kit and more and more say i burn my brain. Okay i realise i become more crappy when im sick, and i dont look sick when im sick. irony~

Leading testimony tmr, im praying for wisdom! and for healing. so i can go for my cgm :D

wee~

You conquer the grave,

Now my debt is erase.

Thank you Jesus. I'm starting on my next lvl! :D

Good day

Gracew! i found this! & you found the school one! hahaha. all of us changed..

Well, today's a very good day, usually this happens after a very bad day, except today is really a very good day.

1) Woke up late but found out tutorial cancelled.

2) Dad offered to send me to Bedok.

3) Dad blessed me with $20.

4) I got 23.5/25 for my Psycho paper

5) I went shopping.

6) I went to eat wanton mee with kit, that person gave me extra wanton.

7) Saw like 2 mediacorp people, a guy and michelle chia.

8) Jieying ask me to take testimony for Sunday's cgm, my first time.... i can do it!

and on and on...

Anyway to just sum just, today's a very awesome day, except for those small little can't be bothered details, it won't bring me down!

Thanks Kit for being there the whole day yo! :D

Love ya!

Time to sleep!

Tired after settling stuff.

bye!~

Out of my hands

Saw the link on Twitter, and i watched and tears just flow when i'm in front of the house alter in my living room. God's presence can be anywhere. Just got reminded of what God promised me, and like what i read in "You the Leader" just now on the way home.

Today's a screwed up day cause of alot of things not just one, but good things still happen. So i'm just gonna focus on my good things. God's promises breaks limitations, and he just reminded me thru that song.

Good things today:
1) I have 18/30 for my RS which is cool, cause i heard quite alot of ppl failed, and i'm one of the highest? idk, but thank God.
2) I have good hair day!
3) Last lecture, Blaw is cancelled and i can go home early.
4) I was early for project meeting today.
5) When i needed a computer for proj, Zon sat next to me and my friend's table, and he lend me his macbook and tada! We can do our project thanks to him! :D
and more i know it!
PJ!

Just gonna keep counting my blessing/good things, instead of looking at the negative. Positivity FTW!

I should be in a good mood now.
yes! bye negativity, you're not allowed to be in my dictionary.